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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

does anyone occasionally get woken up in the middle of the night by their dp/dh trying to 'get it in' while your asleep?

242 replies

juicychops · 26/05/2009 19:36

my dp does this occasionally, the last time being 2 nights ago. its not something that bothers me and we've got an understanding ive basically told him it doesn't bother me as long as he doesn't expect any kind of cooperation (we are talking about 2-3am, not around 10pm!!)

does anyone else have this situation??

OP posts:
warthog · 26/05/2009 19:54

no.

juicychops - are you ok with this?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 26/05/2009 19:54

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warthog · 26/05/2009 19:54

sorry x-posted

dittany · 26/05/2009 19:55

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dittany · 26/05/2009 19:55

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
juicychops · 26/05/2009 19:59

its definately NOT rape or in any way in that league for us as we know what eachother would and would not like and we talk about it a lot.

he would never do it if he thought he would hurt me. if im a bit dry then it does wake me up so il sort that out for him and then depending how i feel either close my eyes again or get involved a bit.

OP posts:
raggedtrouseredphilanthropist · 26/05/2009 19:59

my ex used to do this too. I WOULD say no, and he would sulk. he had BIG problems...

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 26/05/2009 20:01

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flubdub · 26/05/2009 20:01

I agree, its not right.
Some men spend all night spiking drinks, and following women. And why?
To have sex with an unconscious woman.
Thats ILLEGAL !!!!

Original poster
juicychops · 26/05/2009 20:02

i have said no twice (on two separate occassions) as both times i had a cut down below that was sore and he stopped straight away.

kind of wish i hadn't started this thread now

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 26/05/2009 20:02

Why on earth does he want to do this and why on earth don't you mind?

Original poster
juicychops · 26/05/2009 20:03

i only posted cos i didn't think it was that unusual. obviously it is

OP posts:
Goober · 26/05/2009 20:03

No my DH doesn't rape me.
He loves and respects me!

flubdub · 26/05/2009 20:04

JUICYCHOPS - It sounds like you and your husband are more comfortable with each others boundaries. You know that if you said no to him, he would stop. It doesnt sound like the OP is happy with what her husband does, whereas you are ok with it.

flubdub · 26/05/2009 20:04

Oh CRAP!!! Didnt realise you were the OP

Sparkletastic · 26/05/2009 20:05

Juicychops is the OP

sorky · 26/05/2009 20:05

Er, no he doesn't.

Tbh he knows not to wake me at all before 6am or I'd rip him a new hole somewhere.

If I may be frank, that doesn't sound like a very healthy sex life you have there, neither his attempting to enter you whilst you're asleep or your responses to his behaviour.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 26/05/2009 20:05

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Sparkletastic · 26/05/2009 20:05

Cross posts

Is your name inspired by this marital delight JC?

dittany · 26/05/2009 20:06

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sweetkitty · 26/05/2009 20:08

I would kick him where it hurts if he tried anything like that sorry, do you sleep naked, my DH would have to get through about 3 layers of clothes as I am always freezing at night oh that and the baby that sleeps between us?

So you mean you are awakened by him entering you and then he actually thrusts and erm comes whilst you lie there then fall back asleep?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 26/05/2009 20:08

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MmeLindt · 26/05/2009 20:09

No.

I would not be at all happy if he tried this. If you and your DP have talked about it and you are ok with it then that is your decision. As long as you are ok with it and are not just going along with it to keep him happy.

Would he not prefer a willing and active participant?

flubdub · 26/05/2009 20:10

X pot Dittany

lottiebunny · 26/05/2009 20:11

I told my DP that he was welcome to wake me up this way. I love half awake sex. He never suggested it and has never taken my up on the offer. I wouldn't consider it as rape unless I hadn't previously consented.

Does no one wake up their DP with a blowjob on occasion?