The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

There's been a definite slowing over the past few days to the point of stopping today. Got a little worried and asked if he was ok. Got left on read again.

Sigh. Thinking I'm too old for this.

I should probably bring it up shouldn't I but don't know if I have it in me.

Yeah I guess then it might just be that he's really keen to be in a couple.

I'd be interested to know why. Any concerns about his adulting?

Otherwise maybe just collect evidence 🩵

How much time will people allow to give attraction a chance to grow when meeting a stranger from an app?

I have met around 20 men in the past 18 months. Nearly all wanted to see me again. I took a handful to date 2 then said no thanks.

One guy I did feel attraction to immediately (on a video call) and it just hit different. We hooked up periodically for 7 months until I ended it because I was too attached. Sad but the right thing to do.

So now I am dating with more intention and I have been on two dates with a guy who seems alright and is keen. Now asking if I want to do something on Saturday and I have left him on read because I am not feeling it. Had a nice time with him on Saturday despite wanting to cancel but at the end of the night it was a chaste peck in the lips and I really did not want to snog him.

Sack it off or give him a chance? I feel like if I toss him aside like all the others I may not have the chance again, but I also don't want to lead him on.

Am I too fussy or do I need therapy? 🤣🤣

Unless there is something major and unrelated up with him then he is not being careful with your heart.

It makes sense that you're not sure you want to deal with bringing it up. Lots of hugs xxx

Neither too fussy nor needing therapy.

There's nothing wrong with one more date if that's what you'd like 🩵

@CleanShirt you might well be feeling a bit fragile after your heart-to-heart the other night. But you deserve some answers. When are you next seeing him?

From what I remember you’ve been seeing eachother for a while, so this behaviour from him is not cool. Even if something catastrophic has happened if he has his phone in his hand to read the message he could send a quick message to say he will catch up with you properly later.

I would bring it up, consistency builds trust and he isn’t being considerate xx

Thanks @AlwaysCarrieSATC @Nosdacariad @Chocolatefreak.

Turns out he's been out and he isn't the best at self control. I'm supposed to be staying at his for the first time tomorrow (I much prefer being at home 🫠). I replied and now left unread.

I'm wondering if this might not be the relationship for me. I'm fairly easy going but don't like being an afterthought - exh was good at that.

As much as Mr M was a player I never had this problem with him (even when he was on dates it turned out!).

I'm in my 40s, can't be doing with all this.

I’m in my 40s too and I hear you on this! No you shouldn’t be an afterthought given he asked you to be in a relationship and if he was going out all he had to do was give you the heads up so you knew. It’s just rude.

If I were you though I’d sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow x

I think it might be worth telling him exactly this.

That he is making you feel like an afterthought xxx

I sent him some good news today combined with a joke and I got a laughing emoji back. It was quite a significant thing I've been stressed about at work. That one did hurt me

(Compared to my best friends who were over the moon for me!)

If I go back to me and the cat it's not the worst thing in the world.

That's quite crap of him.

Sending love xxx

Hello could I join please? Rejoin even I was on this thread under a different name when it thread 26.
im back again.
ove only joined one free site and m getting far too many young ones. Which I say no thanks to. Is that the right etiquette??

How quickly are people meeting ? Cos I can’t tell who I want to meet?!

Id see him again. It takes ages for attraction to grow for me.

Do we talk about who we are chatting to or only dates

Welcome🩵
We talk about any and all. I'm a bugger for talking about exes.
Have you set age filters?

I’m on pof which is a terrible site but it’s free to message. It’s better than our time in which you can’t do anything until you pay.
Erm no u do t think i have. I didn’t think i needed to! I’ll go see if I can

talking to a few. It doesn’t take them long to show their true colours! Mr accountant has said some questionable views.
one who I’ll call mr normal seems lovely but is 14 years younger but he has good chat.
Mr feet has a fetish. Guess about what?
I realised as soon as he asked me my shoe size.

im looking for long term cos I cba starting all over again again.

looking forward to sharing and reading experiences on this crazy process.

Anyone know the etiquette on spotting a dear lovely work colleague on Hinge?

I consider him a work friend in a younger brother way!

I’d mention it if it came up.

I knew my manager was on line dating so I mentioned it before I put myself on. As I thought it’d be worse if he just saw me on there. He has some hilarious stories so it was well worth telling him.

@Nosdacariad I would ignore it.

Ive been thinking about communication between dates and then after you’ve been seeing someone for a while because it comes up a lot on this thread. I honestly don’t get how hard it is for guys to be consistent with it!

Mr Golf and I have had three dates (all good) but can’t see eachother for over a week now due to schedules clashing and honestly where he was warm and chatty straight after the last date now it’s turned a bit shite already and it’s only been 3 days. Got to be honest just puts me right off !

if you don’t want it discussed , just block, then you cannot see each others profiles .

@Reginablitzing @librauk I blocked him but just for discretion really.

He has not mentioned dating but he has lots of great things to add that he hasn't mentioned.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC I agree on the comms. It's really not hard.

Three dates seems to be a clunky time - I think it's out there in the ether that they'll get laid on date three. So they may feel a certain way about that too.

Beered answered the door in a towel date 3. I tutted him 😁

@Nosdacariad we did the deed on the third date 😬 but if I feel it then I do because I’ve dated some people and resisted the urge and then when we finally have we just haven’t been compatible in the bedroom.

this is why I’m a bit annoyed tbh but if he doesn’t step back up I’ll sack it off

Oh sorry I hadn't twigged that.

What an arse.

@Nosdacariad , answered the door in a towel 🤣 beered was before my time
@CleanShirt I would massively struggle being left on read like that, sorry I haven’t picked up do you really like him ?
@Ilovelurchers , I hope your Mum has improved now ? I didn’t realise you had a fab FWB thing going on, I found it took the sting out of disappointments with new dates when I had a FWB. That said I was awful at it and had feelings from the start
@empirebiscuits12 im glad you have picked up now

I have been away on a long weekend with my youngest DC and surprise surprise a week where I am busy and doing nice things meant Mr Chef occupied a proportionate space in my mind ! I don’t know how well you know Mr Clean shirt @CleanShirt but I now simply send a message saying when I would like some attention and Mr Chef obliges, it works because he responds fast and with something lovely so I don’t feel like I’ve had to drag it out of him. Things are going along nicely and I’m excited and very curious about our 3 nights together next week.

Thank you for comments about the iron I am in touch with he’s gone quiet for now so decisions deferred but I am erring towards keeping in touch as friends and were I to ever consider meeting check with Mr Chef first 😉

Wings! 🤣🤣🤣

I hate dreams like that though - I always have them after a break up. Heartbreaking......