Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

I reallyyyyy hate that 'body count' has become a mainstream phrase for number of people a person has had sex with. He's obviously an insecure loser. No answer you give him will be the 'right' answer.

The phrase ‘body count’ is just grotesque.

Why does he want to know? Is he going to dump you if your answers are "wrong"? Or use it to make you feel bad and belittle you? Or get off on it?

I have never and will never divulge this kind of info to any partner or potential partner and would bin anyone who thought it important enough to ask. Just the fact he uses the phrase 'body count' should be enough to bin him off without ceremony.

He says it’s because I was promiscuous and that because I told him about my first boyfriend meaning my first long term relationship not some teenage thing I am a liar

I feel fucked off to be honest, no answer will be enough for him he will just accuse me of lying
I genuinely cannot remember some of the things that long ago

Ditch him. Controlling weirdo.

Errr has he told you his?

just fyi my partner and I (almost 20 years together) have never had this conversation. Good luck lovely, I’d put this one back x

Ah, as I expected, he used the 'bodycount' word. I would heed the red flags and run for the hills.

If you are old enough to have a sexual history going back 27 years, you are old enough to know this is not normal and he does not need to know.

So many women have posted on here about partners who have used their sexual history as a weapon against them - please don't be another one.

FWIW, DP and I are both old enough to have sexual histories going back 40+ years. Over time, obviously references to past relationships have come up, and we have met a few of each other's ex-partners, but if he had ever asked me bluntly in the early days exactly how many men I had slept with, let alone details of who and when and what we did, he would rapidly have become an ex-partner himself.

High number will =slut
Low number will =lying.

My god. He sounds pathetic and horrible. I'd dump someone who talked to me like that in a heartbeat.

He's already calling you a liar? Why are you still with him?

He just cancelled himself. Block and move on

He says it’s because I was promiscuous

Bad BAD sign. Not only is he controlling, he's a judgemental twat about your sexuality when you didn't even know him.

Give this a year a two and you'll be a shadow of yourself, accused of shagging every man who comes within ten feet of you.

Update makes him even worse. Dump him.

Really, just end it. He’s not a guy that respects you and, if you tell him, he’ll use it against you. Sorry.

You are right to be angry. This is completely wrong and out of order. He doesn’t have the right he’s playing mind games with you.

You already get it, that no answer will be good enough for him. He's already accused you of lying and being promiscuous, before he even knows anything.
If you say anything at all, it will become a stick to beat you with.
Do not pander to it.
Get rid of him.
You'll save yourself years of unhappiness.

Please, please, be kind to yourself because this man is not being kind to you. Do not even try to remember. He doesn’t have a right to know he doesn’t have a right to ask and he doesn’t have a right to accuse you of lying about something that is none of his business and that is weird to ask. This is a set up. Can you see that it’s a set up? It’s all a set up so that he can talk about how his Love is so pure and you are so tainted and he thought you were someone you weren’t and blah blah blah blah.. the advice you’re getting is good. This is not the man for you. He is not the one.

Not normal, and weird that he cares. Huge red flags, he would not be for me.

No it's grim and weird. It's none of his business.
If he won't accept that and apologize profusely for asking then he should be binned!

Why does he think he has the right to demand this and why do you think you should give him this information?

Some people (men and women) do want to know, maybe for religious/personal belief reasons, some want to know to weigh up whether you're compatible, as in they only want to be with someone with similar views on casual sex, some make decisions on condoms based on this (as in, they would be happy not to use them with a new partner who only had one sexual partner years ago and since had checks, but wouldn't be happy with someone who has had lots of recent partners), and some people really don't want to be with a virgin/anyone who only has sex in committed relationships.
You don't have to agree with all, or any, of this. It's absolutely fine to say that you don't want to say, and that you don't feel you're compatible based on your different opinions on this, and leave.

He has done this, and says he thought I was someone else and if he had known what I was like he wouldn’t have dated me

Ofc it isn’t normal. He belongs in the bin 🗑️

Known what you was!! That's full on nutcase.