The worst thing anyone has said to you?

[Tiredofbeingalowpriority]

Just going through a break up with someone I thought I loved very much but should have been aware it wasn’t going to work - we met just as he was splitting from
a long relationship and in hindsight I should have realised he wasn’t ready for another one. I’ve been crying uncontrollably and it hurts …but remembering some of awful things he said to me - the top two being:

1: on our first holiday in gorgeous Athens after we had been together for two years - I was so excited to be with him until he asked me to take a photo of him and another group of people so he could say to his family he was on a history trip rather than away with me.

2: I have some bad perimenopause and had said that I had quite bad anxiety. He said “don’t put that on me”. What a gent.

anyone got anything better?

Oh yes to cap it all she spent a large majority of her life working with vulnerable children.

God, so did mine!

She said to me once, "I wish you'd been born disabled because then you'd have been deserving of my love."

She had a very romanticised view of being the parent of a disabled child and one that did not reflect the reality of it at all...

My daughter was born prematurely by EMCS after a routine growth scan.

There was a very real risk that she might not have survived. It was a snap decision to keep me in on a Friday. Had that not been possible, we were told afterwards, she wouldn't have survived the weekend.

My mum came to visit her in hospital when she was a couple of days old. She laughed when she saw her and said, "Gosh, you are tiny. My colleague had a baby last week who was the same size as you and she died!"

I know how lucky I was to bring my baby home and my heart breaks for others who were denied that privilege. It was such a crass thing to say.

When my 7 year old son first met her, he whispered to her, "You are my sister and I will always protect you." He said it with such quiet and fierce determination and, 20 years on, he has never faltered on that commitment. And my mum said that.

When my 7 year old son first met her, he whispered to her, "You are my sister and I will always protect you." He said it with such quiet and fierce determination and, 20 years on, he has never faltered on that commitment.

Beautiful.

“I got married and she knows all about you.” 💔

It was. Tears well up now even just thinking about it 🥰

I think it would be fair to sa that im a completely different person to my mother!

I've remembered another...

My mum was my birth partner when my son was born. I hadn't quite realised at that point that, no, she was never going to 'come through' for me.

He was born, i was exhausted and it was the middle of the night.

She turned to me when the midwife took him to clean him up etc and, with a look of utter disgust and tone of derision, said "Well, you've no dignity left now. I've seen everything you've got." And then she complained to the midwife that she wasn't also brought tea and toast.

There was absolutely no joy or love in her whatsoever.

Just what would posses you to say these things?

My STBX husband said to me that I 'dress like a slut' (I don't in fact I am quite conservative) and then when I got upset about it that 'all the women at his workplace would have found this funny, you've got no sense of humour'

He mocked my childhood abuse in front of one of his friends after telling him that my grandmother used to hit me with a broom then said with a kind of smirk 'what else did she used to do to you?' like it was the funniest thing in the world. The friend was very uncomfortable.

After not having any interest in sex for years when I was a size 12 and then suddenly finding it again when I was a size 6 said to me 'but you weren't hugely fat'

After commenting that I found a particular celebrity attractive: 'you're not on his level'

After showing him my poetry: took a red pen and made extensive corrections and basically said it was shit.

Also called me 'good girl' multiple times and after an argument that I was a 'silly little girl'.

Your son is a Rock Star 💐💐

My mother told me, almost viciously, that I'd always been my dad's favourite. I mean...I probably was but when you're a child you don't want to hear that from your mum.

A friend's boyfriend told me what I lacked in looks I made up for in personality. Nice.

Isn't it just. And from a small boy.

I am so sorry 😥

When she.was about 2, we went on holiday and they had a kids club for the older children and a creche facility for the younger ones.

They were advertising an activity that we thought she'd enjoy and went to take a look. It was horrible! The whole place, the atmosphere, everything. Her dad and I looked at each other and knew immediately it was a no.

In his 9 year old world, he didn't realise we'd have seen it too and turned to us with tears in his eyes and said quietly and almost menacingly, "You are NOT leaving my sister here."

The absolute horror he must have felt on seeing it and fear that we might have done!

They're in their 20s now living their own lives but are still incredibly close ❤️

and I seemed so self assured they thought I needed taking down a peg or two.

that’s staggering. That’s the antithesis of parenting. It’s spite. It’s cutting the heads off flowers taller than yours. And their defence renders you unable to respond without them saying ‘see, see what we mean’. Ugh.

Gosh he sounds awful.

it hurts her and I should stop talking about the past.

like lots of us you found yourself wanting to say to your parent ‘but when you love someone and they say they have been hurt by you, your love for them makes you want to sort it out” and you’re like, ahh, right, I’m getting it now.

I love you but Im not in love with you.... the most trite and unoriginal shit but wow it cuts to the bone. And of course it was covering up a slew of lies and a sleazy affair conducted with great ingenuity and stealth behind my back

Wow.

I have seen women post this in all seriousness on the Family Lowdown Facebook page, which is a real insight into the attitudes and lives of the less educated.

How mean. I’m so sorry.

he asked me to take a photo of him and another group of people so he could say to his family he was on a history trip rather than away with me.

And you didn't book yourself onto the next flight home, or into another hotel to enjoy the rest of the holiday solo, because...?

You haven't dumped him because...?

Autism isn't an excuse for being rude. I cannot conceive of a reason why a man wouldn't know that you never call someone overweight, nor comment on their vaginal muscle tone.

If he thought you might benefit from kegels, he could send you the link to Gussie Grips's stand-up comedy routine with something like "I never thought you could make this funny and I didn't know men needed this too" and trust that you're smart enough to take onboard Gussie's important pelvic health message.

"That little cnt is ruining our marriage"
My ex about our second baby, who was colicky and hard to settle.
Ironically, after I kicked him out, no child maintenence, no acknowledgement that his sons even existed, 30 years on, that "little cnt" is the only one of his children who will have anything to do with him, now hes a lonely old man with a chronic illness and no friends ( i never told my lovely 30+year old son what his father had called him as a baby)

I’ve never had a kind person say unkind things to me. It’s only ever been unkind people. At 55 I see it clearly now and will smile when people are cruel because honestly, living in a head that often relishes saying unkind things is it’s own personal hell surely. Think about it. If you woke up tomorrow and found yourself perfectly capable of and regularly being spiteful even and probably especially your children. I can’t think of a worse existence and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I WILL keep tf away from that shit.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do, even if you were open to chemo." (Context: I had already said I wouldn't inflict chemo on a cat.)

CatOfHate, I miss you.

Well done both these boys.

An ex once said to me that I was the fattest woman he had ever had sex with. I was a size 12 and wearing a gorgeous dress at the time. We had been out for the night and staying in a hotel. He refused to get in bed with me.
Lord knows why I didn’t end things there and then. He cried when I left him.