Women without children, how did your life turn out?

[AnyPomegranate]

I'm 29F and don't want children. I'm having a terrible time dating - most men want children and the ones who don't are commitment-phobe types who don't want a long-term monogamous relationship (let alone marriage).

Women who are childfree by choice, how has your life turned out? Did you ever meet your husband and if so, were you both actively childfree when you met or was it just something you fell into? If you didn't meet a partner, are you happy with your childfree life or do you wish you'd chosen differently?

I'd love to hear your experiences. Thank you x

I’m a mum but have friends in their 50s without children- they are living the life of Riley! They’re fitter, have more energy (which considering menopause is no mean feat), are mortgage-free and have full social lives- all of these things are in sharp contrast to my life! As much as I love my DC and would jump through hoops of fire for them, I can only see positives.

Leaving aside the question as to whether 31 and 33 should be considered older ( 1st baby over the age of 30 was until the '00s) anecdote is not data the evidence is very clear increased parental age is absolutely correlated with SEN
https://www.advancedautism.com/post/odds-of-having-a-child-with-autism-by-age

Tbh men are a lot more fun and tolerable when there aren’t children in the mix

I agree with you on the historical stuff. For me, "this isn't a world I want to bring children into" doesn't stack up. I think you either want them or you don't. If you want them, you'll have them in an apocalypse. If you don't, like me, you wouldn't have them in Paradise.

Only about 15 years to wait to get your mates back 😃

Well, it didn't turn out as I'd imagined: I've always loved kids. As a child, I assumed I've have a husband and children one day.
But neither happened and I'm fine with it.
At 61, life hasn't always been easy, but it's been really interesting, full of change and adventure. Most of all, I value the freedom that I have.
Would I do things differently if I had my time again? No.

I think you’ll find that in the few years after 30 you’ll still be very attractive if you were at 29 but you start being seen as either less suitable for having a couple of children with due to age, or likely to be desperate and baby trap someone - hopefully with your clearly stated childfree status the first lot of men will weed themselves out for you anyway and you’ll meet someone who doesn’t want kids who actually believes you don’t either and knows how to use their own contraception.
The older you get, the more you’ll find men who don’t want you to have a child for them - unfortunately at 29 you are currently in the prime age for divorced men looking to try again from scratch as well as men your age who have just got established in careers.

I'd say late 20s and 30s you would need to be careful about attracting older men who have already had a few kids and are now divorced and looking for a stepmum for their kids. You may have to be quite specific that no kids means no kids AT ALL.