School challenging my decision to deregister DS after serious safeguarding concerns

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I deregistered DS today and I’ve already had an email and voicemail from the school trying to tell me that they need to check with the LA that I have the right to do so! Of course I do!

This is just another example of them trying to make out that I have less rights than I do.

They tried to stop me taking DS to medical appts in school time (said they wouldn’t allow him to leave the premises).
They referred for fines with the LA for days he had absent due to severe MH issues and SH. They gaslit us in meetings repeatedly, made plans to get him back to school then changed things which really unsettled him.

He was bullied and was told to ‘be more resilient’. He refused the hpv jab and had a teacher make disgusting comments that ‘you all know who to stay away from girls!’

I now have a child who needs a lot of time to recover and I need to look for a better school or perhaps home educate we aren’t sure yet. I just can’t believe in 2026 schools treat pupils and parents so appallingly.

They are saying that I’m de registering not for ds best interests but because I’ve already had 2 fines. That’s not the main reason the main reason is that ds is at crisis point and because we think they are an unkind and corrupt school.

They can’t stop you then. They are correct though that they have to make the appropriate checks. If

Does your child have an Ehcplan?

Personally, I think you are doing the right thing withdrawing him from his current school.
He is your child and you have the legal right , to decide how and where he is educated.

I don’t work in education so your post remains as clear as mud.

The school would contact you when you send in a deregistration letter as they have to put in a removal from roll form to the local authority. The date on this has to be correct and it also has to state whether you are planning to do elective home education or whether you are planning to apply for another school. If your plans seem vague, then the local authority would expect the current school to gather further information. It's also so that the school don't then get accused of 'off rolling' your son as you don't need to deregister to apply to another school.
It sounds like you've triggered further conversations because they can't put vague answers on the removal from roll as that then means they have to pass your case to the 'children missing education' team. The school has been clumsy in telling you they have to check with the local authority, but they do need the correct pieces of paper from you.

We met with them on many occasions, kept getting support plans in place which they then kept changing , when we queried this we got told we had ‘misunderstood’. The worst bit was possibly the bullying, gaslighting us that it was ds perception of things , when he was hit they even tried to say it wasn’t deliberate! On one occasion they wanted him to do reflective work and write about what he could do gain resilience rather than adopting a victim role - really quite outdated opinions towards him.

Then you are legally entitled to deregulated. Please use the template letter on the HEFA group. Schools don’t actually understand parents’ legal rights. Which makes you think about all the other overstepping that they do.

I’m hoping that we can find another school but I’m just not ruling out home education in case it works better for ds. Luckily the holidays gives us some time to step back and have a think about what to do .

@ClovisWrites. Yes I know. Two sides to stories and we only have one here.

id prefer every parent deregistering their child to have awkward conversations about it, investigations, whatever than another child die or be abused. Yes it’s happened, and there are others where it was discovered in time to save them. I’m not suggesting op is wrong to de register, if I take the post at face value I would! But i actually was pretty worried that I was able to de register by kids (home move out of area) and at no point was I asked for a forwarding address and at no point did that lea or the one I was moving to contact me to ask why my dc weren’t in school for 5 months (house purchase collapsed, had to go into temporary housing) it demonstrated how kids fall through the cracks. I’m a safeguarding lead, I think they should have asked questions

Sara Shariff

Why deregister rather than first seek a transfer to a different school?

As far as I know you have every right to withdraw your child from a specific school. There's obviously an unfixable series of issues with him being there. And you want him to be protected.

I think just tell them firmly he's leaving and then I guess you need to tell the LA if you're home schooling or trying to get a different school.

I hope he finds somewhere where he can learn and develop in a better way.

I don’t and even I know what’s implied…and agree wholeheartedly

Why did he refuse the vaccine?

The teacher's comments were insensitive but I do think it's only fair for people to share that they haven't had such an important vaccine with future partners. If he's not going to have it ever I do think it's now your job to make sure he gets that message.

Does he need more resilience? Unfortunately the world isn’t about to change and while I appreciate you’ve struggled with the school your ds will have to learn to cope in the real world at some point.

Obviously, I meant deregister. I am at the mercy of my silly spellcheck.

Victoria Climbie. It happens.

So long as you have informed the school that you are deregistering to home educate, then you have done your duty.

You can ignore the school, you are not obliged to talk to them or meet with them, your son is an ex-pupil. The LA will be in touch with you at some point.

@ThePieceHallyou can jump down people's throats all you like but you are demonstrating to me exactly why thorough checks should be made before children are de registered. You can't blindly just take this as face value, nobody can. But it is quite difficult to fine families for non attendance, especially if medical appointments can be proven, and the poster has been fined twice. There is nothing wrong with asking challenging questions if it involves the safeguarding of children.

This with bells on ^ . HEd. Will only make matters worse for this child . Most parents are not equipped to HEd plus there is the isolation .

I don’t and I don’t know what is being implied, please can someone explain.

Khyra Ishaq, there was also another child in Wales but I can’t remember his name.

It's allowed but there is red tape; eventually it'll be done with. Good luck with the homeschooling and I hope your kid is ok.

Dylan Seabridge

How am I jumping down people’s throats?

I agree. I’d have that teachers back 100%. I feel in some cases parents can’t see beyond their own needs and their child’s needs. Luckily there are many adults in education who are there for the forgotten lot.