There We Are Then - part 4, but episode 278946, probably.

[mummy917]

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

That was my initial reaction, but then I remembered that Twatoo has managed to get the knack of dividing his 50/50 parenting time according to the requirements of the CMS, which apparently only counts nights but not days for the purposes of 50/50, so I should imagine this wouldn't count in the eyes of the CMS - not sure about the law, though?

Well if he turns his children away in the morning I can’t imagine @mummy917 is going to take them back to him that evening just so he can clock up his overnight 😂. In fact in that situation I don’t think I’d be taking them back at all until something had been worked out that he can stick to.

Agreed @Lizchapman

I’ve told him I’m already aware he is full of shit, because I know they can’t refuse unpaid time off for kids. I’ve done my digging and found it on the gov website. I will not be helping out next week in regards to the childcare for next Wednesday and if he purposely makes things difficult, to the point I have to miss work, then that is when I’ll be firmly back in touch with my lovely solicitor.

Well done @mummy917 - quoting government legislation at him is a stellar move.

That was my initial reaction, but then I remembered that Twatoo has managed to get the knack of dividing his 50/50 parenting time according to the requirements of the CMS, which apparently only counts nights but not days for the purposes of 50/50, so I should imagine this wouldn't count in the eyes of the CMS - not sure about the law, though?

Unfortunately, I think its all about overnights - I've always thought this is ridiculous because surely the expensive part of childcare is what takes place during the day

Hopefully wrt next Wednesday he’s now realising he’s backed into a corner as mummy917 is working, his mother’s on holiday and mummy917’s mother won’t oblige. Having paid £400 for the tattoo last Friday, I doubt he’d have the money for an extra day for the twins in nursery.
If he won’t cover during the day, he should not be enabled to take the children for the night thereby failing CMS requirements.

I can’t wait for him to get a new girlfriend…. The stories he will tell!!!

Hopefully if he does get a GF he’ll fade into the distance and leave mummy917 and the children to have a more peaceful life.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. Well done!

He didn’t really know what to say, he just stumbled over his words and when I put it in writing in a text and told him I was deadly serious, he hasn’t opened the message. Hell of course have read it and will have just pulled the notification down on his phone. His phone never used to be out of his hand, so he will have seen it.

@mummy917

You've said your say and given him notice that his days are his problem, neither of which you really had to do. As a 'grown up' he shouldn't need to be told that his children are his responsibility on his days.

If he chooses to lie and say "I didn't see your message" that's still not your problem. And evidence of what a selfish, immature prat he is.

You might want to explicitly tell him that if he's not there when you drop them off next Wednesday morning, you're contacting your solicitor and also won't be dropping them off for the overnight. If you haven't already. It's important he understands that 50/50 means just that.

He must be feeling a bit uncomfortable. Despite obviously being angry at @mummy917 (for his own unfathomable and unfair reasons, probably involving having four kids), it’s easy and potentially satisfying to deliberately “stand up for yourself”, put yourself first, and “take back control”, which I’m sure he thinks he’s been doing; but on the way he has been such an arsehole and now it’s becoming clear that his ex, his ex MiL, and possibly even his own mother are all now seeing him in a very different light, and I bet he’ll feel that loss of esteem- even if he holds women in contempt.

I have just read the update on the ‘texting ex mother in law’ stunt and now I have to go and find my breath as his attitude has taken it away.
This is no twat after all. This is a prize cunt.

satisfying to deliberately “stand up for yourself”, put yourself first, and “take back control”

You mean he's a one-man Brexit?
And now Europe won't give him the same deal as before?

He never expected this from you. He thought he had all the power but you’ve shown him that he doesn’t. Absolutely brilliant from you, OP.

Well delivered OP.
He’s going further and further onto the back foot. Conversely you’re gaining in strength.

It’s all coming home to roost for him now , he thought you would crumble when he left and you are flying and he is financially worse off and having to look after his own children . Well done @mummy917 .

I’ve got absolutely no desire to have any control over him, I’m being the way I am with him because I can see through him now and see him for what he is, and probably always has been, he just did a very good job of hiding it for so long! But no doubt he will pull out the controlling card all he wants again. It doesn’t bother me anymore.

I protected him for so long without even realising I was doing it. If he doesn’t want to step up and be a proper parent, then he can step back instead.

@mummy917 you must, every time you have the opportunity, include the "see you next Tuesday" phrase...

And I think we all know which way that is going to go. He appears terrified at the idea of having the twins for a day on his own. It does make me wonder if your eldest is being expected to parent the little ones when he has them all together.

Lol, brilliant.

If he doesn’t want to step up and be a proper parent, then he can step back instead.
Yes! Loving your insight and fortitude. 💪

I agree, he diesnt know how to occupy the twins, he must use the oldest to occupy/watch over/feed them