Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

There's a difference between asked general questions about your relationship history by someone genuinely curious about what makes you tick and being quizzed over the details, challenged when dates don't match or being asked to give your 'body count'.

He's insecure and will probably end up controlling and unpleasant. He is showing you who he is, pay attention!! He is judging you and is going to use what you tell him to make you feel bad/ paint you as less desirable/ less trustworthy.

Tell him it's none of his business. His response to being told no will tell you a lot about him.

How dare he call you promiscuous and say he wouldn’t be with you ‘had he known’.

And negging and undermining you yet again assuming a break up was because if things ‘he didn’t like about your past.

OP, one casual conversational enquiry is one thing.

He is asking in Order to criticise you, de/value you, judge you. And the calling you a liar but just compounds it.

He is a nasty controlling misogynist and in your shoes I would dump him fast.

Asking for details is odd. You can know someone sexually without discussing number of sexual partners/in depth I did x y z with Mr Smith etc by simply discussing likes and dislikes, boundaries and exploring etc.

I've never been asked by my husband and I've never asked him how many partners as frankly it's in the past and I don't care and neither does he as its our commitment and communication with each other that matters.

Then it’s over. Time to move on.

@2026dreams

I think you should enroll on the free online course “The Freedom Programme”

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

He is being “The Dominator” - how dare he accuse you of being promiscuous! Who the hell does he think he is?

Is he widowed or divorced? If divorced, maybe his ex-wife got sick of his jealousy, judgmental attitude and (wrongful) accusations…but of course she is the ‘crazy ex-wife’ who (in his mind) cheated on him and was a slut. He probably admires Andrew Tate.

Get rid of him today….but still do The Freedom Programme so you will learn how to avoid men like this in the future.

This is 100% control and could end up being used against you. I would bet he is a narcissist or has narcissistic behaviour and wouldn't be surprised if he is or will become coercive in other questions. I have neen through this. Please get rid asap before you get in too deep.

Urgh. My friend’s bf dumped her at 9 months pregnant because he asked her to list everyone she’d slept with and then didn’t like the answer. Avoid.

I suppose, for me at least, it's just getting to know someone. If they were getting fixated/insecure obviously that'd be a problem, but I suppose having a warts-and-all knowledge of each other is comforting to me.

Being with someone and thinking to myself "oh no I can't tell them that" (whether it's sex/drugs/fidelity, whatever) would make me really uncomfortable in the relationship.

The worst case scenario is I tell someone something and they say "Ew, no." and leave. Or, as in OPs case, they say "If I knew that, I wouldn't have liked you", and then I'd probably leave.

That's just me though, it doesn't mean anyone else has to work that way! 😀

I feel peace tonight since he stopped talking to me

This feels like a normal conversation to me. The whole, you are sleeping with every person that person has ever slept with thing. So you share lists. It’s a normal part of dating and safer sex, at least it was the last time I was dating.

Please block and forget. You've had a lucky escape.

This

Not normal, he has unhealthy issues, more problems will arise. Get rid. Protect yourself. This will not end well.

Definitely split up with him. Its possessive and controlling and not healthy at all. It will only get worse and he will use your past to throw in your face and accuse you of things at any opportunity he can.

Oh OP, please dump him. He’s controlling and manipulative, the next step is abusive. You need to leave this relationship, he’s no good.

Get rid of him.

No fuss, no drama.

A simple "This relationship isn't working for me anymore, wish you all the best for the future"

Be done with him.

I hope you've told him that, and blocked every form of communication?

The use of the word promiscuous is, in itself, a red flag for me. It's judgemental. I've been with DH for 30 years, and he's never asked me how many people I've slept with and, this long afterwards, I wouldn't even remember.

Now block him you're too good for this nonsense
You might expect this from an 18-year-old but certainly not a 50 year old man

Tell him to fuck off and get a new more mature boyfriend who is not an absolute wanker. It’s not normal no, and none of his business.

Well lucky for him, he doesn’t have to date you because you can get rid of him!

He’s awful and controlling.

Say goodbye weirdo alert.

These days STI tests exist.

ETA And dating apps. And one night stands. What good is a list when you don't know anyone on it, let alone what STIs they have?

Nah. Anyone who asks doesn't deserve to know, because they'll only use it for judgment.

I tend to answer 'that's between me and them' or 'somewhere between 1 and thousands'. Shuts them up nicely.

All good advice here
I had this with my ex partner, I stupidly told him 1 piece of information about 1 person and he used it against me as a reason why he couldn’t get close, why he never wanted to help me out etc.
Weve just ended after 8 years because he says he will never be able to forget it but I’m realising that it’s just an excuse to blame everything on me. It’s been very emotionally damaging