There We Are Then - part 4, but episode 278946, probably.

[mummy917]

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

I do think that it seems odd that the oldest boy keeps 'accidentally' telling and much more likely he is being grilled.

He dreamed of Saturday nights enjoying the bachelor life, but his mates are at home with their wives and children, and he’s at home with his own children while you are out having a marvellous time.

So true @MyrtleLion - Saturday nights out on the tiles with a good few one night stands. But it hasn't quite worked out that way!

“dickswinging with a cocktail sausage” is about the funniest thing I’ve ever read on here. It’s a perfect description of so many men.

Hi @mummy917 .

Wow, you've come so far since your first post... 😊

Please start another thread so we can keep supporting you!
And enjoying your progress...

He's so determined to be angry at you for the most ridiculous things, he's really scraping the barrel this time!

I haven’t replied and still have no intention to.

I really hope he is not grilling our son because I’m sure that comes under some form of post separation abuse/coercive control? I could be wrong.

Dickswinging with a cocktail sausage is also one of the best things I’ve ever read on here too 🤣

I will start another thread as only realised this one is almost full too xx

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5588994-there-we-are-then-part-5-dickswinging-with-a-cocktail-sausage-continues?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

There is the new thread 😊🤣 xx

He probably is grilling your son. I think you should be really careful about what your kids know about your weekend social plans unfortunately, at least for the time being. Because then they’re not in a difficult situation when he asks them questions as they genuinely won’t know. And also it will annoy the hell out of him.

My son overheard me on the phone to “Ellie” about Saturday night, I was in the kitchen and he came downstairs for a drink after bedtime and I didn’t hear him at first. By which point he’d already heard. Maybe I’ll keep contact about nights out/away to texts too so he can’t ask him any questions at all.

Maybe I’ll keep contact about nights out/away to texts too so he can’t ask him any questions at all.

That sounds very sensible and will hopefully make life easier for DS who can truthfully say he doesn't know. It really isn't fair on the poor boy to be grilled by his dad about what his mum is doing.

How very controlling of him to say in that rather sinister way “I have Ellie’s number so I can ring her”. He might as well have said “I think I have the right to know where you are and who you’re with at all times, and I’ll intimidate you and your friends if you don’t give me the information I want up front.”

However, the image of him dickswinging with a cocktail sausage is so apt (for him and a LOT of other men) that I think he’ll never have a serious response from @mummy917 again 👏😂

I was assuming he meant, if he needed to get in contact with op in the case of an “emergency”and she is out with Ellie.

And he was saying it to see if op would say “oh I’m not actually going out with Ellie I’m going out with xyz”. Like, fishing to see if she’s going out with a man.

I agree. Exes are masters of casual questioning. “Have you had any visitors lately?”. “Has mum bought you any new stuff lately?”. Etc. They make it sound like they’re just interested in what’s going on and making conversation but the children instinctively know they’ll be in their Dad’s good books if they give them the answers they’re looking for. I would be VERY careful with what’s said in front of the DCs. Even the most innocent events will be twisted by the ex.

Ha Ha!!!!! He thinks you're living the life he thought he was going to get!

He's jealous that you are going out with your friends whilst he's watching the kids. 😂He's realising he unwittingly gave you the "freedom" he himself sought. He really shows himself up in a very poor light every time he puts pen to iphone.

I know its not pleasant to receive texts like that but it is Brilliant that you have ignored these texts because to use a well worn school yard phrase to him, its Nunya.
Nunya Bizness. 😂

I hope you have a wonderful time with your friends @mummy917 It seems completely sensible to stay over rather than pay a fortune on Ubers for a long ride home.

I love that no response is a response in itself that drives them fucking potty! I know that my ex tied himself up in knots wondering what the hell I was up to (and he only had DD every other weekend!) because I would just ignore any message that wasnt directly related to her.

They imagine that we must be doing what they wish they were doing, if only the women would have them, and it drives them fucking fanty!

If it wasn't for the fact that the kids would hear it at some point, I'd be very tempted to change your ringtone for Twattoo to the chorus of this.

He hears about one decent night out and that is the shit he comes out with.

The bank shifts are needed because he chooses not to pay his half of costs for his children with @mummy917

The idea that he is owed information, never mind detailed explanations is ridiculous.
Well done on your determination not to get drawn in to replying @mummy917

Just catching up with your latest posts @mummy917. It's so telling that he wants to know where you're going/who you'll be with on Saturday, he clearly can't stand the idea that you're having a life without him.

I agree with @MrsPapillon that he could be questioning your eldest about what you're doing. Stick to texts from now on.

Dear god I’d be so tempted to reply ‘Piss off!’..

can you imagine if she had sent that message to TWAT asking why he was staying out? He would have been raging about her being controlling…

He really is an insufferable knob. It's none of his business anymore.

Maybe I’ll keep contact about nights out/away to texts too so he can’t ask him any questions at all.

Good plan. Pricks like him will actually enjoy ruining your plans and/or try to make you feel guilty about having a life when the kids aren't with you.

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