There We Are Then - part 4, but episode 278946, probably.

[mummy917]

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

Well done @mummy917 Go You!!

His mum will eventually tire of providing this level of childcare

I suspect that she already has!

Having an honest chat with his mother could well backfire on you.
Your mother’s given him a tongue lashing, won’t relent or accommodate him, you’ve found the balls he doesn’t have 🤣👌.
We’re just waiting on his mum now aren’t we? She’s no fool OP…

Definitely don’t speak to his mum. It will backfire. It sounds like she will come to her own conclusions anyway. Just let it take its course and hold firm yourself.

^This.

You have finally found your anger op. Good for you and it’s the right thing to do . You have been patient enough .

Can you stay at your Mum's next Tuesday night and go to work from there on Wednesday morning - just so you aren't home if he decides to pitch up.

I’m pretty sure @mummy917 has the children on Tuesday night and needs to drop them to him on Wednesday morning

I expect he will contract an infectious disease & be unable to have the children because then YOU would be deliberately putting them at risk.

We could lay bets on which illness - maybe Ebola? 🤣

He's a real piece of work and I'm glad you've finally spelled it out for him that he is responsible for his own children on his own time, and if he tries to mess you (and them!) about on it, you will take legal action.

The audacity when he you have them 50% of the time, his mother has them 40% of the time and he has them 10% of the time by the sound of it!

He’s scuppered and he knows it which is why “He didn’t really know what to say, he just stumbled over his words and when I put it in writing in a text and told him I was deadly serious, he hasn’t opened the message.”
Game, set and match mummy917! 💪

YESSSSSS! Amazing @mummy917. You are doing so incredibly well. Huge admiration for you x

Sorry just caught up on messages, I was at work yesterday. I’m honestly not sure where this anger has came from but I’m absolutely fed up of him thinking he can treat me and the kids like pushovers. If he does prove everyone right next Wednesday and drops me in it with work, then he will be hearing from my solicitor.

Your perfectly justified anger is allowing you to assert boundaries and command respect from him.
I don’t think he’d even dare let you down next Wednesday but he is shameless so best to be prepared.

@mummy917 well done for finding your anger. I actually don’t think he will drop you in it now. The fact that you’ve now started fighting back and not taking his shit I think will scare him. You’ve said before that generally he hates confrontation and he comes across as quite a weak person, now you’ve found your anger I think he’ll retreat as he doesn’t know how to handle it. It was easy before, he had you under his control and a few pointed words had you back in your box, however you are now stronger and unpredictable and he can no longer control you.

The important thing about next Wednesday is not to let him make you miss work. It is his day therefore there is no justifiable reason for you to cover for him. Remind him that under UK law, his employer has to facilitate time off in such situations regardless of how important/ busy he thinks he is.

@Lostpassporthelp reading your post, the word “unpredictable “ hit me straight between the eyes. You’re bang on, I think, that’s exactly what this fool won’t be able to process. @mummy917 , be proud of yourself. You’re making your way back to yourself after a very long detour!

If he's not there next Wednesday, if it were me I'd be tempted to turn up at his office with them and leave them with him there....

Me too

I understand that impulse, but we're talking about 2 year old children here, not bags of clothes he's forgotten.

Taking them to his place of work and leaving them there could be very traumatising for them, especially given his likely reaction.

Agree. In any case I don't think Twatoo's job is office-based, if I remember rightly.

I'm pretty sure it's because you are no longer facilitating his life. You've done so for years (no blaming) and he is so self centred and so immature that he truly sees no reason why you shouldn't continue to do so even after he left you. In fact, it is 'wrong' and 'controlling' that you aren't doing so! And especially now that it appears that not only you but his own mum are digging in your heels.

So there is now no convenient female on which to dump his parental responsibilities. Oh, cruel cruel you! Oh cruel cruel Mum!! Won't someone come to his rescue so he can have days of rest and tattoos?? Oh cruel world, look on him and pity him!! Weep bitter tears of sorrow for him!! He now may actually have to behave like an adult. How terribly terribly sad and unfair.

So if you were to say to him "But this is what you wanted!!", actually, no it isn't. What he wanted was for his life to continue as it was, just minus a wife. He expected that his life would continue the way it has always been, no family responsibilities and someone else carrying his load.

No wonder the dumbass is furious!

Yes his life as “young, free & single “is not the Eldorado he envisioned. He actually has more responsibilities, less money & you have more freedom.
Oh the sweet taste of Victory, must not be so sweet after all !

Agree with this.

I do get the thought behind it because its infuriating that this guy seems to do what the hell he likes and all the women scramble to cover for his uselessness. Hopefully he isnt that much of an arsehole and is there on Wednesday.