Husband changed phone lock screen from photo of me, he's had for 10+ years to 1 with me and m best friend

[Sheepy21]

As title says, my husband has had the same lock screen photo for 10 plus year across current and old phones. Photo of me on 1 of our days in the mountains together. I have noticed he has recent changed it to a photo of me and my best friend (also female) together. Is it the latest in a series of red flags?

Bit of context, my best friend has actually known my husband longer than I've known her. They both met in scouts and are both still involved as adult staff/ leaders. I can tell when they are both at scouts together as he's always 15-20 mins later coming home as they will stay and chat. They have never dated as me and husband have been together since school. But they do go out together on walks, both share some similar hobbies and they have gone for meals out together, usually for birthdays (her husband is a chef and her birthday is a few days after Valentines day and the chance of a chef getting time off at that time of year is impossible). I didn't really spend much time with her until our kids came along and she's now very much my best friend and 'auntie' to our children, as well as my wine drinking partner when I need to escape the house

Last few years my husband hasn't spent much time with her but the last year or so they have steadily been spending more and more time together alone, as well as time with me, him, her (and occasionally her husband too). Husband doesn't have many male friends, most are women and he has always been close to her (except the few years round Covid where they didn't really talk much)

Am I reading too much into it that he is wanting to spend much more time with her again along with things like changing lock screen photos? Her husband is still working long hours away from home and they don't spend much time together as husband and wife.....

Oh right

well I guess only the Op can answer what kind of a “state” she’s in on a Sunday evening

I’ll copy/paste: I don’t lounge around the house with my hair and make up done and I’m generally in quite tatty clothes.

You seem oddly worked up by this.

Just tell him you like the photo he's put up on his phone but that you feel sad that it is no longer one of just you. Then talk about something else.
Honest talk is always best.
Remember to make time for outings together alone. Every hobby and event should not involve the other person or couple.

😆 revisit your post which started this exchange!

My initial comment wasn’t worked up, you responded perfectly normally and we were fine. You then decided to jump in again this morning when I responded to other people with ‘well just because you wouldn’t’, etc. And I’m not sure why.

well we will have to disagree on that

but I can assure you that I’m not worked up about fact you wouldn’t want a photo taken of yourself on a Sunday evening 😆

I can understand wanting to change the photo but the only one he can find is one that also includes the best friend and someone he already spends an incredible amount of time with ? The last thing I would do is suggest to my sister there was something up as I wouldn’t want to upset her so the fact that your sister has raised alarm bells you should really take notice. She’s noticed something you haven’t..

That's kind of unhinged.
Especially point 2.
All sounds a bit bunny boiler-ish.

So much weird about this post from @MissDostoevsky where does one even start?!

I have that setting too! I love it

Can’t get my head around someone telling me that they thought this was sketchy and for me to actually think my beloved best mate and husband might be getting it on! Just so so alien to me I’d have burst in to laughter

The fact you didn’t @Sheepy21 is the real cause for concern

I don't quite understand your point.
There have been plenty of threads o1n MN where the H or partner has had an affair with the OP's best friend.

Given in this situation the OP knows that her best friend is also her H's best and very close friend and she knows how much one on one time they spend together, and have been doing especially recently, why on earth would OP's reaction be laughter? OP may be very trusting and come over as passive and willing to believe what her H has told her about the reason he chose this photo but she is not a fool. She must be very aware that this is a distinct possibility. And the fact that her sister brought the inappropriateness of the photo up certainly won't have come over as a laughing matter.

If someone said to me that they thought this was sketchy about my best friend and my husband - I would honestly respond with “what the bell are you on about” and give it not another second’s thought.

Why? Because I love and adore them both and… trust them and so it really is comical to even imagine.

@Sheepy21 jumped straight to thinking it was a possibility, which very much indicates that it could be a possibility! Or at least there’s a pretty crappy level of trust between the Op and her husband and the Op and her best mate

My DH had a pic of me for years then replaced me with his dog. 🤷

If someone (with a history of being cheated on) can make you question your husband and best friend with a passing comment about a photo @Sheepy21 - there’s lots of other suspicions you’ve had about this pair that you have been squashing.

That’s fine and cute .. but what if he replaced you with another woman?

Well they are long term friends, were they ever friends with benefits? I think it is possible for certain men to be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with them, i think if they are attracted to them though the thought may naturally occur, but that would then require the woman to enforce that boundary or the man if it was the other way around.

If they fancy each other then i guess the right situation could result in something happening as they would be very comfortable with each other after that many years, hard to say really.

Any update OP, are you okay