Partners staying over

[StarClouds]

If you have your children full time and started dating again at what point did you feel comfortable having them over when your kids are in bed? Im thinking around 6 months?

I didnt begin a relationship when I left prison. We were already committed to each other before I left. I came out probably 8-10 months after we were "official".

Not yet no, school hours are fine but they are limited so you can’t really progress a relationship that way, it’s a natural step in getting to know someone more by being around them more. My kids don’t see their father so there is never going to be a free evening or weekend so how else is it suppose to progress then eventually he will meet the kids.

That thread was from weeks ago. Some people asked if id do a part 2 and I said to just use that one.

But that's a whole other thread. You've tried to use that here, in a thread that isn't mine, to challenge my opinions. Can't you see what that says about your character?

But all the info I have posted on this thread is ALL info you posted today, this morning! On you AMA spent 3 years in prison thread

I posted it because it might explain why you are being the most vocal of a small minority saying that this is no biggie at all and the Op should go for it. You started a relationship with someone, fell pregnant and moved in with someone after less than 2 months out of prison. So your perspective on relationships and timings is naturally going to be very different than the majority 🤷‍♀️

Yes but the fact that you'd try to bring up my past hwre to discredit what are my opinions shows your character.

So because I had a baby with a man I was commited to for at least 10 months before I conceived and I went to jail, my opinions do not count. What exactly are you saying here?

It isn’t about discrediting, it’s about context. You obviously have a vested interest in saying this is fine, otherwise you will need to do some introspection in to whether yours was. Your very frequent posting on this thread suggests it has struck a nerve.

Indeed

The OP looks positively Victorian in her approach compared with @Lexibletheflexible

Bull shit
on the other thread you said that he wrote to you whilst you were in prison (you were in a relationship with someone else at the time) and from there the relationship developed via letters whilst you were in prison!!

I am not trying to discredit you

I am explaining why you say have the very staunch view you are conveying on this thread

Yes but I knew him before prison because we are from the same area

Ive known him since secondary school in fact.

You knew him sure but you were with an another man. And then About midway through my sentence, he wrote to me and we kept in touch. He visited a couple of times and then when I came out, we started things properly. Then I got pregnant so we moved in together. - within 8 weeks.

As I say - @StarClouds looks Victorian compared to this scenario

Yes so we weren't strangers before I went to jail. About midway through my sentence, he wrote to me and we've been pretty much in daily contact ever since then.

with a man I was commited to for at least 10 months before I conceived and I went to jail,

Via letter writing in prison and a couple of prison visits?

Yes. That is why i phrased it as "start things properly" when I got out. You see, in those situations, you can only really look back in hindsight and decide when things really started, or if you were really committed when you said you'd be. I think nigh on 20 years later, the fact we are still together and have followed through on what we said we would means that we were indeed committed to each other when we agreed exclusivity and a shared future back when I was in jail.

You can't say for sure in the moment or for how long things will be as they are. 2 decades on, I think it is safe to say we were serious from the start.

How did you get a DBS check? Did you need one?

Bizarre. Getting out of prison and then within 8 weeks getting pregnant and moving in with a man that you started up a “relationship” via letters whilst you were languishing at her majesty’s pleasure - and you simply can’t even say “yeah, it was pretty quick 😆 “

Your version of “official” was based on prison letters and a couple of visits in a prison hall

As in my AMA

Getting pregnant was soon after my release. our relationship was well established, though. How long has your longest relationship lasted?

If the OP follows my path, she will still be with the guy in the late 2040s

Bloomin heck we’re going around in circles

Your “well established” is letters and a couple of prison visits.

You win the prize for the most patronising post of the day.