There We Are Then - part 4, but episode 278946, probably.

[mummy917]

For anyone who is still offering messages of hope, wisdom and general loveliness 🥰

OMG he’s being expected to do actual parenting himself during his 50% time 😂😂😂. This is when he really begins to learn what it means that he has deactivated wife mode 🙈🙈🙈

Wow - having to parent his own kids for a whole day - what an absolute arsehole you are for not facilitating him and organising your life to bail him out! He really is a TWAT of the highest order. I actually can't wait for his Mum to have had enough so she passes that 50-50 responsibility back to him so he has to sort out his own kids - please let it be soon!

I would pre warn your work in case he makes sure he’s not there to take them.

Wow the bloody cheek of it and I bet it was his Mum who had to tell you too that she was going away. If he’s conveniently not at home on the Wednesday I wouldn’t let him have the children again until he agrees to mediation or takes you to court. He chose this, he doesn’t get to pick and choose when it’s convenient for him to actually parent.

This. From all we've learned about him over all these threads, I really wouldn't put it past him to pull a trick like that.

I’ve spoken to our interim manager when I was in on Thursday and he was very understanding and said he’d put an extra RN shift out to bank, just incase my ex is his typical self. I also would t put it past him either.

It was his mum who told me. She rang me earlier in the week to tell me as she had a feeling he hadn’t. It’s laughable.

Yep agree he may well go into work as normal. Great that your work are understanding.

The absolute gall of him - the unthinking "women are there to pick up my slack" both towards you and his mum. Does he genuinely not know that he needs to take parental leave from work or some holiday to cover this situation?

I really hope they've ballsed up his tattoo.

What a complete and utter twat, At least his Mum warned you because as others have said I wouldn’t put it past him to just not be there to take them…

Tbh though he really doesn’t need to tell you his Mum is away. You are NOT his back up childcare so you simply don’t need to know about this as it’s his time and up to him to arrange something. But there we are then 🙈

So this guy is still doing bare minimal parenting himself and expecting all the women around him to arrange everything. Ive never disliked someone ive never met more!

He does realise he is the parent, not his mum right? And he wanted 50/50. What is he going to do when inevitably his mum stops doing so much because there is no way she is going to do this long term, she is pretty much doing his half!

The fact he’d just expected I’d be there to pick up his slack, says it all and that he didn’t tell me, he clearly thought he could get away with doing so!

When his mum finally gets sick of picking up his slack, then I think that’s when he will finally buckle on the 50/50.

Have you filed for divorce yet? Sorry if you have and I've missed it/forgotten!

If he was a reasonable person and wasn't so against paying you a penny he'd realise you'd all be happier if you came up with an alternative to the supposed 50/50

Omg op he’s becoming a bigger twat than he already was. Good for you for not bowing down to him this is where he has to learn to be a dad and prioritise his kids. He’s a fucking wanker on top of his usual twattiness. Glad you had a great day and he never ruined it being a manchild. If for any reason he drops you in it tell him he can go fuck himself and 50/50 isn’t working for you and your job doesn’t revolve around his mums holidays his days his problem if you have to tell him you will see him in court even if you don’t plan to he can’t play games with your livelihood big gobshite.

Yeah I filed for divorce back in July now, so just over 2 months ago.

No absolutely. My flexible working has been agreed in line with our 50/50, so his or his mum’s holidays, or anything else (unless work related/an emergency), I won’t be accommodating for.

I thought I understood the character of this man. But this instance has actually taken my breath away. It’s the fact that he HADN’T EVEN TOLD @mummy917 that he is going to duck out of his 50/50. So not only is he refusing to understand what 50/50 parenting means but he is also expecting OP to use a crystal ball to anticipate that apparently she can’t work next week to feed her four children.
I continue to wonder about this man’s cognitive ability. An utter wanker but also really quite a stupid human being. What person with a functioning brain doesn’t grasp that if you have sole responsibility for four children on a given day and then your childcare falls through, you have to take a day off work?

Wow!
He really has gone one step further hasnt he?!

When he says he can't afford childcare or time off, suggest that he could have done if he hadnt spent £400 on a twatoo!

He’s the gift that keeps on giving 🙄

Frankly if he doesn’t take them on the Wednesday you need to just say to him that you will be putting in a CMS claim as he’s reneged on the 50/50 . Glad you had a good day .

I agree. If there is one thing that focusses his mind it will be having to pay CMS.

Yes, or go to the gym.
Grey rock. “This is what you wanted”
“Your time, you find a solution”
“I am no longer your maid,” or
“The advantage of having a wife eh ? He he he”

I’m assuming his Mum was pretty appalled at his complete incompetence and his total disregard for you and your job?

Might also be worth mentioning to his mum (so it gets back to him) that if you lose or have to give up your job because of him, you can apply for spousal maintenance. I suspect that will bring him up short!

His mum said she had no words for him when I told her I had no idea about her upcoming holiday. I’m still cautious what I say to her as she’s still his mum first and foremost.

I do think she’s also seeing a side to him she didn’t know was there either though.

@mummy917 i think you need to make it clear to her that you are not his back up childcare and it’s up to him to take leave or make other arrangements as it does sound as though she too was expecting you to fill the gap

So she was also under the impression that you were covering for him/ie her during her holiday? Not cool.