A friends husband is calling me

[littlelongstockings]

I am friends with a lady from our children’s school, we have been friends for about 2 years. We meet up once every few months with the children and her husband always comes along too.

A week or so ago her husband private messaged me on Facebook asking how my “solo weekend” was going as he knew I had the weekend to myself and also talking about a famous family member of mine. I didn’t think too much in to it and ended the conversation quite quickly. Thisafternoon he called me on facebook 3 times in a row, I didn’t answer but messaged back asking if all was okay and if he meant to ring me, he said he was just calling for a catch up but he’s busy now and will call again tomorrow to chat.

This is the first time he has spoken to me outside of when we all meet up. Am I right in thinking this is slightly odd? Does he just see me as a friend too? I just don’t think I would ever call my husbands friend 3 times in a row for a catch up.

@Silverbirchleaf Exactly

I’ve got visions of a man in his 50’s-ish, thinking I fancy a younger model.
I don’t know if your famous relative is younger and female as well?
Because he is casting his net.
As someone old enough to be your mum I would tell his wife and lose her as a friend if I had to because I could not sit on this information.
He is an absolute creep. I got a message like that in my younger years back when men like him creeped around LinkedIn and it began ‘hey hunny’ which made me heave.
He is an absolute creep.

Oh come on OP - if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

He is trying to hit on you. And he isnt very subtle or good at it either. Tell him that you wont answer one to ones from him in the future. I mean who knows whether he wants to have an affair with you or whether he and partner are swingers and want you to join in. Really it doesnt matter. you arent interested and you need to tell him straight and to the point. stop wondering why and just deal with the action rather than spend time endlessly speculating over the motives of a casual aquaintance.

Give the phone to your husband to answer next time he rings. That might see him off...

She doesn’t want to make it awkward with her friend though, which totally get. Yes if she tells her it will still be awkward, but in a different way. If she just blocks him, when her friend finds out it will worse

Just ignore him why the drama just ignore his calls and messages

I agree with you and @Itiswhysofew. That's definitely the vibe I was getting. He could want to try and meet them through OP. People are really quite funny about celebs. They get starstruck silly over even fairly obscure people just because they're publicly known.
In fact that could be why he always comes along to the meets ups.

OP should tell mate she prefers to meet up just the two of them.

Just because someone calls and messages you doesn't mean you have to respond. You have no relation or business with this man, stop answering to his calls. His intentions don't matter, but it's safe to assume they probably aren't good. Either he's trying to open an affair portal, or he's interested in using you to get closer to your famous family member.

I'd probably step away from the whole family, including his wife. I wouldn't want any potential drama on my doorstep.

Okay so should I let me friend know then? In a lighthearted kind of way? I am not replying to his calls or acknowledging him. I don’t want to just block him as this will make things awkward when we meet. I don’t want to loose my friendship with my friend over this.

He's sniffing about. Block him.

Oh and my famous family member is a Man in his 70s not a female.

Could the husband be hoping to meet your famous relative , and you are simply a means to an end

Okay so should I let me friend know then? In a lighthearted kind of way?

I suggested you tell her was my advice when i posted this morning and also tell your dh. I suggested how you worded it. It doesnt have to be a drama, just make sure you are being transparent. Thst way nothing can come back to bite you on your bum. No point keeping it a secret.
If you keep it a secret and he tells her that he has phoned you it looks dodgy that you haven't said anything. Why would she fall out with you, its him that's being a nuisance.

I would just let your husband answer the call if he rings again. Or if that’s not possible then either just block him or message him “Why do you keep calling me, bit weird…”. Maybe he thinks his wife is having an affair and wants to ask you. But more than likely he’s chancing his luck trying to hit.

And get used to making men uncomfortable. They won’t hesitate to regard your feelings.

You're way past things being awkwards. they're already awkward. He's practically stalking you.

Could the husband be hoping to meet your famous relative , and you are simply a means to an end

So he waits until she is away by herself to start phoning, her knowing her dh isnt around?

FFS. How do you get that from what the OP has written. Are you a journalist or a nine year old?

Yep I ve had to do this a few times with people’s husbands and partners.
it often transpired later that I was not the only single woman friend they were contacting

You ring her and ask her if everything is OK cos you have had N calls from her husband and you are worried.

That covers all bases and will probably nip it all in the bud.

Beware, does his Mrs know he's contacted you?

Well yes, obviously you message her. You should have done that yesterday.

He’s fishing.

It’s completely inappropriate imo.

Right I have sent her a message asking if all is okay with her as her husband has called me 6 times over the last 2 days for a catch up etc and said I’m not good with phone calls. I have also messaged him back on Facebook and said I don’t do phone calls but me and friend are planning to meet up over half term so we can catch up then. I will now not respond to anymore of his messages and will potentially block him now.

I really don’t want things to be awkward, our children are really close too so it would be a shame to ruin that.