Partner going away with attractive 22 year old girl. Is it a bit weird or am I just being jealous/insecure.

[cheeseandhamtoastie42]

Just that really! For context he’s 43, and self employed so it’s a work trip that he’s organised himself. It’s long haul and they will be away for a few weeks. She works for him at his house everyday mon-Fri, they are set up in his dining room. Desks next to eachother. We don’t live together.

The whole thing is making me feel a bit weird but I’m not sure why! I know if I try to talk to him about it it will just go round in circles and will just result in me feeling like a terrible person/jealous insecure girlfriend. He sees the trip as essential to the business, I don’t want to be accused of being unsupportive as I do support him massively.

just wondered how others would potentially feel about this situation? Am I being an absolute areshole girlfriend?

I asked my 9 Yr old daughter how old her new teacher was. 'Oh, really old' she replied, 'about 25....' 😥

😂

For a bit of balance, I worked in web design and at one particular company we would have trips abroad. Some of us would go to meet clients, others would go to conferences and events. However, if it was my business and I expected to have free time, I'd be asking my partner to come along.

@cheeseandhamtoastie42 is there any way you can warn the parents / employee after you split so they know you are NOT endorsing this trip.
I really do fear for this young woman like @TheChickenRun

That's the spirit!

ETA this was in reply to the vicious post just before which has now, thankfully, been deleted

@ChangefortheBetter88 what a horrible post. Op has been in a 20 year long term relationship so yes there is damage, and this guy seems “subtly abusive” but abusive all the same. If you can’t be supportive there is no point in posting.

Yes, it was a vile and venomous post

This sounds scary but you must remember you’re the responsible adult. You can tell your children that there are things about he situation they don’t have to know about but that your job is keeping them safe, and not seeing this man is a part of that job for you.

I’d end the relationship

@AnonAnonmysteryi dread to think what it said. Unfortunately there are a few posters on here who don’t seem to realise that these situations are real life with feelings and consequences involved.

He sounds vile op.

Dump him and find happiness x

Four years, not twenty. She's dragging her children along with this.

Four years with this man after 20 in an abusive marriage.

Wtf op. Jeeze you are well rid ! Can’t wait for the update that it’s over . You deserve so much more . Skinny jeans ? Come on 🙄

@cheeseandhamtoastie42 just seen that you are struggling to end it .
I think you be best telling him the day before he leaves . That it’s over and he has not to contact you on his arrival back home. That over the years he has crossed many a boundary and kept you as a secret for 4 years . Tell him and mean it that you deserve better and it’s over.

For future reference: the 88 in their name is common internet code for neo-nazi/white supremacist (HH).

It highlights the point that it's about time her children got a break. She'll be talked round. He's deceptive and distant towards her, so there no real relationship with her children, but it's being used as to why she can't end it. But if posters tell her to end it and perhaps focus on her children, rather than enjoying the drama, they are wrong.

I just put an update above. I don’t trust him tbh he’s lied and gaslit a lot in the past, especially about trips. He’s secretive about his life and withholds a lot of information.

How does waiting for the other shoe to drop benefit you exactly? It’s time to move on.

Agree with the timing but there's no need for an explanation. Just "Sorry, it's not working out.". The OP doesn't need to trigger a debate about it.

He then has 3 weeks to put her behind him and is far less likely to bother her on his return.

Well it’s done now.

Thank you so much to all of the lovely posters who have made thoughtful and helpful comments I really do appreciate you 🥰 To those (very few) making judgy and critical remarks about details I have not confirmed on this thread…not so much!

Time for some self care and distractions I think. Thank you again ♥️♥️♥️

Really pleased for you OP. I know it will be an adjustment and painful bits, but you know who you are and it's been good to see you start to recognise that you deserve more. Best of luck to you

Well done. Onwards without his tiny penis flapping about in his skinny jeans.

Well done on getting rid of this plonker. Hopefully the stress of dealing with his shenanigans will ease up
Hope you do something extra nice for yourself this week

Id feel the same and you say there is massive double standards so he wouldnt like you to go away with a work colleague but he can for 3 weeks with a 22 yr old... your feelings are completely normal and your gut is telling you something.
I couldn't have a relationship like this it would mess too much with my head and feelings x