A friends husband is calling me

[littlelongstockings]

I am friends with a lady from our children’s school, we have been friends for about 2 years. We meet up once every few months with the children and her husband always comes along too.

A week or so ago her husband private messaged me on Facebook asking how my “solo weekend” was going as he knew I had the weekend to myself and also talking about a famous family member of mine. I didn’t think too much in to it and ended the conversation quite quickly. Thisafternoon he called me on facebook 3 times in a row, I didn’t answer but messaged back asking if all was okay and if he meant to ring me, he said he was just calling for a catch up but he’s busy now and will call again tomorrow to chat.

This is the first time he has spoken to me outside of when we all meet up. Am I right in thinking this is slightly odd? Does he just see me as a friend too? I just don’t think I would ever call my husbands friend 3 times in a row for a catch up.

This would have been the absolute best thing to do. You could plausibly be worried about her because why else would he be repeatedly calling you?

Just saw your update. Well done. You won't look odd- he will. You haven't said 'your husband is being creepy and pursuing me'. You've handled it perfectly. Interested to know how she responds!

@TalkToTheHand123 No definitely not! I was completely taken by surprise when he kept trying to contact me. If anything I have often wished he didn’t tag along to all our meet ups!!

You did the right thing, and are a good friend to let his wife know.

It's obviously not innocent and she had no clue he was messaging you.

Your friend will be hearing excuses or reasons from him when she asks why, and will have to process what this means.

I have a feeling if she checks his phone, there'll be a lot more to see .

Here we go 🙄

Well handled op!

Yeah sounds like he’s tried this before from her lack of surprise

@LondonLass2026 "Surely this is just to do with your famous family member, not you personally? That's how I'm reading it."

Really? You honestly think that a bloke literally bombarding a woman half his age with calls and messages whilst his wife is on the school run isn't at all suspect. I mean, he'd have to be absolutely fucking desperate to talk about her relative (who apparently is in his 70's and unlikely to be of that much interest to him). And since this married man turns up every time the OP meets with his wife, why doesn't he ask about it then? You know, in front of his wife. Sorry, but I don't think you know that much about men!

After I sent my friend the screenshots last night and she replied with “ok thanks x” I haven’t heard anything else from her. I hope she is okay and I hear from her soon!

I think you've thrown a grenade in her marriage. You or your husband should have had a stern word with the guy in the first instance.

Op has done nothing; the friend’s husband has done this himself.

Sadly I don’t think you will hear back but you still did the right thing.

Agree. She shouldn't have said anything. Bad advice given. She probably didn't want to know and now a lot of unnecessary trouble has been caused which could have been avoided. 😔

He threw the grenade, she detonated it.

I don't think she'll want to see you now,you did the right thing but the messenger ALWAYS gets shot. She needs to save face and won't want to see someone who she knows her husband fancies.

“Don’t think we need a catch up. Have a nice week”

@wheresthesnowgone If I were in her shoes I would want to know though. He also needs to know his actions have consequences.

You have no idea why he was calling you. You may have just ruined a surprise gathering or present he was arranging for his wife.

You must rate yourself.

And he could private message her with this information because…. ?

Surely it was her husband who did that, if that's the effect of his calls.

@TunnelLight If that was the case I’m sure I would have heard from either of them by now! I didn’t outrightly say I thought he was being dodgy to his wife, I just asked her if she was okay as her DH had called me 6 times asking for a catch up, I then sent her screen shots as she asked how I was sure it was him. My friend even said she thought it was “odd” in one of her texts to me.

Maybe he wanted / needed a quick answer and thought it best to get whilst his wife was on the school run. Nothing written down either to spoil the surprise.

@littlelongstockings it’s not normal that you didn’t pick up the phone and instead assumed he wanted an affair and basically told his wife that her husband wants to have sex with you.

I hope they are at home laughing about this now.

So in that case if he needed such a quick answer why did he wait 24 hours until his wife left the house and then try again? Do better.

All he needed to do was message about this imaginary surprise and then delete the chat.

"Basically' is doing a ludicrous amount of heavy lifting here, isn't it.

There is really no convincing innocent explanation for his behaviour. Tunnel's old chestnut 'but I was trying to organise a surprise birthday party for you darling' is my bet for what hubby goes with. Such a cliche!

I'll bet my life savings they are rowing like mad not laughing. Some people are spectacularly naive.