Partner going away with attractive 22 year old girl. Is it a bit weird or am I just being jealous/insecure.

[cheeseandhamtoastie42]

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

I'm not the jealous type but I probably would feel a bit uncomfortable about this too.

Do you know this other woman? Have you met her?

Have you had any reason up to now to feel uncomfortable about their relationship?

Nope, I wouldn't be comfortable with that. How exactly does he feel it's beneficial to his business and why for three weeks? Is he paying for her too? That's quite a hit on his company - two long haul return flights and two (hopefully) rooms for three weeks.

Is there any chance you can accompany them?

Yeah I wouldn’t like this.

LTB, the temptation will likely be too much for the poor sex starved man while away from you........

Can you provide a bit more info. What sort of business is it that it’s not established enough to have an office space, and that they need to go away on business for an unusual amount of time. More than 2 weeks for a business trip is unusual.

Do you understand why he says it’s essential for the business?

No never met her. She just seemed to materialise out of nowhere. No discussion forewarning, nothing.

Obviously she’s a woman not a girl, not sure why I wrote that. Annoyed with myself!

He wants to market his services to particular industries. Says the business isn’t doing well despite having two employees and going on regular long haul work trips.

It’s web design. It’s a fairly new business. He goes away a lot. He likes to have a few days/a week for work stuff then he spends the rest of the time doing more touristy stuff.

I think it’s perfectly fine to feel like an insecure girlfriend in this situation.

I’m slightly curious as to what he does for a living, if he works from his dining room, and now needs an extended trip abroad.

You either trust him, or you don ‘t. I’d be suspicious as well. If nothing has happened yet, the temptation is there.

Has he not invited you to join him for the non working periods?

It kind of depends what he does and why this trip is important. If he’s displaying at a tonne of trade shows across Asia that’s different to them deciding to do a strategy retreat in a Thai beach resort.

I just put an update above. I don’t trust him tbh he’s lied and gaslit a lot in the past, especially about trips. He’s secretive about his life and withholds a lot of information.

Sounds like a jolly. Nowadays, businesses don’t” respond to cold callers. Has he arranged to meet with these business, or does he just turn up?

I don't think you are being jealous or insecure OP. You are being realistic.
Your partner is already spending more one-on-one time with your partner in his own home than I assume you and he do. And now he is going on a working holiday alone with her. You would be naive not to expect a close relationship developing between them.

Edited to say in the light of your update that you are definitely right not to trust him and perhaps you should be ending your relationship with a man you don't trust.

Never!

Yes, just saw that. We posted at the same time.

Sorry- we crossposted. Yes that is suss as fuck.

I would not feel comfortable, I imagine if I went a away one on one for a few weeks with an attractive twenty something my DP would also be uncomfortable.
Saw your update: ditch him off

Are these trips costing more than he’s earning? I know you have to speculate to accumulate, but is this business model actually working?

What did he do before? Why did he go self employed? How long has he been self employed?

If he spends most of his time with her, in his home, why are you concerned about them going away? If he wants to shag her he has plenty of opportunity during the week!!

He would not be happy if I did the same but he has massive double standards!

It’s a work trip. Why are you with him if you don’t trust him?

I’m concerned about the whole situation tbh. I think the trip has just crossed that line a bit for me.

I wouldn't be happy, as a young female employee, to have to work alone with my boss in his house. The whole setup shows that he doesn't really have good boundaries or good judgement. Either work remotely or, if a shared working space is unaffordable, then the business isn't particularly viable.

That's reason enough to ditch him. I can't stand men who don't understand the position they put women in.