Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

He clearly does do casual sex if he’s sleeping with you on the second date. He doesn’t know what he’s “found” yet, it’s very early days and you don’t really know each other. The first flush can be lovely but it’s not real - you’re both still in your best behaviour. I’d proceed with great caution.

Does he need somewhere to live by any chance? Because the men that often do this have usually got financial issues and no stable housing. If they find a woman who can solve those problems they inexplicably fall in love almost instantly, in a way that has never, ever happened to them before.

I deleted my dating apps in the car park after meeting dh for the first time (had been messaging then talking on the phone prior) he deleted his before we even met in person! Fingers crossed for you op

😄 exactly this!
As well as any dodgy bloke with questionable intentions whether that’s accessing someone’s children, leeching off them, or just common abusers.

Lovebombing and this teenage level of intensity from a complete stranger has red flags all over it.

@StandingDeskDisco. yes sensible to protect yourself and dc but that’s ridiculous, I moved in with my now dh after 5 months and it’s been amazing ever since

Just enjoy it. Don’t ever analyse everything. Obviously, if he starts talking about sick relatives needing money or investment in his business, run. But until there’s an actual red flag, there’s no need to imagine them.

I hope it's true. You sound like a wonderful catch, you probably don't realise how fabulous you are.

Also don't believe a thing he says for now, watch what he does!

You have married, had two kids and divorced and restarted dating angaib all before you’re 30.

So you have something of a track history of moving fast

Maybe just pause?

I was engaged to my DH after six weeks, but we saw each other a lot. After first date there was a two week period where he travelled and had his kids over, but after the second date it seemed sealed. But. We did then see each other for every weekend after and a few nights a week, and we didn’t get married til a year later. And he never said all those things your man is saying. I knew he was excited to see me but by actions, this man doesn’t really know you does he?
But I never doubted if I was worth his attention!

Sounds a bit like a teenage romance which would make me wary given he's well into his 30's and i would find that a bit odd, but I can really understand the OP wanting him to be all the things he appears to be, in my younger years I'd have been very susceptible to feeling like that. It's human to want love, happiness and feeling that you mean the world to someone. I hope he is a good, decent man, but i'd suggest being catious

He had kids and you were engaged within 6 weeks of meeting him @mondaytosunday ?

He told me on the actual second date that he doesn’t do casual sex... and then you had sex. There's no planet on which sex on the second date isn't casual. A man that hot hasn't got to 37 by not having casual sex yet making this major exception for you. Likewise, I'm sure you are very nice to look at and to be with, but it's also a stretch from him to be giving it the 'I can't believe you're available' when you're divorced with 2 young DC. It's not that hard to see why a youngish single mum would have her hands full and be getting past her divorce, so as with the casual sex line, it feels like he's leaning too far into the lovebombing category to really be trusted.

Keep your wits about you. If he turns out to be some rare gem, great. Chances are against it though, so stay smart and look out for yourself and especially your kids.

I'm mid 50s and married so out of the dating game but it seems to be a very Americanised system now where people seem to date multiple people for about 6 months before having 'the conversation' and then becoming exclusive.

I couldn't hack all that. In my day (creak) we used to meet someone, go on a date or two and know by that point if you liked them and then you'd just be going out with them.

Maybe he's just like that?

Disclaimer: I haven't RTFT yet so he could be a cat fingerer for all I know but why does someone being keen have to be a red flag all the time?

Obviously keep your wits about you but don’t ruin a good thing with generalised suspicion.

I’m still crazy about my DH after 8 years and 2 kids, and all our early dating behaviour could have been described as mutual love bombing verging on stalking.

Sometimes it just is that amazing!

No, he is a successful business owner and has a (very nice) house, 2 good cars on drive

He could’ve rented it all but I highly doubt it. I can google who his dad is, for example

So you’ve already been to his home?

This.
what a sad cynical outlook on life..

You are sleeping together, I would expect to be exclusive already.

Just Ben very careful and don’t lend him any money lol … lots of programmes on TV about this sort of thing, crazy how easily people get suckered in

Having experienced first-hand the whole 'too good to be true' thing, and the person turning out to be a pathological liar, I would run a mile if someone said this to me on date 2. I wouldn't agree to exclusivity that soon either. This has red flags all over it imo, sorry.

Doesn't do casual sex, but had sex with you in the second time of seeing you?

LOL 😂

Exclusive used to be the default anyway.

You’d start dating someone and it’d be the automatic assumption that you weren’t dating anyone else at the same time.

When I hear about online dating I’m so grateful that I settled down before it happened. So many rules. Nothing wrong with being exclusive, who can really give their attention properly to more than one person anyway?It shouldn’t be a massive and meaningful step in a relationship!

Why would a 37 year old man date a woman with two young children when there is no shortage of younger childless women? I don’t know any man who would prefer to date a woman with children over a single one, it’s so restrictive for one thing. He sounds too good to be true I’m afraid.

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity?

Where are you getting that from?

Well, maybe 5-6 years is a bit much.

But no way would I be moving a man into my house with my kids in a hurry.