The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Sounds lovely, and really classy! X

I talk about my dreams! 🤣

I wouldn't necessarily mind a foot fetish I don't think. Presumably they just look at your feet and tell you they are great. Maybe buy you nice shoes? Foot massage?

I have a weird toenail though (just the one) so I am not sure if they would want me.....

Is this because he has hung over? It's not great - you deserve better really. Even hung over, it's possible to send affectionate texts.

Is this the first time you have known him like this?

No he goes a little further than that apparently. I said looking and a foot rub. But it’s erm a rub elsewhere.

So advice please, third date with Mr Golf was Monday evening (we did the deed) he had been sending morning messages Saturday through to Yesterday. On Sunday / Monday I had confirmed if he wanted to keep seeing eachother and if so we could check free days etc he said yes so knows we are both free next Monday and Friday.

Last night after work I sent a quick message we swapped a couple and I just responded with a smile emoji to his last one.

So do I message him, or see what he does?

Are you keen to keep seeing him?

If so, I think that if your last response was an emoji you could send another message. I don't tend to "count" emojis as messages, if you see what I mean?

(And to be fair, I also sometimes double message if I am fed up waiting! 🤣)

@Ilovelurchers i wouldn’t mind seeing him again but at the same time I don’t want to carry things so I really don’t know what to do

@AlwaysCarrieSATC I don't count emojis so send a message then watch what he does xxx

If I get an emoji I think that means end of conversation. So yeah maybe message again.

I’ve messaged again so we will see.

Never ask ChatGPT for advice I explained the scenario it said wait for him to message then I explained it pretending I was him and it said wait for her to message 😂

That's interesting!

I tend to favour Gemini - she's quite an ardent feminist! Whereas ChatGPT tends to sympathise with the bloke's point of view more in my experience...

Anyway, for what it's worth, I think you have done the right thing in messaging. If he doesn't answer, then at least you will have your answer and won't be left wondering.

And fingers crossed he will reply - he'd be a fool not to!

Argh so he has replied but definite change in temperature and not as flirty etc

In other news, my mom's ECG hasn't shown up any urgent concerns - she is waiting for blood test results but it's looking more and more like her symptoms are anxiety related - very understandable due to the fact she is recent widowed after a 53 year marriage, bless her....

For some reason I feel better about this than if she was physically ill - I know mental health can be just as serious and sometimes just as dangerous, but at least I feel like there are more concrete things I can do to support her - talking, taking her out, encouraging her to share her feelings etc etc....

FWB is being fantastic - and with his new hairstyle he is genuinely hotter than the sun! (Or at least, to me he is ..). Earlier I was almost tempted to throw caution to the wind, and propose we give a relationship another go.... But luckily I stopped myself just in time. We really aren't compatible as a couple - it's a cruel irony that we should be so compatible in bed.....

Who knows - maybe Mr Cricket will be a wonderful lover as well? Somehow I can't quite picture it - but I can rarely picture myself having sex with someone until I actually do it......

Oh, that's concerning.

A) are you 100% sure?
B) could it be down to a stressful day, work shit etc?
C) have you changed tone yourself perhaps, due to not being certain whether to message or not? And he could be tone-matching?

I really hope there is a decent explanation. If not, he doesn't deserve you! How are you feeling?

I’m definitely sure but he does have his son this evening. My tone was fine until now and I’ve just sent a brief reply and a “have a lovely rest of your evening”

Tbh I’m glad I sent it and now I’m going to step back but I don’t feel great

I I think you’ve done the right thing not pursuing the relationship with FWB again xx

Yeah Chat gave me a load of nonsense about Planes and his many exes. Def a bloke!

@AlwaysCarrieSATC I think (sadly) your instinct is probably right. You're doing the right thing stepping back. Can you be focusing on a nice thing just for you now?

@Ilovelurchers glad for your Mum. There is no easy way through this for either of you. What a fabby daughter you are 🩵

Don't go back to FWB!

I ask both - nicely they don’t slag each other off lol. This is when I say actually Gemini said … and Chat goes ‘well that’s feasible and …’

AI solidarity ✊

Yes I can. Must admit I’m thinking about just quitting the apps. I’ve formed the opinion men just haven’t got a clue these days and not sure how much more energy to spend bothering

I get this constantly with Mr T tbh - I learned over time it doesn’t mean much of what he thinks of me but more his own capacity/bandwidth at that point. He always feels obliged to answer and sometimes it’s like an email you get at work and sometimes it’s proper connection.

I’ll be upfront though and say I only handled this with mostly style with the help of AI and a huge drafts folder lol.

I also have pushed on effort so he texts most days but sometimes he obviously is ticking it off and actually I wished I’d chilled more and let it be than provide that pressure - we don’t text much and never have though and I’m ok with that, more than tbh.

Generally the advice is to match the energy and see how it is in person - I’m not saying that is easy or even acceptable but explaining what I meant to Mr T was like explaining quantum mechanics to a slug so that was never gonna work and he just follows Jinx’ rules I think - show interest, will send text daily - will add ‘look forward to seeing you’ - I’m not trying to add more in as it confuses him and isn’t then natural.

Idk how you’d feel about him not being able to provide the texting? Or possibly you are thinking he could but won’t and there is a difference.

Text anxiety is real though 💐

I think the problem is that he has messaged and been warm etc and now it’s just flopped and much cooler.

So it’s completely thrown me and I’m assuming he’s just fading out

Pleased nothing physically wrong - though obviously MH is hard to navigate and support too - hope it goes ok and picks up for you all 💐

Well FWB sounds so hot! It is such a shame you can’t work - I am awed by your capacity to do the best thing for you though / incredible lady.

Hopefully, Mr Cricket will be a good one - I didn’t get chance to imagine Mr T really - just went for it 🙈🤣

So Mr T has done this - I have no clue still why some are warm and some cool - not really - it’s disconcerting still but I accept this as I said I’m now confident it doesn’t really mean much about us.

Ne T started warm - so he can but can’t maintain.

I’m definitely not saying you are wrong - it can be clear whats going on - and if so he’s just a dick and you deserved much better by far.

I was offering an alternative view that’s possible but I may possibly have been thinking of @CleanShirtand her text stuff I think - but I did think yours was into you.

If I’ve mixed you up a bit I’m sorry - I’d let match the energy stand though - and recommend drafts for the texts you really really want to send but really really are better not to!

Dating is dire 💐