The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Thankyou for creating the new thread.

Hurray! Love it..... Thank you @Nosdacariad.

Ah thank you @Nosdacariad🥰 I agree with @Ilovelurcherswhen she says you give fantastic advice to everyone on this thread whether they’re a regular or just passing through! So grateful to everyone for the advice I’ve had so far 😊

I kind of have a new iron. I say kind of because he isn’t local to me - not by a long shot! However he does travel for work and has a sort of mini motor home type thing. He left a lovely comment on a photo on FB dating and his bio was really interesting so I matched and started chatting. Clearly this won’t go anywhere but I’m coming round to the idea of finding myself a FWB because I’m pretty fed up with the constant let downs. I’m going to call him Mr Highlander (or just Mr HL for short). No doubt I’ll not even snare myself a decent respectful FWB but I can try 😂

@Ilovelurchersim sorry to hear about the speed dating particularly because I was looking forward to hearing all about it! Exciting that you swapped numbers with someone though!

Highlander just sounds sexy!!! Fingers crossed.

I don't think I am going to follow up on the guy last night as we were very different - but I impressed myself by suggesting to him we sit and have a drink, rather than just scurrying away in disappointment and shame!

FWB2 finally got in touch with me. He is back home now so he is OK I think. But it really stresses me out when I couldn't contact him, so I am thinking of breaking of the "benefits" aspect of our friendship, once he is better. I dunno, it just made me uncomfortable that this is someone I am sleeping with, and yet quite possibly nobody else in his life has even heard of me.......

And Gemini asked me, is he even single? Which I do think he is, yes, judging from social media etc, but I guess I am not 100% and now I have started worrying...... And when the trust's gone ...

I will wait for the poor guy to recover first, like! But I don't even think he will be that upset anyway. Which also tells you something ......

Anyway, onwards and upwards - date with Mr Cricket tonight! Bir worried I won't fancy him, but we'll see.....

I’m impressed too! I think I would have awkwardly shuffled on out if it was me. Is there another event coming up? I think I would quite like to give speed dating a go however I suspect a lot of events would be the same….not as many people as the organisers hoped. OLD just gives people more options from the comfort of their own home, which is a pity.

Glad to hear FWB2 is okay. I must have missed your chat on Mr Cricket….would you mind filling me in?

@Ilovelurchers you are really gaining in clarity recently - it feels like you're clearing the decks and I won't be at all surprised if you meet someone great soon.

It could be Mr Cricket!

Thanks @empirebiscuits12 for the kind comment and at least Mr Highlander will have a good soundtrack ( cheesy film reference for the young! ).

I nearly had a new iron but he seems to have unmatched me after I asked why he was in lodgings (HOW do they find me?!) and he delivered a speech ending in "I have no faith in women" 😱

I agree with you about lovely Lurchers is likely getting closer to graduating from this thread!

Turns our Mr Highlander is going to Spain in about a week and will be gone for a month 🫠

Uggh, regarding your almost-iron. Why do these men feel the need to give a speech? Reminded me of Mr Teacake at the end. He gave a big speech saying he found it “quite heavy” that I felt overwhelmed. And also let me know that the hotel room he had booked (of his own accord may I add) cost £280 and was non refundable 🙄 I blocked him after that then an hour later saw him on OLD with a new account. His bio said something along the lines of “looking for someone to Live Love and Laugh with”.

@empirebiscuits12 the bio alone shows swerving of the dreadful!

Where's Satan when we need him?

My word - you destroyed his faith in women by asking him why he was in lodgings? Sounds like a pretty fragile faith to begin with.

Another one outing himself early, which is good really - at least you didn't waste too much time and energy on him! X

Teacake too - absolutely unbelievable that he could accuse you of being "too heavy" with a straight face - this is the same Teacake who was sending about 56 messages an hour, seemed to want a 48 hour, multi-activity second date..... But they just don't see it, do they?

Frankly, if he was silly enough to spend £280 on a hotel room, then that's very much his look out. It also implies a very big assumption on his part that you would have been going back to it with him, which I don't think anyone should be making on a second date, regardless of what happened on the first. (Can't remember if you slept with him or not - but even if you die, that's no guarantee you are going to want to the next time...... )

Hiya can I join? Am dipping my toe back into the dating pool after a break 😊 xx

Hey please do join us and welcome 💕💜💙

@Ilovelurchers @empirebiscuits12 this reminds me of jobless planes booking himself onto "a diy course in London" which did not come with accommodation. He said he'd get a premier inn for £40...not in London in this decade!!

@Nosdacariad Thank you for the new thread!

@IlovelurchersSorry to hear about the speed dating, but that sounds like a good result!

I am still planning to go to a Thursday.com in person dating event, but the next Thursday I am free isn’t until September!

Meanwhile, Mr Social continues to message me most days. And Mr Charismatic popped over for dinner last night. I’m loving how convenient it is that Mr C only lives a short walk away. Saturday morning I dropped around his with some fresh sourdough from our local bakery (I did check with him first, wasn’t unannounced!), and he said he would repay the favour…

Too true. The texting was ridiculous level, all through my working day. He was on a course one day and it was a relief because phone use was obviously stricter, but when he finished he sent numerous messages including a photo of himself holding his certificate and one of it up close.

No I didn’t sleep with him on the first date. He’d said about the second date he was getting a hotel so he didn’t have to worry about a train home (we were meeting in my city). But I did think it was a bit presumptuous if you ask me. Plus if it was just for him then surely he’d have booked a hotel a little cheaper. Can easily get a room somewhere like Motel One for £140 on a Saturday. I know he was trying to guilt me and it did work. But the relief when I blocked him! I was genuinely having palpitations over that situation.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC welcome ☺️ Have you joined OLD or planning to go to any events?

@Nosdacariad £40!! 😂 I wonder if he was hinting for you to put your hand in your pocket.

@empirebiscuits12 the story didn't ring true at all. He booked it one night after the pub, waited two weeks to tell me, thought he might set up as a handyman alongside his other "business".

I pointed out this was not the behaviour of someone in a relationship (not mentioning it for two weeks) and that he had no tools, no existing skills, was not going to get all the needed skills in two days...he said later he had cancelled it.

I suspect there was another current or future ex in that plan.

Hi, welcome to the thread! How is it going so far - have you joined any apps? X

Just waiting for my Uber to go and meet Mr Cricket. He seems like a nice guy, so I am hoping we will have a pleasant evening at least. Just not sure how much attraction there will be. But to be fair, you never can tell until you meet them in person.

He moved quickly to suggesting a date after matching, so that felt positive at least.....

We will see!

I sent a picture and he was complimentary but not OTT. And has asked me what drink I would like him to get me - all good so far.

I go in to dates with such low expectations these days to be fair ....

@empirebiscuits12 and @Ilovelurchers I’ve joined the apps but not really chatting at the moment because I’m off on holiday for a week tomorrow. So will be a slow start 😊

What apps have you found the best? I’m 47

Ooooh wow I think you were probably on to something there. How are you feeling about everything now re Planes?

Loo update - he is very interesting. Not sure if I fancy him, but it's not inconceivable I might. , It's going OK - one of my better dates so far.

The ex over the road said he was "quiet, distant, vacant" when I mentioned he was not his normal ebullient self when I bumped into him.

I was worried but his life was such a slowmo car crash it could be anything or nothing.

I'm still bruised by his comment 😭

Great news - I hope he is good enough for you 😘

Back home now - the time really flew, we chatted for three hours! He's clever, interesting and also very down to earth. And we are also very politically aligned. And if was a nice balance of talking and listening. Basically can't fault him except.....

I am not certain I am attracted enough? I tried to envisage having sex with him, and couldn't do it. But weirdly, I did imagine being on holiday with him, holding hands, and introducing him to people as my partner and feeling quite proud in a way (not that I objectify men and show them off like a new car.... But you see what I mean, that feeling when you are with a new bloke and you want people to know you are with him....)

So I do wonder if there is a little bit of attraction there that could grow?

I think if he messages (he might not, though he said he would) I will definitely be open to a second date, and see how that goes.....

(I just really hope that weird thing doesn't happen now when you start to go off them between the first date and the second, for no apparent reason.....)

Just seen he has messaged - he said he wished my Uber hadn't been so prompt as he wanted to kiss me.....

That's quite sweet I guess? (As long as he didn't intend to weirdly grab my face like Mr 2nd Time......)