A friends husband is calling me

[littlelongstockings]

I am friends with a lady from our children’s school, we have been friends for about 2 years. We meet up once every few months with the children and her husband always comes along too.

A week or so ago her husband private messaged me on Facebook asking how my “solo weekend” was going as he knew I had the weekend to myself and also talking about a famous family member of mine. I didn’t think too much in to it and ended the conversation quite quickly. Thisafternoon he called me on facebook 3 times in a row, I didn’t answer but messaged back asking if all was okay and if he meant to ring me, he said he was just calling for a catch up but he’s busy now and will call again tomorrow to chat.

This is the first time he has spoken to me outside of when we all meet up. Am I right in thinking this is slightly odd? Does he just see me as a friend too? I just don’t think I would ever call my husbands friend 3 times in a row for a catch up.

He's definitely fishing, and choosing his time carefully. Makes me wonder how many other people he’s targeted, as he knows when to message. Ie. When he’s wife is out.

Id tell his wife that I think he's been hacked as i kept getting weird calls pretending to be him.

Now that's a really good idea.

What a bloody creep he is. FFS it's awful she can't even take her kids to school without her husband calling other women.

@Shedmistress That is a good idea! I like that one!

I'd shut this down OP. Didn't like the way he referred to your 'solo' weekend, like maybe it wouldn't be 'solo' if he came around. Also, why's he mentioning a famous family member of yours? Is he a journo who's trying to find a way in? Whatever you do, don't be intrigued or flattered.

Yes call his wife op. That way you don't have to engage. You don't have to navigate any conversation that might throw you or undermine your questioning about the intentions.

By asking her is everything ok you keep it simple and you just speak to her.

Then you do nothing. Don't initiate any more coffees etc. He's made this weird.

It is just going to be awkward now next time we meet up and he is there! I’m also 20 years younger than him.

Or you could just, you know, block him...

People seem to want to dramatise it / make more complicated than need be. Often the case.

Tell him you don’t chat on Fb but you could make a WhatsApp group of you two, plus his DW to continue to convo. I’m pretty sure he won’t want to chat any more.

Come on! Nobody is this naive surely?

YOU KNOW WHAT HES DOING AND WHY @littlelongstockings

ignore him totally

then text your friend, “had a few missed calls from your H btw, must have been accidental, either that or he’s been hacked”

then block the creepy fuck on every possible way he has to contact you.

Is he attractive?

I find it odd that your friend's husband tags along when you meet up with her! Does your husband come along too?! It feels like this woman's husband likes to integrate with his wife's friends, to try and suss out if they might be receptive to his advances! Sadly, there are men out there like this.

Your friend was on the school run when her husband tried calling you. He rang in quick succession, because he knew he didn't have long before his wife returned home with the children. He's being friendly but not overly friendly at this point. He'll want to have little chats with you, about normal every day things, before he starts with the flirty behaviour. He's laying the groundwork, so to speak.

You've told your husband. I'd see if your friend's husband does call you. If he does, deliberately don't answer. See if he calls in quick succession again. If he does, contact your friend and ask her if all is OK, as her husband has called you numerous times.You then change your settings on Facebook. Nip this in the bud now.

I think one thing is very likely...this isn't the first time your friend's husband has behaved in this way!

Surely this is just to do with your famous family member, not you personally? That's how I'm reading it.

This 100 % because your letting her know if it's innocent all is ok and if it isn't he can't put any blame on you if she twigs what he is up 2 he may well blame u x

Lordy lord. It just keeps getting better. He's panting after a younger woman.

If he raises the issue, I'd be tempted to just say 'Yes I saw you called. I didn't answer because I don't develop 1-2-1 friendships like that with men'. Keep it as light and breezy as you can.

If he starts arguing against that or asking you why, don't elaborate. He'll already know the answer, so don't waste your breath. Just change the topic. If he ignores that topic change, message your friend and say you're interested in meeting up in future, but you won't be attending any more if you have to sit with a man who expects you to provide answers on something like that.

@TalkToTheHand123 No I wouldn’t class him as particularly attractive

agree this.

I mean, you might want to talk to the wife on the basis that she's your friend and her husband is being inappropriate.

But really, you need to tell him that this is not okay. I'd be messaging him straight back, "Why do you keep spam calling me right when Jane is doing the school run? It's really inappropriate and makes me very uncomfortable."

I bet it has more to do with your famous family member
no offence to you but i bet thats the bigger draw, he he some kind of business person who need networking kudos

Totally agree with this. London is full of these blaggers (are you in London I can't remember). hence just pick up and nip it in the bud. Honestly, the drama!

So why doesn’t he just leave a message saying this? Why phone when his wife is out? If it’s a straight forward request for famous relative to present some awards, or open a new depot, then there’s no need for the cloak and dagger phonecalls. He could just ask his wife to get op to phone him, or even phone when she’s about.

@pimplebumIt definitely could be but surly if that was the case he would just call me at random times not when his wife is out of the house? Or maybe ask her for my number so he can openly ask me a question about my family member. He isn’t definitely not a journalist or anything like that and his job has nothing to do with famous people.

@CoventryCity Nope not in London!