I am completely shell-shocked and running on no sleep. I've been with a man (44) for 5 years. I thought he was a divorced single dad living with his parents due to debt. The reality has just exploded and it is a total horror show.
- He met me on a dating app claiming he was single/divorced. He has kept me completely isolated from his home, parents, and workplace for 5 years. I never even had his physical address, and after he kept cancelling and postponing my meeting his parents these past few months - he’s finally admitted last week they have no idea I exist.
- He also admitted he lied about where his parents actually live in Cheshire just to make them sound wealthier than they are.
- He completely hid the fact that he has a second son (9 years old) from me for 5 whole years, and only just dropped that bombshell. I was only aware he had a 14 year old son.
- He claims his wife (ex wife as he told me) tragically died of terminal illness (breast cancer) in May. He flashed a quick snippet photo of a death certificate to me where I only saw the date, no name last week when it all came to a complete head.
- He is now spinning a tragic story about becoming a "widowed dad" to care for his two sons, but now wants to start afresh and wants me to stage a fake "accidental park meeting" to introduce our kids and lie to them about our 5-year timeline.
- He let slip his debts were caused by a gambling addiction, and the police were called to his house last October because debt collectors were pounding on the door. He claims his late wife cut him out of the will and put the house in a trust for the kids because her mother hated him.
whilst not admitting he was having an affair these past years, he has now said
he was in a loveless sexless marriage where they agreed to do the best for the kids when young and live separate lives. It sounds like a complete and utter lie and itis clear he was a fully married man who has been living with his wife and kids in the family home this entire time, and he only used me, manipulated me in some sick game.
He is currently acting completely normal on calls, aggressively trying to book a weekend getaway for us next weekend, and telling me he "needs my support going forward”. I am mid 40s and reeling from everything that’s come to light the past few days. He has always caled me every day, he was always lovely, fun and seemed so normal when we were together. my trauma-bonded brain is struggling to know what to do next. Please give me the brutal, honest truth I need to hear.