There We Are Then - part 4, but episode 278946, probably.

[mummy917]

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

💪💪💪

You won today.

Brilliant!! At least he understood you meant what you said about taking things further if he didn't step up today @mummy917 So who's watching them tomorrow, while he is at work - or has he had to take that off too?

The twins will be in nursery and the oldest 2 at school. He’s having to start work a bit later to do the school run and has booked them into after school club until 5, so will still have to leave slightly earlier than he usually would.

Thanks @mummy917 - I should have realised that. Sorry! Too much on my mind at this end!

Very pleased he's at last getting a taste of what it's like to have to rearrange your working life a bit because of your children.

He’s having to shape up at last. Long may it continue.

Great result.

You completely stepping back from feeling the need to resolve child related issues caused entirely by him, on his days, has worked wonders. He has finally realised you mean what you say.

Keep the momentum going by pressing him for the money he owes you. The last thing he wants is your solicitor breathing down his neck so use this as leverage. Tell him you will no longer tolerate him choosing to prioritise tatoos/concert tickets etc over the debt he owes you whilst simultaneously claiming to have no money. Strike while the iron is hot.

@mummy917 - just make sure that after school club know that he is responsible for the bill for his nights and that you won't be paying it or take kindly to being chased for the funds if he doesn't....

Very pleased he's at last getting a taste of what it's like to have to rearrange your working life a bit because of your children.

Definitely!

Seems like he's slowing realising that you're not there to enable his slack any more.

Good point, I'd be clarifying this with the after school club asap. If they charge you instead of him, and he refuses to repay you straight away, it's time for a strongly worded solicitor's letter.

Great advice to keep up the pressure for the money he owes you - don’t let up now - and to make it known he has to pay for after school club on his days.
Oh dear <sarcasm> woken up from his beauty sleep and unable to hide in the bathroom for 40 minutes, having to go in late and leave early (presumably needing to make up hours in non-contact time), having to make arrangements with school then slog at the daily grind before being an unaided parent to his children. This isn’t the life of a footloose and fancy-free man. If only he’d had a crystal ball…or appreciated how good he had it. 😂

And for 50% of his time he is no longer able to decide on a whim to go to his mates for a take out or a few beers, pop down to the gym or just generally please himself!! It must be such a shock to him as he’s never before had any constraint on his actions 😂😂

You mentioned way back OP that he has two brothers. What do they make of all this? And are your Sils sympathetic to you? They must all hear about this from his DM surely? I bet they think he is an absolute waster.

There is going to come a point when he realises he had it really sweet with you. He won’t ever admit it, but he’ll be kicking himself as he desperately seeks a nanny with a fanny.

I think he did you a favour!

He’s done you a huge favour imo.

Yes @mummy917 you were more of a single parent when he lived in your house - now you have a bit of breathing space... involuntarily donated by him. 😂

When the new year thread comes up asking who the biggest twat of the year has been on Mumsnet, I’m nominating this guy

Yes, tell the after school people that he needs billing directly for the extra time he has booked. Don't pay & expect refund from him.

Even better, tell them to bill him for everything and let him ask you for your contribution 😂

Perfect! Seriously! Do it!

Even better, tell them to bill him for everything and let him ask you for your contribution 🤣

I second this!