School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

[secondaryhell]

I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

I completely agree.

So much hyperbole in OPs posts. I wonder where her son gets the dramatics from. He didn't refuse the jab, he was having it elsewhere. He should have said that.

As a PP said, anyone who has worked in a school knows YABU.

I think the point is that having had two fines already, if there is further unauthorised absence, @secondaryhell will be prosecuted in court for failing to ensure that her child receives education. The LA can only issue 2 fixed penalty notices for the same child in a three year rolling period. This is why the school think he is being deregistered for the parents' benefit rather than his.

I just Googled it the UK school system is 3rd in the WORLD after Denmark and Sweden- what on earth are you talking about OP?

Of course, this is the child’s version of what the teacher said. A child with very special needs. Would be interesting to see what the teachers version is.

There is always the possibility that the teacher has been misquoted, but there was no need for her to comment about the child at all.

I suppose it's possible that she wasn't referring to him and that the teacher was making some kind of general comment about sexual health in the course of a social and health lesson.

Camhs are overwhelmed with cases and are unlikely to have eyes on the child .

Here you go.

Not true.

https://www.suttontrust.com/our-research/confusion-in-the-ranks-how-good-are-englands-schools/

And maybe people working in schools need to be more trauma-informed? All you folks working in schools sound so nasty? It’s like you get off on young people having mental health and self-harming issues. But, no, let’s check the thermostat and decide if the kids are allowed to remove their toes or blazers. I do wonder if many of you have left your institutions and experienced life outside of school/college/university?

Anyone who reads this OP and doesn't Believe that schools can over step with fines has just been fortunate to not have a child with medical issues.
Some schools are refusing to authorise absences when children are ill in hospital

Argh schools can be buggers about this. Be frank. I am not making a suggestion, seeking advise or permission. I am simply informing you and have made it clear I want X removed from the school register.

Trauma informed will be the death of the education system.

Not everything is a trauma. Some things are slightly outside "normal" childhood and should be framed as such. Some things are truly traumatic. Ironically the children experiencing truly traumatic experiences don't tend to be shouting about it and their needs/rights/entitlement. They're too busy dealing with the trauma of a dead parent, dead sibling, abusive backgrounds etc.

She wasn't at risk through home ed she was at risk and known to social services from before birth.
This wasn't caused by home ed it was caused by failures in social services who left her in a dangerous environment despite ample opportunities to act to safeguard her

Yes I was a senior sister in a top London teaching hospital.
And yes, it was much easier in the NHS.
i should have stayed.

If a student has been challenging, with demanding parents, a school will not try and persuade you to stay…

She was known to social services and had visits. Social services deemed her home safe

Again a social services failure

You can’t deregister your child without either having another school you are transferring them to, or specifying in writing that you are taking responsibility for home educating them - the Local Authority will not allow a school to deregister a pupil without that, as it will view it as illegal off rolling of an undesirable pupil and they will have serious safeguarding concerns because your child will officially be a child missing education. Whether you or the school like it or not, therefore, until you formally confirm in writing that you are taking responsibility for your child’s home education (a copy of which correspondence the school will have to provide to the Local Authority), or your child’s new school confirms to the old school that they have turned up there for their first day, your child remains on roll at the current school and continues to accrue unauthorised absences until you take responsibility for deregistering properly. The school will also be obliged to tell the Local Authority if they have any concerns about your actual ability to home educate.

I think your idea of trauma may be different from mine.
I will give you a hint. July 7th.
Stop assuming every hiccup is a trauma.

How did the school have the right to challenge the deregistration then? if they could just wash their hands of it surely they would?

HPV doesn't spread like a cold so he isn't going to spread it around school.

OP has said he will be vaccinated but this needs to be done outside of school for valid reasons

Additionally. Vaccines are NOT compulsory

Only speaking from my own child’s experience, but change is/was the biggest trigger for her. A new school while she was in massive suicidal/SH crisis would likely have been the death of her, genuinely.

So she missed all of second year but she is alive and thriving now that she has left school and moved on to college.

Ok we get it, you are anti school and anti vax. It's is not social services fault Sara Shariff was killed, it was the people that hid her from the system and murdered her. As for vaccines not being compulsory, well then just you keep riding on the coat tails of those who do vaccinate and rely on them to keep these diseases eradicated for you and for your family. Do you know any children with polio? No? I wonder why not.

I’ll give you a hint:

Blind because exposed to drugs and alcohol. First kid

Second kid: experienced a sibling being murdered.

I think my kids’ experiences of trauma are on a par with yours.

I’ll add that anyone who reads this and doesn’t Believe that the SLT of schools are more concerned about their attendance stats than the wellbeing of the children in their care has just been fortunate to not have a child with medical issues. The pressure they put on parents with genuine reasons and evidence for their child’s absence is a disgrace.

OP, look after your child, I’m glad CAMHS have come up with a good plan for them.