School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

[secondaryhell]

I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

The OP confirmed that he would be vaccinated out of school.

Comments like this are why the SEN system is so clogged up and many children with genuine SEN do not get the help that they need.

Children who don’t like going to school very rarely need an EHCP.

What utter nonsense. It’s not about “don’t like school.” The kid is under CAMHS. And SEND is clogged up because local government is woefully under funded.

He’s fully vaccinated he just has a needle phobia so refused to have any done at school.

Brilliant!
Someone understands that letting children avoid everything they don’t like and don’t want to do is very harmful.
Bravo.

Absolutely ! The rise in cases of Measles and TB is proof of this

I think this is one of the silliest things I have ever read on here. You don’t think that the DS’s mental health and self-harming issues could be related to school? Do you realise how hard it is to secure an EHCP, and that it is only going to get harder because of Bridget Phillipson’s reforms? You don’t think that the OP’s DS has genuine SEN when he is self-harming? I wonder what you would classify as ‘genuine’ SEN? My elder DD is blind, multiply neurodivergent and has a life-limiting autoimmune disease. It still took me three years to secure a crappy EHCP from my LA mainly because her arrogant secondary school prided themselves on meeting her needs. They did not. As I say, she is blind, and teachers were meant to modify her work but they always ‘forgot’ or were too busy or modified it incorrectly so that her worksheets were ridiculously large. It took me two years of campaigning to get the school to use her pupil premium and pupil premium plus funding to buy her a specialist laptop. The irony is that when I got the EHCP, school got the highest tier of funding to meet my daughter’s needs. Obviously, not much of this was spent on my DD. I don’t know why people who have had a good experience of the school system for their DC cannot understand that this is not the case for all children and young people.

Unvaccinated kids should not be in mainstream school. HPV still kills women, and this boy has refused to be vaccinated to prevent spreading it? Nah. He shouldn’t be in school.

Tell the school that deregistering is a last resort because they repeatedly fail to meet his needs and if they are going to challenge this now then what are they planning on doing differently?

If you had bothered to read the full
thread or even just my posts you will see that he refused to have it done in school but had it done at the GP🤦

Write a mail to the teacher telling him to now declare your son shaggable infront of the girls. What a twat!

Incorrect. The school has no duty, the local authority do.
You can deregister your child for any reason you like without permission or approval providing they are not attending a specialist school or under a social services plan. The involvement from school ends the day they receive the de-registration email. They are duty bound to notify the LA, nothing else.

If every parent that didn't like a school was just allowed to deregister their child without making other arrangements and ensuring another school could take them, then very few children in the UK would get an education.

Really @Laurmolonlabe?

You think that every parent would find it in themselves to teach their child, find about the school,curriculum, have enough knowledge to teach the child in secondary. And to do so with no income because well…theyd be home educating instead
😂😂😂
Thats not going to happen

Some children have needle phobia. The HPV vaccine doesn’t stop people contracting HPV. 80% of the sexually active population will have HPV at some time in their lives, and vaccinated people can transmit HPV. Whoever said that was medically misinformed. It’s quite dangerous to suggest to teenagers that being vaccinated will stop them from contracting or transmitting HPV.

@hahabahbag and what if those lengthy conversations, meetings etc… mean it takes an awful length of time for the child to be honest educated and during that time let’s say, they become anorexic, try to commit suicide and/or succeed

Then that’s ok then?

The checks you’re talking about? Yes they need to be done. But not before ‘authorising’ home education.

@secondaryhell as you are aware you can deregister and the school cannot prevent this. Be aware that the LA can ask straight away for evidence of learning they won’t take into consideration the school holidays, so be prepared for them to approach you soon. As others have said please join HEFA (Home Education for All) so that you’re aware of both your legal rights and your duty to provide a suitable education from day one. The LA won’t care if you’re aiming for another school, as far they are concerned you’ve deregistered and your son is now Home Educated. Good luck.

Men can get cancer from infection with certain strains of HPV that are spread through sexual contact. Men can develop HPV-linked cancer of the mouth and throat, penis, or anus. That’s why boys as well as girls are vaccinated.

HPV infections are common among sexually active people, and infections often cause no symptoms. The immune system usually clears HPV infections from the body.

The thing is, it's entirely possible that your understanding of a meeting with school differs from theirs. Did anyone take minutes? I'm not disputing your child's needs but it sounds rather as if differences of understanding have compounded and snowballed. As others have pointed out you've been fined twice despite having proof of medical appointments. The lack of plan is also noteworthy. I don't think the teachers comment about the vaccine was particularly bad - choices have consequences. Was it his place to comment? Probably not, but we're all human.

It seems as if there is zero trust between you and the school so I would try and get him in somewhere else before you go for homeschooling.

He needs the HPV jab. Don't condemn other women to possible womb cancer when it's so easily prevented.

You know you can just read all of my posts, then you’ll see that he has had it via the GP due to needle phobia.

It is also to protect boys and men from other cancers such as head and neck .

He (or anyone else who doesn’t have the vaccine) are fine to be in school. Transmission isn’t happening IN school.

I recorded the last 2 meetings so that when they didn’t do anything as agreed I had proof so they could not say I had misunderstood. Apparently that was a breach of trust but I told them it was actually to ensure accountability and transparency.

Ok but did you tell them at the start of the meeting? Or afterwards?

It doesn’t work for all children. Nurses have a duty of care and won’t inject a very anxious child who is flinching because this could cause an injury. They refer the child to have the vaccine done at a clinic, where it’s quieter and there’s more time. As happened with OP’s child.

It's utterly disgusting how teachers with safeguarding quals can so easily blame the bullied victim for being bullied and write off MH as a pull yourself together matter!

Don't listen to the school, talk to the local authority you'll get more help. Remember schools are businesses now, if they lose a pupil they lose funding.

Sending hugs to you and your DC. Neither of you deserve fines or punishments.