Boyfriend can’t accept my past

[2026dreams]

My partner wants to know about my sexual past and everyone I have slept with, is this normal ? He wants to know details of people I slept with 27 years ago

Honestly he's probably been following some crazy manosphere/alpha crap online too much if he's even asking you "your bodycount".

He is not worth it and will only get worse with more and more sexist and misogynistic behaviour.

Check out Will Hitchin on instagram/Facebook he's good at tearing videos by this type to shreds but you will probably recognise some of the behaviours.

To put things into context I have been with my husband for 16 years got together mid 20s after uni and travelling etc, he's never once asked how many people I slept with nor me him. It doesn't form any part of our relationship. We know about important relationships and discussed boundaries.

Not normal and I hope not happening.
Dont tell him. And if he can’t accept that and you, get rid of him. Creepy.

My ex husband was like this, bizarre and none of his business. Red flag, get rid.

Bless your heart. Now no doubt he has you in a trap feeling bad. Feeling like you accidentally tricked him. Trying to prove that you’re a good person. Trying to prove that you’re not somehow deviant. This is all textbook stuff sadly. The person who said well some people care, that’s probably a conversation you should have before you get into a relationship and they also need to explain how much they care and why. It’s not something you can do after your established relationship and then use as a weapon as other people have said. Sad to me, he set you up and now he’s using it to hurt you, to make it clear that you’re not as good as him. I really feel for you. I hope you have the strength to walk away. When somebody shows you who they are, you really really do need to believe them. He wants to hurt you. God knows why but someone who uses that stuff to make themselves feel better and superior to you is really messed up and I can promise you it is not going to be worth it and it will not stop.

He has done this, and says he thought I was someone else and if he had known what I was like he wouldn’t have dated me

What you were like? what, that you didn't jealously guard your purity until Sir Lancelot came along to sweep you off your feet?

There's an easy answer to that and it involves the words 'Good bye then, door's over there..'

I’d do a Claire’s law on him. Massive red flag

The truth is that he is someone else and not the person you thought he was. Now that he has told you who he is - a judgemental, intrusive, controller - listen to him.

And dump him.

So many people have said it on here don’t tell him. Simply do not tell him if he can’t accept that then he can’t accept a boundary, which in itself is very important informationand that again is showing you what a toxic partner choice he is.

And presumably if you’d known he was going to turn into a bit of a twat you wouldn’t have dated him either ! Why are you even trying to remember? Wtf is wrong with you that you would even entertain this bellend? Just shut him down , ‘ either shut up or fuck off dave” should do it . Seriously dont give this any head space because no it’s not normal for normal people .

It's a pity he did......
Look, you're better off without this knob.

How old is he? because if you're talking about 27 years ago I guess you're at least in your mid 40s?

He sounds like an insecure and deeply unpleasant adolescent.

Dump him. He’s a misogynistic bastard.

Does he openly share what his "bodycount" is by the way, I bet he doesn't whilst wanting to know all about you!

No good will come of sharing this information, he will just use it against you and just smacks of someone who is controlling and possessive.

He is over 50, he was married a long time whereas I have had several shorter relationships

The only use for Claire's Law in this situation is to check that he doesn't have the potential to be dangerous after she dumps him, as this is the only appropriate action for OP to take.

Well, if he’s over 50, he’s got absolutely no excuse. I don’t care how many relationships he’s had or how many you had. This is absolutely not normal. Obviously you do recognise that or I don’t think you would be here but it’s a bit worrying that something inside you means you still need back up from other people. Please don’t let him convince you that he’s the sane one because he really is not. If he thinks he’s made a mistake, then he’s not seeing the value in you and hence he does not deserve you. As others have said, get rid.

I think “DTB, dump him, leave him” etc gets thrown around on here far to often, but in this case I 100% agree, especially after your replies I’m sorry to say.

My ex did this to me; he was utterly obsessed with my 'history '. It culminated in him hitting me whilst I was pregnant. Get rid of this loser, I implore you; it will not end well. You will have years of this interrogation, and he will become more and more abusive. Don't do it.

I only read your post title and was catapulted back 33 years to the most abusive relationship I’ve ever been in. Nothing physical, but he made me feel like absolute shit for things I had absolutely no control over- like the past.

Get rid- do it now.

Is he a 'sex is for marriage' type or is he just peeved that you didn't save yourself for him and his wonderful cock?

Either way, don't bother dissecting it. Get rid.

It's Clare's Law.

See objectively I know it’s completely mental but I can’t seem to stop justifying myself
thankfully we don’t live together and he is away with work at the moment

He’s in his 50’s & behaving like that? Utter nonsense. He knows what he is doing!

I bet you can expect questions about what you did and who you saw when he comes back. What with you being promiscuous and everything.

Honestly, are people still throwing that slur around? it sounds like the sort of thing DM used to come out with for any woman who had more than one boyfriend in her lifetime,.

Try harder .