does anyone occasionally get woken up in the middle of the night by their dp/dh trying to 'get it in' while your asleep?

[juicychops]

my dp does this occasionally, the last time being 2 nights ago. its not something that bothers me and we've got an understanding ive basically told him it doesn't bother me as long as he doesn't expect any kind of cooperation (we are talking about 2-3am, not around 10pm!!)

does anyone else have this situation??

True as well [exhausted agreeing with so many people!]

The key is what you are both genuinely happy with, I guess.

Reality - given that your exH used to rape you (and that's what it is, if you had already told him not to), then I can fully understand why you feel the way you do. Hope you are okay

I think, as we all pretty much agree, consent is of course the key issue here and some of us quite like this, while others don't. That is exactly as it sohuld be.

I just felt so sorry for the OP when a huge avalanche of people piled in telling her how it was all wrong.

HTTM: sinking to a new woman-hating low on this thread, I see.
Nationalflight, please ignore her bullshit. It is perfectly acceptable for people to sleep in the same bed without either of them feelig entitled to make sexual advances, especially if one person has said clearly that sex is not on offer. The bloke who did that to you was a dick. Though I would make the distinction between a dickhead who makes an unwelcome advance and stops when told to (there is, after all, a longlasting and pervasive mythology that all women 'want it really' and say no when they mean yes so a man's got to at least give it a try) - and the man who doesn't stop when told, or who uses force if there's resistance - ie an inept and annoying attempt to initiate sex is not 'rape' it's stupidity and crappiness.

I would be very angry with dh if he stuck his finger in my ear or eye too! I would find that incredibly invasive. However I wouldn't expect him to get any pleasure out of it (perhaps there are people who do - who knows!). For me the idea of dh using my body for sex is just generally crap, because I see sex as a mutually enjoyable activity. Now if the idea is to wake the other person up with your cock in them for their pleasure as a mutual fetish then that's obviously totally fine and up to them, each to their own on the sexual front so long as it is something they both enjoy. I just dislike the idea of putting up with something for the other person (and I hate being woken up full stop to be honest) I don't do any putting up in my sex life. I will occasionally indulge dh in something he likes, but I am the one choosing to do that and it is mutual. I don't thin he would be at all happy if I woke him up playing with his penis if he was asleep either. Surely you have to check if the other person is in the mood and receptive to your advances before you get going?

SG- flaming me again? You seem to take great pleasure from thinking you are somehow right about everything to do with men and sex. God knows why you think this, but you do put yourself on some sort of pedestal.

My comments have been "rated" as eminently sensible by other posters here- obviously I expected something from you, as everytime I post you flame me.

I have been very restrained in my comments about you and your views, but if you continue to push me like you are doing, then I will not hold back quite so much as I am sick and tired of your nastiness.

I agree with SG. If dismissing someone's being fondled whilst unconscious as a 'quick grope' (how would she know how 'quick' he was, she woke to his doing it?), labelling her a tease (because of course, sometimes a woman was just asking for it and therefore deserve to be 'groped') isn't misogynist I don't know what is.

What's even sadder is that you don't even recognise it as such.

NF made it clear they were sleeping in the same bed as friends only. If he couldn't control himself then he should have said, 'I can't do that' and slept on the couch.

HTTM: I am as entitled to express my opinions (including those of other people's posts) as you are. And when you continue to post unhelpful crap I will continue to point that out.

I agree with SGB and Expat. Leave NF alone!!

Thanks guys x

Btw...'My comments have been "rated" as eminently sensible by other posters here-' - who 'rated' your comments regarding my situation, please? I can't find that bit.

Mine used to take me from behind while I was washing up. Those were the days. There are always kids around now and we have a dishwasher.

I have heard that sitting on the washing machine during the spin cycle is fun, Spidermama - do dishwashers have a similar feature?

They don't have the motion element but certaily give out a fine heat.

i find the fact that he starts having sex with very disturbing!!
i have woken up to h2b touching me down there or playing with my nipples but if i dont wake up he leaves it and goes to sleep, if he tried to hve sex with me while asleep he would not be coming near me ever again
its just creepy

Gosh...very surprised at this thread. Ex dp used to do this all the time and I loved it. I'd usually be having a dream about someone like George Clooney at the time. If you're sexual partners, I don't see any issue. If you said to stop and he did, what's the problem. Very very odd...rape? God you people are all a bit alarmist. Maybe I've just been lucky to have non-violent partners..

You are married/in a relationship and usually have consensual sex when you are awake. Do you have to give "permission" at every single time you have sex when awake?

If there isn't a history of resisting when you are awake, the partner is going to assume that you wouldn't mind while asleep or half asleep.

If he hurt you deliberately, while trying to have sex (asleep or awake), than that sounds wrong. If he plays with you and you enjoy the attention and pleasure, I can't see why you would "cry rape" for the DP doing something good or pleasurable.

I guess each to their own, with clear communication about what goes and doesn't go. I personally would enjoy it if I got woken up having an orgasm.

juicy chops - been reading replies to your question and surprised. Seems everyone has perfect sex lives. In my experience this is not unheard of so I don't think you should feel the need to chop it off! Perhaps - if it is not something that offends you there is no problem. I have jumped on my DH when he was asleep before and he woke up not too bothered! Think people are being prudish and many experiences go on between coupkles that don't fit the accepted norm. It is definietly not rape. That is an extreme view and probably made ylou feel weird. I would if it had been said to me.