He’s met someone else 💔

[FajitaFriday]

Please help me. I’m breaking down. My partner and I have been having relationship problems for a while but after he came back to me in August I thought we were working on things.

We’ve been together 12 years. We have a 10 year old daughter. He’s my best friend my only friend.

Since Monday he’s been saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’ve begged and pleaded and promised everything but he’s been so cold and adamant that he doesn’t love me like he used to and it’s over.

Cut to tonight he comes back home and I start up crying and begging him to give me another chance but he wasn’t interested then I ask him if he’s met someone else AND HE SAID YES. He won’t tell me who she is. He won’t tell me where he met her. Apparently it’s been going on for 5 days and nothing has happened just talking. That means nothing to me, we’ve been loyal to each other our whole relationship even during breaks (about a week long before he comes back) in my eyes he might as well have fucked her.

I’m completely in shock. We’ve been here before and always managed to work things out over a week or two but never anything like this.

I don’t even know what else to write here I’m shaking and crying and just want to kill myself. And I just want him back so badly STILL.

Please help if you can I have no one else to turn to and I don’t know how to get through the next hour let alone the rest of my life without him.

Thank you for reading x

My exH had no friends, no social life, was WFH and had effectively become a recluse. It was suffocating, caused me overwhelming anxiety with the pressure of his expectations and foreboding for the future.

I did things the socially acceptable way round and got out before I had an affair, your DP behaviours is unacceptable in that respect (assuming he isn't telling the whole truth). But I think it was only a matter of time, the whole relationship is messed up and you need to start behaving like your DD is your priority and that includes holding yourself together in front of her, not allowing her to think she isn't worth you staying alive for, getting your life together to support her as a single mum and NOT going back to alcohol.

When you have begged him to come back each time, have you been sobbing and saying you want to kill yourself ?
Its tough, I know, but you can't make someone stay .

I know some have said he is horrible, I don't know, but it sounds like he may have kept trying to leave but then felt he had to come back?
He was right to take the children, they will have been scared hearing you screaming and sobbing. Ive been that child .

Until recently you have been drinking a lot . Is that a long term thing ?

Did he isolate you from people?

Like others have said, this onset healthy for you and your daughter. It's so hard I know, but get some therapy and look after yourself . Don't beg, if someone stays when you do that they don't really want to stay.

You're not pathetic, but this isn't a normal way to be feeling and reacting, especially when you have a child who needs to be your priority. I hope you can get some support, and I PROMISE you'll feel better again at some point.

It’s right your kids are away from all this. Get yourself together and then have your kids back.

Tbf it sounded bad for the dd to be home hearing the reaction from the op.

As others have said he’s the daughters father so also the legal parent. If a man was at home screaming and crying on the floor everyone on here would tell the woman to remove the child immediately. Same applies here. The daughter should not witness that. So her father has every right to remove his own daughter for her wellbeing.

I’m not filling her head with anything 🙄 couldn’t you tell from the tone of my post that him leaving is a good thing? I just meant the other woman won’t last. Jesus Christ.

She may last or she may not, but that doesn't mean he's going to want to return to the OP.

Which as you can see, she's desperate for him to do.

So no, I don't think you should encourage her to think that way.

Oh my god, I’m not 😂😂😂

No one wants a broken family for their DC but if the relationship is toxic like yours was it's better to be separate but both be good parents than being together and your DC seeing you argue a lot and you always having to beg him not to go. How bad you feel now won't last forever. Have some hot chocolate, a warm bath and get an early night. Tomorrow text you want your DD brought back home because she will be frightened and needs to know herum wants her and is ok. On Monday you can make a UC claim. When my first marriage broke up I was so upset and people told me I'd be better off without exh. At the time I couldn't envisage a life without him. 6 months later I felt a lot better and stronger and more in control. After more time I met someone else and I've been married to him for 23 years. I look back and get angry with myself for staying with exh even when he treated me so badly. I should have probably left 3 years before I did but I kept making excuses for him and giving him another chance until I found he'd cheated on me. That snappede out of victim and made me so angry after I'd been so good to him. You can do this OP. One day at a time.

Hi OP, I hope you’ve managed to speak to someone professional today and are doing ok. I used to react in a deeply unstable way to breakups too and I needed help and meds.