School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

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I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

I think this is your problem. Unless you have written to the school to say that you have decided to take full responsibility for providing DS's education by Home Educating him in accordance with section 7 of the 1996 Education Act, you are actually just saying that you won't be sending him to school.

You would have been better to leave him on roll at the school over the holidays, unless term continues for the next few days and you think that will trigger legal action?

You really do need to declare that you are home educating (and do it in some way - it doesn't have to be formal) if you are deregistering him.

Unless the OP’s DS has an EHCP, or is on a CP plan or has been in the last five years, the OP has every legal right to deregister her son without any consultation with the LA.

No. They do not. You are wrong.

They have a right to electively home educate. Not just deregister from school.

The two things are different.

What an arrogant post, I'm glad you're not the DSL at our school.
"101 of it being defined EBSA is a parent working with school to improve attendance, not against school."
Parents should not work with the school to improve attendance unless it is in the best interests of the child.
School are obliged to get the child's attendance up, but parents should be doing the best for their children.
My colleague trusted their school 100% and did literally everything they were asked to get their child's attendance up, and their child ended up self harming and is now unable to even leave the house.
The parents are full of regret that they worked with the school, and look at the damage caused, it's terrible. Undiagnosed (masked) ADHD.
We are not at that stage yet but I would 100% work "against" school if I thought it was in my child's best interests.

I guess home educating parents don’t particularly like being the scapegoats for systemic failures in social care, and in the horrific case of Sara Sharif, for the failures of family court. That’s also alongside the horrendous experiences that many children have at school that lots of people seem happy to just ignore. Because all but one of the children mentioned in this thread were well known to social services. And of course every death of a child is an enormous tragedy. But for every preventable death at the hands of parents how many children are there that take their own lives after suffering serious bullying at school? Or after struggling to cope with school because of mental health or neurodiversity? We just want what’s best for our children and know that school is unfortunately not always what they need.

This has got to be up there either way one of the most ignorant comments I’ve ever read on MN……

Facepalming so hard I’m giving myself a headache.

Don't deregister him. They can wash their hands of his education that way.
My DD didn't go to school for over a year and I didn't receive a fine. She wasn't even seeing CAMHS (shite and eternal waiting list). I had one GP note stating mental health issues and they never bothered me about attendance. I did email her absence in every single morning without fail through and they came to see her at the front door every month.

While she was off they started the process for an EHCP and eventually on-line learning to get her through GCSE's. If I'd have taken her out she'd have been my problem to educate.

Ummm. Who's going to tell her how HPV is transmitted?

Don't be such a Martyr! It's not about being a scapegoat it's about protecting Children! Keeping Children safe applies to the Home Ed Community as well!. Jesus next time I walk through the scanning machine at the airport shall I complain that they are making me a scapegoat because of a few people that blow up aeroplanes or hijack them and fly them into buildings or shall I just be glad that there are measures in place to keep everyone safe, because even though I know I'm not a terrorist, unfortunately the airline staff don't, so I have to be treated as if I am one to keep myself and others safe.

I agree that the HPV vaccination is important and that HPV is a killer. However, it's ridiculous to suggest that he should be prevented from being in a mainstream school - this is one case where the child's temporary lack of a vaccination is certainly not going to be responsible for spreading an illness in his school.

Besides, the boy concerned is fully vaccinated according to the OP. He simply couldn't cope with getting this vaccination at school.

If the OP has given us an accurate report of the teacher's comment, then the teacher was being inappropriate. At any of the schools were I worked as a class teacher or middle manager, the teacher concerned would have been seen by her line manager.

He didnt refuse the jab hes a child you told him not to have it and he doesnt need time to recover he needs legally to be in school

It’s scary that there’s more than one poster on this thread to have made similar comments to that one!

Fair comment.
Our GPs here, will only do it for girls. Not boys.
Boys have to attend a catch up clinic. Don’t ask me why .

It doesn’t matter whether the child is fully vaccinated or not, in school or out. A teacher is out of order (and walking close to breaching GDPR) by making comments about a child’s medical status.

Your son should have the jab. Everything else you say is valid.

I would hope not!😳

Tbf I don't and even I can tell the school would probably give a very different account of things.

In my experience anyone in this country who throws around the word 'corrupt' generally don't know the meaning of the word and lose the argument.

I make it clear to all students, that when they find a partner who they want to be with, it’s important to know if they have had the HPV jab. If they haven’t then you either use protection or wonder if you are prepared to take the risk.
Of course it’s a personal choice, but their future is so much better if they have the jab.
This is not aimed at OP, as I have been told he had it at the GP.
it’s also a very expensive vaccine.

I was thinking the same thing.

My son has regular appointments and therapies. There's no such thing as changing them because the clinics tend to be on certain days at certain times only. Not to mention the fact that they don't tend to be a short stroll around the corner.

School trips maybe…..

I agree but you said it doesn’t stop it for people which I took to understand as ‘all people’.

The vaccine protects against the primary high-risk strains of HPV that cause about 70% to 90% of cervical cancers, but it does not cover all strains. Therefore some people will be able to fight off the high risk strains the vaccine was designed for as their body produces antibodies when exposed to those high-risk strains. It is a significant break through in beating cervical cancer.

All that aside, OPs son is absolutely fine to attend school without vaccination as transmission is not taking place IN school.

We only have the OP’s side of the story. Obviously the school have their own version.

95% effective.
One of the most successful vaccines ever.
My guess is smear tests will be scaled back in the future.

95% effective.
One of the most successful vaccines ever.
My guess is smear tests will be scaled back in the future.

95% effective.
One of the most successful vaccines ever.
My guess is smear tests will be scaled back in the future.

It's weird to de register before looking for a new school. And enough time off for two fines is another red flag.

School have a duty of care so you would expect them to keep checking up on you. This isn't a bad thing.