Should I be cross if DH went to lap dancing club?

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...and spent £60 on private dances (we aren't poor and he doesn't spend money on much that is frivolous).

Other people seem to think I should be cross but I can't see it. Am I being a mug? Is it a sign of disrespect?

He got a bit of female attention outside the marriage. He was consenting. They were consenting. I knew he was going there. There doesn't seem like there is a risk of him forming a relationship with the women but if a woman behaved that way with him in a regular nightclub that seems more of a threat to me.

He came home horny as hell and seemed like he had a good break from the stress of his job.

It can be good money, but only if you get the private dances. You have to pay to dance in the first place, apparently, then if you get private dances you can make that back and more.

It can be profitable and it's evening work so you can take the kids to school and back. But once you are in that job, you do seem to get trapped, hoping every night that you'll make enough to pay your way.

The girl I saw in the docu was trying to do a degree and had to have an evening job. Sometimes it didn't pay, but she kept going back because she kept thinking that the next night would, and when it did pay it could pay dividends, but she didn't enjoy it at all. Tried leaving, but got into debt so went back.

Hey, some men go to normal night clubs and get tits rubbed all over their faces without paying a penny you know.

you dont have to pay to dance but you have to pay a house fee! which is usually anything between £40 - £80 and is paid at the start of the night so if the club you are in is not busy you wont make anything/much.

i saw that programme but it doesnt mean that it is how it is for every one.

Those of you who are worried about the objectification of women in lapdancing clubs and the rest of the sex industry: how do you feel about the way women are objectified as mothers, carers, cleaners etc in every other aspect of life?

To answer the op.
I would only be cross if he went without me...

Hate the way women are objectified, hate it.

Also hate the silly tarts in nightclubs who rub themselves up men's dicks so that men, who only possess a brain in their cock, think they can treat all women like pieces of shit because that's how they behave.

MMJ surely it is less twattish to go to a nightclub than to go to a lapdancing club

Yup, less twattish. Most of the men in lapdancing clubs are smart suited businessmen, the ones in nightclubs are chavs.

Our society is pretty sick when girls as young as 8 aspire to be porn queens or page 3 girls. What sort of message do they get when they see/hear of these sex places? What sort of society encourages/accepts women mutilating themselves to look (arguably) better or younger for men?

It's funny that attitudes vary in different countries. Years ago, on a trip to Canada, I went to a strip bar in the middle of nowhere with a mixed group of friends -- one of them worked as a waitress there. The dancers were naked and pretty explicit, and all my friends (male and female) were watching, commenting on how good/bad they were, etc in a totally relaxed way. I just sat there feeling embarrassed and repressed and not knowing where to put my eyes.

I have never felt so English in my life!

I agree Dittany. I also always think it's abit weird when women brag that they went to a lap club with their DH. Ew. I think alot of women can't see the harm it does to women and children.

Not as much harm as a sexually repressive society does.

I would be very cross!!

DH went to works thingy coupla months ago and 14 out of the 17 men on the bus went to the town. Went to lap dancers,paid for private dances,cost a bloody fortune
One guy ended up getting a shag. So basically a knocking shop??

If my DH spent a penny on dances/anything else he would be divorced. End of.

I'm not bragging, I simply have a different opinion to you.

Agree dittany!!

DrN - I still love you!

I love you too Rhubs

Don't worry - I won't rub my fanjo in yuer face

My DH thankfully panders to/agrees with my thought on sleaze.

I do not want my DH having other womens (paid for or not) tits or fannys rubbed in his face. I also do not want any other women gyrating in/on his lap.