Should I be cross if DH went to lap dancing club?

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...and spent £60 on private dances (we aren't poor and he doesn't spend money on much that is frivolous).

Other people seem to think I should be cross but I can't see it. Am I being a mug? Is it a sign of disrespect?

He got a bit of female attention outside the marriage. He was consenting. They were consenting. I knew he was going there. There doesn't seem like there is a risk of him forming a relationship with the women but if a woman behaved that way with him in a regular nightclub that seems more of a threat to me.

He came home horny as hell and seemed like he had a good break from the stress of his job.

I am just watching a programme on Channel 4 which touches on this topic...

My view is that if you are ok with this, then that's fine, and you very strong.

I would have huge issues with this, but that's just me. I guess lap dancing clubs, do sell sex, even though it might not actually be physical contact.

what dittany said.

he blew £60 on that shit?

i'd be cross because of the money. what a waste.

dont quite see whats so 'strong' about being ok with your oh going to a brothel lap-dancing club,but i suppose thats the attitude these days

I've been to a lapdancing club with my dh, I had a private dance and they do get VERY close to your face.

Dh hardly ever goes (in fact last time was his birhday with me and some friends last year) but if he wanted to I have no issues with it whatsoever.

I went to a lapdancing club in Las Vegas - fookin' gutted - no bugger asked me to dance for them. Bastards.

Is it full moon tonight? First celery up the bum and now this!

Can't make my mind up on this one. But cause I'm bored.... I wouldn't like it if dh did this. Saw a docu on a lap dancer once, she didn't enjoy it, did it because she needed money to study and support her little girl. Hardly any of the girls do it because they enjoy it, that would be my problem. Also it's just so bloody seedy!

They don't seem to hate it enough to stop though do they?

celery up the bum?!was it being eaten by a hamster?

dr northerner - not in harrogate i hope

waaay to posh for that smut!

DrN

"Hardly ever goes"...???

I wouldn't call "last year" as "hardly ever goes".

I am a pretty liberal person with not many inhibitions (in the privacy of my own home).

But I would have a serious problem with DH wanting to have some other ladies tits rubbed in his face.

Ok, but why do men go to these places? Surely it's because they enjoy looking at these women and they must be imagining that they are having sex with them. I guess it's like porn, but taking it a step further. Maybe I am naive and have self-esteen issues, but that's what I have a problem with.

I use the word "lady" very loosely.

There are plenty of shittier jobs. COntract cleaning on less than the minimum wage, with no job security or sick pay, for instance. Late night shifts in fast food places with the added perk of being routinely abused by drunk arseholes, again for fuck-all money. It's not work that would suit everyone: anyone who hates the very idea shouldn't take such a job in the first place, but for many women who do it it's good money for working hours that fit in with their lives.

I suppose I should care more about the sexploitation angle but in reality, it's the seediness that bugs me.

Some people's husbands and fathers must go in there. Just glad it's not mine ...

The wine I could buy with 60 quid! A bottle of my fav champers and still have about £25 left over for wine.

Am I the only person who would divorce my dh if he did this? Frankly if he thought it was fine to pay screwed up girls to wave their fannies in his face he would not be someone I would want to be married to.how is it any different to visiting a prostitute? would you think it was fine if your daughter had this job? would you feel ok about the drunken slobbering oafs she had to get groped by?Go read Andrea Dworkin.

Theexmrsfederer - that's exactly it. It's not like going to the football, is it...

ERmexmrsfederer he went last January ie, jan 2007 and has not been since. That is hardly ever wouldn't you say?!

Butterfly - it was in Harrogate yes - there was uproar when it opened I can tell you.

Lot sof women have issues with this which is why lots of men lie.

hellymelly-no,you are not the only one.

I think the industry causes alot of problems and is sadly being normalised by our society. I don't agree with anything that objectifies women tbh. If you don't mind your DP paying £60 to have naked women all over him then I guess that's OK for you, but I sometimes wonder if some women are kidding themselves to try and seem liberal about it for some underlying reasons.