The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Major red flag. Most men have some woman in their lives - daughter, mother, young colleague, etc- whom they would not like to think of walking home at night by themselves, or going home with an unknown man. They should know that this is due to general safeguarding and the importance of maintaining boundaries as a woman, and usually not personal to the particular man. I've had a few guys ask me on first or second date if i trust them...usually to walk/drive me home... answer has 💯 been "fuck no"!!

Would depend on how he said it for me, were you already joking around or was this his only response to you having boundaries in not wanting to go over so soon? if the latter then I'd not be keen...

I joked to Mr Spa that I hoped he wasnt a serial killer on our first date but it was very much part of a jokey conversation & he replied that I might turn into a stalker like Baby Reindeer once I knew where he lived...

Sweet baby jebus🤦🏼‍♀️

I got 2 first messages today from a guy:
"Today"
"You invite me?"

Like actually fuck off!

Finally caught up but sorry there'll be a lot missed.

@ilovelurchers
I'm sorry your mom is going thru it but glad you don't feel it's too awful 💐
Your FWB sounds amazing...hot and so thoughtful!!! I thought helpful and thoughtful were outside the remit of a FWB but what do I know!!
You had me laughing so hard with your Jane Austen esque dream sequence, and Bagpuss, and stealing kidneys. You're a scream 🤣

@MsJinks your situation seems to be getting a bit complicated. Hope things work out how you hope.

@boxofcats you and your outfit sound fab. You've intrigued me now with the idea of an irl singles event. Never considered one before but I do sometimes feel at a loose end if I want to get dressed up and go out and talk to randos and none of my friends are up for it at the time.

@chocolatefreak
Sorry you've had a hard time of it with ill parents and your belongings getting stolen.
Mr Rigger sounds hopeful?

@Nosdacariad what are your plans for Ireland in November? PM if you'd prefer.
Sorry Tractors got real weird real fast 🙄

@greenwoodmac sorry to hear OLD has been such a PITA for you

@empirebiscuits12 thank you for kind words and yes I'm fine. Glad you're feeling a bit better.

@cleanshirt I hear you re inconsistent comms!

Mixed bag with Mr Italian. After our really lovely nature walk on Sunday, he sent me a nice text (hours later) saying goodnight and that he had a lovely time. I replied to say I did also and thanked him for his sweet message. Then....crickets for nearly 2 days.

Now, full disclosure...the first time we met I made a joke (but meant it!) Thanking him for his fairly infrequent texts and saying how much I hated and didn't understand this crazy all day long check in thing. I would prefer too little than too much comms. But actually I've come to realise I enjoy his texts and would like a bit more of them.

He claims I'm the busiest person since the pope (his words) but actually he just waits til Thurs or Friday before asking me out for the next day 🤷🏼‍♀️ by then I've either committed to going out with friends or staying in with kids...I have explained this.

Other possible negative....he can't let me away with saying anything good about myself. Like i mentioned I was such an inefficient and messy cook, but at least the meals were decent at the end of it - and he pulled me up on it, gently, but still. Another time I told him a (very boring) dream that he was in and I'd been a bit of a bitch and I said 'well at least I'm nicer in real life'... he commented (and i quote) "who said you are nice in real life?! Self proclaimed nice? 😀"
Last example that I remember off the top of my head is I said something like 'well at least I look sweet 😇', or maybe innocent, I forget. Again...instantly pulled up on it and asked who said I look sweet. ...Answer is Literally every guy who's messaged me on bumble and loads of people irl also. These are 3 comments among weeks of texts...I don't go around bigging myself up all the time, far far from it. If he says something nice about himself I agree enthusiastically so it feels quite mean spirited and a bit like negging. He knows life has been anything but easy for me and I've been thru the f'ing wringer so I don't get this seeming need to take me down a peg or two. Most people would not swap for my life!!!

Just heard it for the first time today!

agree with op that being g as you are makes most sense. I used to meet dates straight after work.

😱😂😂
nuts

How does that feel?

Same, well MrX and my DH second date.

Planes it was about 6th but that was a mistake.

NOW it's more like 3 months and NEVER if they try to engineer it.

Funny isn't it.

Beered picked me up second date, I felt completely safe.

Tractors offered frst date I turned him down.

It was a response to me saying at this stage I'd rather go out.

Ohhh this is a worrying sign and none of your comments are anything that needs "taking down a peg".

What would your self esteem be like after a year of it?

He sounds insecure.

Ireland - Belfast, work. Still excited !!!

Since Mr Golf appears to have disappeared I’ve decided my approach to apps should change and I’m going to quickly assess and put matches into one of the following “buckets”:

Fun Bobby - Great to chat to, energetic, clearly just wants short term.

Attention Seeking Andy - Just on the apps for an ego boost

Nonchalant Norman - wants to be chased

Long Term Larry - potential for something serious

so unless I see signs of a Long Term Larry I’m not going to over invest 😂

Although currently chatting to a Fun Bobby and might just meet him for something lighthearted before trying seriously again

Ugh to nonchalant Norman.

Long term Larry is taking me back to RDJ in Ally McBeal!

Belfast is good craic, hope you'll have plenty of time for fun 🥳

Yes it is a strange quality. I wonder is it a cultural thing, as in the Irish are known for their slagging/banter and he's just missing the mark 🤔 A la Garron Noone types with their "You look like you love to eat, let's welly a bag a chips into you' being a solid start to a relationship. I've said it to him and I'm watching this space.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC Loving the bucket system! I'm probably drawn to the Fun Bobbys 🙈

At least he's honest! 🤣🤣🤣

Does it do it for you @Ilovelurchers ?!

How are you today?

God, he sounds like a mean-minded, pathetic, jealous bastard! So angry on your behalf.... Definitely negging. And weird negging at that!

Slightly, yes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hi ladies -not caught up - just letting you know that really all my advice is pointless lol!

So Mr T has gone away - on one of his beloved solo trips - except their seems to be a woman with him - forgot to mention that!

So excuse if I post shite tonight - I got through work but now I’m having a couole! Hopefully posting on here will save me blowing it up now and I can speak to him when he’s back.

I am Such a fucking muppet 🙈

@MsJinks tell us about the woman?

I'm so sorry. Definitely wine o clock. I might join you later and we can talk shite together.

Oh fucking Hell - I am so sorry to hear that. Get as pissed and ranty as you like - none of us here will judge you!

I truly expected better from Mr Tree. In fact, he was my poster boy for believing that there were still a few diamonds put there in the rough.

If he too is going to be a disappointment, maybe we should all get pissed and ranty!!!

Do you want to say what happened? How did you find out? Xxx

WTF who is this woman? How have you found out?

Have a few and try to relax tonight before you deal with it xx

@Ilovelurchersansmd@Nosdacariad - I’m not in his fb but I have a burner fb for many reasons and I look at it - so his holiday posts are public - he said sumat about a trip and issues - she commented underneath about why they’d had these issues. I searched her and found they’d even dating in 2025 -and this explains an awful lot of other stuff tbh - stuff I tried really hard not to be that psycho check up girl - but who was the fool!

Oh no, what???

The big bloody fool. Are you okay? When is he back so you can talk to him? Thinking of you xxx