Ive just found out im pregnant by my eldest’s dad and I dont know what to do

[Weirdin]

I honestly dont know what to do with this and feel a bit stupid even typing it out. ive got 2 boys, 17 and 3, different dads, and ive just found out im pregnant again.

Me and my eldest’s dad split up when our son was 10. We just werent working as a couple anymore but we’ve always got on really well since. He’s a brilliant dad and we’ve never had the sort of messy breakup where you hate each other and argue over everything. We still help each other out and speak most days.

My youngest’s dad was abusive and that relationship was a whole different thing. It’s over now but it was a horrible time and my eldest’s dad honestly helped me so much through it. He’d have my eldest extra, bring shopping round, help me sort things out when I was struggling. He never made me feel like I owed him anything for it either. I know some people think our relationship is weird but we’ve always just been close.

Anyway my eldest had been away and his dad came round. We had a couple of drinks and ended up sat talking for hours like we used to. One thing led to another and we slept together. It wasnt planned and we havent really spoken about it properly since. We’ve both been acting fairly normal but I feel like there’s this massive thing sitting between us now.

I did a test yesterday because my period was late and its positive. Ive done another one this morning and thats positive too. I actually feel sick thinking about telling him. I know he’s a good dad and wouldnt abandon a child but I have no idea what he’d think about having another baby with me after all this time.

The thing is I dont even know how I feel about him now. I thought we were just friends and I definitely wasnt planning on getting pregnant again. But part of me keeps thinking about whether we could have worked if we’d tried again years ago. Then I feel daft because we’ve both had other relationships and we’ve been apart for ages.

I havent told anyone yet, not even him. I dont want to mess up the friendship we’ve got because he’s been one of the few people I can properly rely on. But I cant exactly keep this to myself for long.

Would you tell him straight away? And am I being ridiculous for wondering if this could turn into something more, or am I getting ahead of myself completely?

Omg!! Everyone on the termination ban wagon like thats the most easiest decision a woman can make, get a grip!!. First of all, tell him your pregnant and how your feeling because if he is as supportive as your saying then he is going to be your strength through this time and help you navigate the feeling and pregnancy. Secondly, put the pregnancy aside, you slept with a man you have already been with and had a baby with so of course its going to bring up all those old emotions and what ifs, so of course that has to be addressed.

You need to stop looking at this through rose coloured glasses & imaging/wishing/hoping for an outcome that just isn't there. You and him didn't work the first time. There's a reason for that. I think you need to be practical and realistic, not idealistic and whimsical.

If you want and can afford another baby, do it. But don't do it just because of some imagined scenario you have in your head.

She was happy to have sex. That is not the same as "happy to get pregnant" - I think you should take your anti choice anti women sentiment over to Trumps America, you'll fit in nicely.

First things first.

Do you want another child??

How can you be so sure it will be a mess.

i think you've got nothing to worry about OP. He's already shown himself to be a good dad, all you have to do is decide whether or not you're ready for a third child, because either way this guy will still be a part of your life, whether that stays as it is, or you become gradually closer over time. The only things I'd say is don't rush it and let it develop over time, and if you decide to keep the baby, don't automatically decide that means you need to be in a partnership with the dad. How does he treat your second child, because that ultimately would have to come into the decision of whether you become a family unit?

Before you say anything to anyone first decide if you want to keep the pregnancy. If you do decide to end the pregnancy, I wouldn't tell him at all.

Then decide if you actually want to try to have a relationship, would you if you weren't pregnant?

As others have said you need to seperate the pregnancy from the relationship. First get your head round the pregnancy then get your head round the relationship. Only then would I tell him (and personally I'd only tell him about the pregnancy if I wanted to keep it)

Take care OP xx

I would have a termination.