Is he cheating? Urgent advice please!

[mouseymouse123]

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

FWIW my XH was having an affair for years with a woman from work. They only saw each other at work (had individual offices) and when staying a bit late. They only occasionally met up for an evening, usually when I'd been spun a line about a work night out. So I think if someone wants an affair, they can make time for it.

It sounds, though, as though your husband is seeing sex workers rather than having an affair. Again, this can happen in very little time, e.g. on the way to work and on the way home.

I'd be concerned that someone had been in my home, though. I can't imagine a situation where he goes to a woman's home and has sex with her, then brings home a false nail. How could that happen?

I wouldn't confront him immediately. I'd go through bank accounts, checking for ATM withdrawals to match the dates you've found. I'd get an STD test. I'd also get a ring doorbell, and would say you've heard something about people hanging around the house. I'd say anything, really, but would get the doorbell for the front and back of the house.

I'm really sorry. You will get through this, but don't react in a way where we see you on a Netflix show, promise?!

You should confront him but be prepared that he will deny it and say he only messaged her and didn't go through with it. You might never get an admission. So many other women have been in this situation on here. It's horrific. No guy ever admits it unless caught in the act practically. Deny and minimise. You must be completely devastated. Stay as strong as you can, get some support in real life x

My DH went away to London for a night and there were some knickers in our laundry that weren’t mine or DD’s. I asked one of her friends mum if they were hers ( the friend) and they weren’t. Then he said he’d found a bottle of perfume in his bag. He’s definitely not cheating. I think he might have picked up something from his sisters spare room but I wasn’t concerned and I have anxiety

Apologies I didn't RTFT

Sorry didn’t see the update

I've told him to leave. He's expecting me to believe he used them for a conversation and a massage! He is adamant he's never had anyone on our house.

It sounds like some sweaty cow is leaving clues around your home OP 👀

Good for you OP

Not his fault then

Course he did! This has never happened ever, what a liar. He must think you are totally stupid. Why can't he talk to you his wife? What an arsehole.

Well done OP.

If we’re being asked to play detective then I’m putting all possibilities on the table. You’d be surprised how common this is these days - see the epic trans widows threads for more details here.

The prostitutes probably felt bad for you hence leaving evidence. Cheating ratbag.

Oh dear 😳

Bloody hell, that took a turn 😱

If he was having an affair, do you really think he’d bring her back to your house?

Omg!
Get this bastard out the house!
Protect them little babies and get some support from your family!

My teens use fake nails they're incredibly sticky and they drop everywhere buses out and about. It is perfectly possible one has stuck to clothing whilst out and then dropped in your house they are the bane of my life.

You need an STI test ASAP. If he wants a chat he could book a therapist not a prostitute. Men see prostitutes because they want sex not riveting conversations.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Well Done for speaking to him and standing your ground. Do you have any family or friends nearby you can ask to come over tonight for a bit of company? Sending lots of strength and seriously well done for believing yourself.

Even contacting another woman for a chat and a massage is bang out of line. What is he thinking!?!

My thoughts exactly.

All or just the vast majority? Surely there are some honest men who are genuinely very in love with their partners.

I remember your previous thread. I'm so sorry.

I haven’t read all the thread but I wouldn’t jump to conclusions too quickly.

OP has already said he’s been messaging prostitutes….