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Original poster

Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

597 replies

Heyandheytoday · 08/10/2026 15:04

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

OP posts:
grinandslothit · 14/10/2026 23:15

I hope you have blocked him because the likelihood of these types showing up later with some excuse is high

You mentioned dates with him but I didn't read anything that there was much of a date other than going for a walk and going back to his place for a shag?

Seajaye · 15/10/2026 07:49

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 14/10/2026 20:49

RTFT

Show quote history

Don't understand what you mean. OP learned that he wasn't Mr Perfect or the type id person she hoped he was. At least she learned ithat sooner rather than later on but when someone tells you something during the very early part of dating that doesn't appear to stack up as genuine ( breaking up with previous long term partner after 6 years because he had met her at age 30 and considered that age too young) it's a potential red flag, or at least naivity, for any one hoping for an exclusive relationship rather than just a sexual encounter .

Seajaye · 15/10/2026 07:51

Heyandheytoday · 14/10/2026 20:54

I won’t be messaging anything further. I understand why some ladies here would want to be he just isn’t worth the time or me wondering what he will reply. What’s done is done.

I was wondering if I could ask for you advice on some other subtle things I picked up on during our last encounter.. Before meeting me, he tried 3 times! To get me to push the date forward. I can’t remember exacts but for example I said let’s meet on Wednesday and he said Tuesday morning if we could change it. I already explained why this wouldn’t work. Yet he (very sweetly in a messaging sense) asked yet again! And then again, the next time he tried to get me to change the time? Saying he just couldn’t wait to meet me and was just too excited so wanted to do so ASAP. It’s like he wasn’t taking no for an answer for an earlier date or time, and I started to feel a bit awkward like I was creating excuses as to why! But I had already told him from the off why not…

During our last meet up, during sex, sorry TMI but I was in a position and it sort of made a funny noise. I was so embarrassed, as it’s a new partner type thing 🫣 anyway, I sort of subtly laughed and went to move, and he firmly stopped me from changing position. I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I was enjoying it and at the time, it felt like reassurance that he wasn’t embarrassed by it or disgusted

Lastly, he had some post it notes on his bathroom mirror. His hand writing was tiny and I don’t need glasses but couldn’t actually see properly so after a wee and washing my hands, asked him what they were. He said he was studying something, but looked slightly, ever so slightly, annoyed that I’d asked. When pressed on what he was studying, I can’t remember his exact wording but I saw a flicker of annoyance cross his face and then he went onto say he’s got to get sorted with that soon as an exam is coming up. Then changed the subject

All subtle red flags, right?

I also wanted to say I am no longer upset at the situation. The sex was really good. But that’s it. Some parts of him did make me cringe thankfully and it goes to show, your gut is often right

All signs of having a controlling nature.

591A · 15/10/2026 08:05

I think OP handled this really well. She allowed herself to have fun and enjoy it but she did have one eye open the whole time.

Also OP, I agree that blocking him is a good idea. These types feed off attention and when he’s finishing doing the same thing to another woman, he’ll likely be back.

PinkEasterbunny · 15/10/2026 08:29

I'm so sorry to read all this OP. But you always wondered if he was too good to be true.

PerhapsPerhapsMaybe · 15/10/2026 09:30

Sometimes they need to cosplay as a decent person because they don’t want to face the fact that they are, in fact, an arsehole

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/10/2026 13:05

All the things you mention above are controlling

and yes apart from a walk and then a date (maybe a meal /drink) then ssx so not even a relationship

I will say maybe next time wait for sex. If they are a decent man they will be happy to wait and respect you

WhatWouldYourHeroSay · 17/10/2026 17:31

It does sound wonderful and let’s hope he’s genuine. You sound lovely and mustn’t run yourself down because as other people have said it makes you vulnerable so to speak .
He might be a bit neurodivergent and feels things strongly so doesn’t want to lose you.
However- PLEASE be careful. He could be anyone. He might do or have done anything in his past.
This is also really horrible to have to say but if he isn’t genuinely a good person he could be sounding out what you have that he wants access to and Im so sorry but that could include the children.
Anyway, let’s hope and assume he is wonderful. All the same DONT rush into ANYTHING- even if he has really pressing reasons. DONT give him any money, don’t tell him if you have any or access to any. What job do you do?
Also throw a male relative or good friend into the conversation asap - see how he reacts.
We are all rooting for you! X

TheSmellOfSea · 17/10/2026 17:39

WhatWouldYourHeroSay · 17/10/2026 17:31

It does sound wonderful and let’s hope he’s genuine. You sound lovely and mustn’t run yourself down because as other people have said it makes you vulnerable so to speak .
He might be a bit neurodivergent and feels things strongly so doesn’t want to lose you.
However- PLEASE be careful. He could be anyone. He might do or have done anything in his past.
This is also really horrible to have to say but if he isn’t genuinely a good person he could be sounding out what you have that he wants access to and Im so sorry but that could include the children.
Anyway, let’s hope and assume he is wonderful. All the same DONT rush into ANYTHING- even if he has really pressing reasons. DONT give him any money, don’t tell him if you have any or access to any. What job do you do?
Also throw a male relative or good friend into the conversation asap - see how he reacts.
We are all rooting for you! X

See all is your friend here. You're a bit late to the party 🤣

591A · 17/10/2026 18:57

WhatWouldYourHeroSay · 17/10/2026 17:31

It does sound wonderful and let’s hope he’s genuine. You sound lovely and mustn’t run yourself down because as other people have said it makes you vulnerable so to speak .
He might be a bit neurodivergent and feels things strongly so doesn’t want to lose you.
However- PLEASE be careful. He could be anyone. He might do or have done anything in his past.
This is also really horrible to have to say but if he isn’t genuinely a good person he could be sounding out what you have that he wants access to and Im so sorry but that could include the children.
Anyway, let’s hope and assume he is wonderful. All the same DONT rush into ANYTHING- even if he has really pressing reasons. DONT give him any money, don’t tell him if you have any or access to any. What job do you do?
Also throw a male relative or good friend into the conversation asap - see how he reacts.
We are all rooting for you! X

Why do people comms t without reading the thread…or at least reading all of OP’s posts? 🙄

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/10/2026 21:01

Who knows @591A

how’s your weekend going @Heyandheytoday

Timeforachange26 · 17/10/2026 21:36

SirChenjins · 08/10/2026 17:16

Seems perfectly reasonable. Why on earth would you move a man into your home when you have 2 young children before then?

Show quote history

Maybe if they got married and wanted to have more children

Grendel7 · 17/10/2026 22:22

Heyandheytoday · 08/10/2026 15:04

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Why did you agree to see someone who wants exclusivity if you don't?
Ridiculous post.

ForCalmScroller · 17/10/2026 22:34

Sounds like bullshit to me... speaking as a bloke here

ForCalmScroller · 17/10/2026 22:42

Ah i just read it all, sounds like you came on to strong and something you said gave him the ick...
Never mind, better luck next time

iowgirl1 · 17/10/2026 23:35

Erm, read the posts - it was HIM who came on too strong. Turned out he was a complete arse - lucky escape for the OP.

Prycejosh1987 · 17/10/2026 23:35

I think exclusive after two dates is beautiful. Hes marriage material.

Cokeandfudge · 17/10/2026 23:39

ForCalmScroller · 17/10/2026 22:42

Ah i just read it all, sounds like you came on to strong and something you said gave him the ick...
Never mind, better luck next time

You sound like an inadequate loser like him.

Sussexserpents · 18/10/2026 07:54

Prycejosh1987 · 17/10/2026 23:35

I think exclusive after two dates is beautiful. Hes marriage material.

Rtft!! He’s now a ghost 👻

Theresawaytobehonestandkind · 18/10/2026 14:50

Cokeandfudge · 17/10/2026 23:39

You sound like an inadequate loser like him.

Show quote history

I know, right. This should be females only on this forum

Happysnappydays · 18/10/2026 16:02

I'm wondering about the post its - they weren't affirmations were they? "You are a confident strong man" type of thing. As that would be something he might have been embarrassed about!

591A · 18/10/2026 17:15

ForCalmScroller · 17/10/2026 22:42

Ah i just read it all, sounds like you came on to strong and something you said gave him the ick...
Never mind, better luck next time

Goodness, you’re early. It’s not half term yet.

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