The worst thing anyone has said to you?

[Tiredofbeingalowpriority]

Just going through a break up with someone I thought I loved very much but should have been aware it wasn’t going to work - we met just as he was splitting from
a long relationship and in hindsight I should have realised he wasn’t ready for another one. I’ve been crying uncontrollably and it hurts …but remembering some of awful things he said to me - the top two being:

1: on our first holiday in gorgeous Athens after we had been together for two years - I was so excited to be with him until he asked me to take a photo of him and another group of people so he could say to his family he was on a history trip rather than away with me.

2: I have some bad perimenopause and had said that I had quite bad anxiety. He said “don’t put that on me”. What a gent.

anyone got anything better?

My ex told me it was my fault my brother abused me because I should have stopped him. I was 6 when it started. My ex also broke my arm and two fingers the night he said that to me so it does stand out in my memory. It took me another 15 years to tell anyone else about the abuse I suffered as a child because logically, I knew it wasn’t my fault, but the shame of it was definitely worse after he said that to me.

Paraphrased, but "I agree with my Mum that you have a personality disorder and no friends. Shall we discuss your childhood?" took some getting over.

Pretty much had the same experience when I was young. Told by various people that I would never meet anyone who could cope with my disability - was even told by one friend that men wanted to be husbands not carers !! Thankfully not all men are shallow. I had thirty happy years with my late husband, and am into my fifth year with husband number two.

I’ve always had the feeling that since the pandemic people are generally much ruder and more entitled. I thought it was mainly as a result of lockdowns, and many people being isolated as a result. But this makes more sense.

Bet he ended up being a useless Disney dad

I hope that friend was immediately an ex friend

Oh my god @DustyMaiden

Go ahead tell. They wont believe you.
You're not worth the effort.

Because you let me (this one stung the most) his answer after asking why they treated me so badly. . All my own fault apparently.

I have only read the first page and I could honestly cry at some of the cruel things that have been said.
I know people often say things they don't mean, me included, but some of the cruel words here are unforgivable.

The lack of awareness is mindblowing isn't it @GreyCarpet
Sorry you experienced that. Sometimes I think the actual inability to take any responsibility for themselves is worse than the actual acts.

My mum left me anywhere and everywhere as a child, didn't protect me at all and was mostly drunk.

When my son was a bit older, early twenties she joked with him about my over protectiveness as a mother particularly just after he was born and how ridiculous she thought it was. So much so that he actually came home and repeated it rather condescendingly to me. Fucking psycho!

Oh yes to cap it all she spent a large majority of her life working with vulnerable children.

I hope you are reconsidering that relationship immediately?

The level of contempt that it takes to come up with that comment is awful. You deserve someone who cherishes you.

I bet this is a man who (not so very) secretly can’t stand that you earn more than him. Or some version of that.

Dumped at warp speed !!

My ex said it was a shame my kids existed. That comment was absolutely the end for me. We both had kids late teens and early 20s. My kids hadn’t done anything at all to merit that comment. I’d made a real effort with his kids, he made zero effort with mine. After we split up, his daughter confided in me that her father used to make horrible comments about his wife’s family to his DW. What a horrible man.

"You're meant to keep my stomach full and my balls empty" (shudder)

My narcissistic ex used to call me wrinkled old hag, you look to old for me etc. Never in my life have comments affected me so much. We was only 48 at the time. Thankfully it's been 5 years since it ended. Yet he still gets in touch several times a year, gets blanked every time. So yes his words have cut deep.

My mother when I was 14 said to me: "Your father's having an affair and it's all your fault."

Both DH and I are multiracial, so our children have a beautiful mix of 3 different ethnicities (overlap).

When pregnant with our first, a family friend "aunty" decided to tell us how bad she felt for our future child, never knowing "what" he is. Is he black? Is he white? Is he Asian? She went through a whole spiel while we all just stared at her completely gobsmacked. She was a good friend of my in laws that they'd socialised with for years, never knowing her true views.

Needless to say, she became an ex-friend pretty swiftly. We all had to ghost her and apparently she never understood why.

My jaw actually dropped open at this one

My mother said that she believed that my diagnosis of Osteosarcoma (Bone Cancer) was due to the fact I used to scratch my leg as a child. I had to have my leg amputated at the hip when I was 17.

A man i was seeing once told me he thought his ex had a much prettier face than mine but he likes my body more 😑 very often I look in the mirror and remember these words and really dislike how my face look. I know it’s not ugly, there is literally nothing wrong with it but the words had a very negative effect on my self esteem 😕

Not to me but I had an ex friend (a woman) break up with her girlfriend the same day said girlfriends father died, I asked her why she did that and she told me she didn’t want to deal with a girlfriend who was grieving and thought it would be better to not wait any longer to break up! I still think that’s one of the most awful things I’ve ever heard and completely changed how I saw her.

I have to love you but I don’t have to like you,

Thanks, mum, Barely gave her a minute of trouble so don’t know why I was so had to like.

An ex once told me that when we met his work colleagues i had to pretend I had a different job to the one I did as it was too embarrassing for him to say I worked in admin.

I was talking to a guy for a year or so. We got to know each other and seemed to have an amazing connection. I really really liked him. He then got into a relationship with someone else - I was heartbroken as he'd implied to me that he wanted to have a relationship with me (I was taking it slow as I'd just come out of a long marriage).

His relationship didn't last long and then he told me he wanted to be with me. He said that his ex was super hot and beautiful, and that I wasn't physically attractive but that he really liked my "energy" so that made up for it.

He also said that he didn't like my face, but that it didn't matter, he didn't have to look at it if we were going to have sex.

He actually thought that I'd want to get with him after he said all that!

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forget those comments...

This was a lot of years ago and I've been very happily single for a long while. It took some time for me to register that the comment above (and others - there is never just one) were completely vile and were a reflection on him and not me.