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Original poster

The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

966 replies

Nosdacariad · 15/08/2026 22:31

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

OP posts:
MsJinks · 08/09/2026 17:24

Oh so Mr T - he’s away at the minute - that’s ok - good even for my housework lol.

Idk if we will have longer term legs at minute - we are around 5 months in - quite silo’d as I could call it into days/dates - so I’m sorta unsure if it’s a premium FWB lol or more - or rather which it will turn out to be.

He is however so lovely, we have a fabulous time in person, I can’t yet keep my hands off him either haha - that I don’t know I could bear to go if it’s just premium FWB! I have a bit of time yet to see I guess.

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 18:03

Nosdacariad · 05/09/2026 23:38

Date with tractors - if he has ever been 5'11 it was in a previous incarnation.

However he was interested, polite, apparently solvent with a business a house and a Rottie!

I felt zero chemistry. I like big bears of men.

😂

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 18:21

@MsJinks Premium FWB really made me laugh! 5 months is a good run, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying things at least.

@IlovelurchersSorry to hear about your mum 💐 Hope thing are better soon.

@Nosdacariad What’s the story with Tractors, do you think you will meet up again? Sounds like you’re not so enthusiastic…? I don’t think you’re being shallow at all btw!

@MsJinks Happy to hear things are going well with Mr T!

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 18:25

I have my Thursday.com singles event tomorrow night. Unsure how much to dress up for it - it’s still chilly where I live (coming into spring) and is at a rooftop bar. I was planning to wear a short dress, knee high boots and a wool coat but don’t know if that’s too dressy and I should just default to jeans…

Saw Mr Charismatic at the weekend, we are still having a lovely time but neither of us appear to be in a rush to chat about where thing stand between us. It’s my birthday next week so I’m curious to see if he goes out of his way to do anything for it. I have no expectations of course.

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 18:29

@MsJinks premium fwb haha - that's a good turn of phrase (although it definitely sounds like more than that with you and MrT). Hope things continue to advance for you two.
@empirebiscuits12 I also feel like you sometimes - and to be honest - I think a lot of people struggle with the feeling that everyone else has their lives together better than them - it's the human condition. glad you're feeling a bit better today.
@Ilovelurchers sorry to hear about your mum and hope she's ok,,, had a health scare with my parents very recently and went back to the UK to visit for a few days - one reason why I've been so quiet.. another reason is while travelling I left my things on a train and got them stolen which is a stupid thing to do. All ok now though. Just annoyed with myself.
@Nosdacariad I know the feeling - at 5'1" I am shorter than you - but surprisingly strong and hate it if I feel I could pick a man up and throw him😂

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 19:13

I have a new iron, Mr Rigger. We have matched before, on Bumble, and just rematched on Hinge. He is very attractive, super fit and we do several sports in common - although he does them at a much higher level. He admitted he deleted me on Bumble when I took too long to reply to him, because apparently he's sick of being ghosted.

After a bit of chatting today on Hinge we had a video call this evening and got on surprisingly well. I get the impression, though, that he feels messed around by women who don't want to commit - and is impatient as a result - hence he deleted me earlier. His profile states very clearly that he wants monogamy and wants to share his life with someone, especially all the outdoor stuff he does (which I do a lot of). On the call he didn't apologise for the earlier deletion - just reiterated that he wanted to share his life with someone.

Is this impatience a big red flag? Or just a symptom of modern OLD?

AlwaysCarrieSATC · 08/09/2026 19:19

@Nosdacariad are you feeling like 🚜 is a bit meh in general?

@MsJinks have you and Mr T talked about what you are / where you are at? Although sometimes I think premium FWB would be far easier 😂

@Ilovelurchers sending best wishes 💐

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:29

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 18:25

I have my Thursday.com singles event tomorrow night. Unsure how much to dress up for it - it’s still chilly where I live (coming into spring) and is at a rooftop bar. I was planning to wear a short dress, knee high boots and a wool coat but don’t know if that’s too dressy and I should just default to jeans…

Saw Mr Charismatic at the weekend, we are still having a lovely time but neither of us appear to be in a rush to chat about where thing stand between us. It’s my birthday next week so I’m curious to see if he goes out of his way to do anything for it. I have no expectations of course.

Ooh, exciting. Where does it take place - have you been to one before?

Personally I prefer to be slightly over dressed than slightly under, when it comes to dating type scenarios. I think mostly because I enjoy the opportunity to put my glad rags on - and definitely feel more confident the more spruced up I am!

I would go with whatever outfit you will enjoy wearing the most - and something that you feel express who you are, if that makes sense? X

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:31

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 19:13

I have a new iron, Mr Rigger. We have matched before, on Bumble, and just rematched on Hinge. He is very attractive, super fit and we do several sports in common - although he does them at a much higher level. He admitted he deleted me on Bumble when I took too long to reply to him, because apparently he's sick of being ghosted.

After a bit of chatting today on Hinge we had a video call this evening and got on surprisingly well. I get the impression, though, that he feels messed around by women who don't want to commit - and is impatient as a result - hence he deleted me earlier. His profile states very clearly that he wants monogamy and wants to share his life with someone, especially all the outdoor stuff he does (which I do a lot of). On the call he didn't apologise for the earlier deletion - just reiterated that he wanted to share his life with someone.

Is this impatience a big red flag? Or just a symptom of modern OLD?

Edited

Ooh, tricky one. I find that if irons express TOO much negativity about dating (for example those profiles that read "don't bother to swipe right if you aren't going to reply" etc etc ) gives me immediate ick.

It's not that I don't feel the same - it's just that I think first impressions count and it doesn't kill someone to try and put their most positive foot forwards....

So I just wonder if his negativity might start to grate? Having said that, if you like lots of other things about him.....

CleanShirt · 08/09/2026 19:35

Mr CS is really starting to lack in the Comms department... Wondering if I need to have a conversation of just get over myself.

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:39

Thanks so much everyone for your well wishes re. Mom (this truly is such a lovely, supportive space). She has an ECG and other tests tomorrow so we will know a bit more then. She is convinced there is something wrong with her heart, but I (and, I suspect, her Dr) wonder if he symptoms aren't more down to very understandable anxiety/depression, having lost my dad (her hushand of 53 years!) in Jan.... But we will see.

My lovely FWB has kindly come to stay for a couple of nights to help me out if I need lifts, pet care etc - and though the primary aim of his visit is support, the chemistry between us remains as strong as ever. (In fact possibly even stronger - he has got dreadlocks since I last saw him which make him look stunning, like some sort of Pagan God....) . It's a bit bitter sweet though, as I am aware that if things work out with Mr Cricket I may soon have to part with FWB, or at least ratchet down our friendship to be more of a warm acquaintanceship..... To be honest, I am at a point in my life where I will only commit to exclusivity if the guy is TOTALLY worth it, andaybe that's a strong position to be in? 🤞

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 20:02

Oh, I had the weirdest dating-relatrd dream last night.

I was stressed about mom and couldn't sleep so I decided to distract my brain by inventing and telling myself stories about what my life would be like in 10 years time if I was in a relationship with each of my "love interests" (to use the term loosely) . I included dd's dad, Mr Cricket, FWB, FWB2 who I broke off with a little while back, and two platonic male friends who expressed an interest when I became single but I politely rebuffed as have no chemistry with either..... So six stories in all with varying degrees of stress/boredom/poverty/misery involved in each. It was entertaining though!

But when I finally fell asleep, I had a vivid dream in which I was dating several of them at once (possibly all? At least three). I was incredibly stressed because a) I was cheating which I have always thought I would hate as, apart from anything else, SO STRESSFUL! and b) I couldn't remember/work out which one was the actual main partner, and which ones were the affair partners......

Don't think it would take a dream analysis expert to work out that this reflects a degree of guilt and romantic confusion on my part.....🤣🤣🤣

AlwaysCarrieSATC · 08/09/2026 20:06

CleanShirt · 08/09/2026 19:35

Mr CS is really starting to lack in the Comms department... Wondering if I need to have a conversation of just get over myself.

Oh no I thought things were going well?

Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:17

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 18:21

@MsJinks Premium FWB really made me laugh! 5 months is a good run, I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying things at least.

@IlovelurchersSorry to hear about your mum 💐 Hope thing are better soon.

@Nosdacariad What’s the story with Tractors, do you think you will meet up again? Sounds like you’re not so enthusiastic…? I don’t think you’re being shallow at all btw!

@MsJinks Happy to hear things are going well with Mr T!

Wear the dress. You may as well take the opportunity!

Tractors texts but has not offered a second date. Meh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:18

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 19:13

I have a new iron, Mr Rigger. We have matched before, on Bumble, and just rematched on Hinge. He is very attractive, super fit and we do several sports in common - although he does them at a much higher level. He admitted he deleted me on Bumble when I took too long to reply to him, because apparently he's sick of being ghosted.

After a bit of chatting today on Hinge we had a video call this evening and got on surprisingly well. I get the impression, though, that he feels messed around by women who don't want to commit - and is impatient as a result - hence he deleted me earlier. His profile states very clearly that he wants monogamy and wants to share his life with someone, especially all the outdoor stuff he does (which I do a lot of). On the call he didn't apologise for the earlier deletion - just reiterated that he wanted to share his life with someone.

Is this impatience a big red flag? Or just a symptom of modern OLD?

Edited

Feels a bit red flaggy like he thinks he's owed.
Try saying no to something tiny and see how he reacts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:20

CleanShirt · 08/09/2026 19:35

Mr CS is really starting to lack in the Comms department... Wondering if I need to have a conversation of just get over myself.

Oh has he dropped back his effort? How long has it been now?

I think you're entitled to want good comms 🩵

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:22

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:39

Thanks so much everyone for your well wishes re. Mom (this truly is such a lovely, supportive space). She has an ECG and other tests tomorrow so we will know a bit more then. She is convinced there is something wrong with her heart, but I (and, I suspect, her Dr) wonder if he symptoms aren't more down to very understandable anxiety/depression, having lost my dad (her hushand of 53 years!) in Jan.... But we will see.

My lovely FWB has kindly come to stay for a couple of nights to help me out if I need lifts, pet care etc - and though the primary aim of his visit is support, the chemistry between us remains as strong as ever. (In fact possibly even stronger - he has got dreadlocks since I last saw him which make him look stunning, like some sort of Pagan God....) . It's a bit bitter sweet though, as I am aware that if things work out with Mr Cricket I may soon have to part with FWB, or at least ratchet down our friendship to be more of a warm acquaintanceship..... To be honest, I am at a point in my life where I will only commit to exclusivity if the guy is TOTALLY worth it, andaybe that's a strong position to be in? 🤞

That's a great position to be in. He sounds dreamy. Fingers crossed your Ma has nothing too serious xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:26

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 20:02

Oh, I had the weirdest dating-relatrd dream last night.

I was stressed about mom and couldn't sleep so I decided to distract my brain by inventing and telling myself stories about what my life would be like in 10 years time if I was in a relationship with each of my "love interests" (to use the term loosely) . I included dd's dad, Mr Cricket, FWB, FWB2 who I broke off with a little while back, and two platonic male friends who expressed an interest when I became single but I politely rebuffed as have no chemistry with either..... So six stories in all with varying degrees of stress/boredom/poverty/misery involved in each. It was entertaining though!

But when I finally fell asleep, I had a vivid dream in which I was dating several of them at once (possibly all? At least three). I was incredibly stressed because a) I was cheating which I have always thought I would hate as, apart from anything else, SO STRESSFUL! and b) I couldn't remember/work out which one was the actual main partner, and which ones were the affair partners......

Don't think it would take a dream analysis expert to work out that this reflects a degree of guilt and romantic confusion on my part.....🤣🤣🤣

Dream analysis would probably say something unrelated like you can't decide what colour bedding to buy.

I can hear dear late DH saying it probably means you had cheese for dinner.

I dreamed last night that I was back in planes' arms (wings?) and we were back together. It was heaven. Before I woke he had already disappointed me though. I still woke up sad.

OP posts:
BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 20:27

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:39

Thanks so much everyone for your well wishes re. Mom (this truly is such a lovely, supportive space). She has an ECG and other tests tomorrow so we will know a bit more then. She is convinced there is something wrong with her heart, but I (and, I suspect, her Dr) wonder if he symptoms aren't more down to very understandable anxiety/depression, having lost my dad (her hushand of 53 years!) in Jan.... But we will see.

My lovely FWB has kindly come to stay for a couple of nights to help me out if I need lifts, pet care etc - and though the primary aim of his visit is support, the chemistry between us remains as strong as ever. (In fact possibly even stronger - he has got dreadlocks since I last saw him which make him look stunning, like some sort of Pagan God....) . It's a bit bitter sweet though, as I am aware that if things work out with Mr Cricket I may soon have to part with FWB, or at least ratchet down our friendship to be more of a warm acquaintanceship..... To be honest, I am at a point in my life where I will only commit to exclusivity if the guy is TOTALLY worth it, andaybe that's a strong position to be in? 🤞

That’s lovely that he’s doing that And that’s totally a great place to be. I feel the same!

CleanShirt · 08/09/2026 20:27

Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:20

Oh has he dropped back his effort? How long has it been now?

I think you're entitled to want good comms 🩵

Show quote history

I'm being left on read a lot... Particularly over the last couple of days. Really makes me anxious.

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 20:29

Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:22

That's a great position to be in. He sounds dreamy. Fingers crossed your Ma has nothing too serious xxx

Show quote history

Yes @Ilovelurchers, I agree with @Nosdacariad - great position to be in re Mr Cricket - with the support you're getting from exDH and FWB no temptation to settle.

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 20:31

Ilovelurchers · 08/09/2026 19:29

Ooh, exciting. Where does it take place - have you been to one before?

Personally I prefer to be slightly over dressed than slightly under, when it comes to dating type scenarios. I think mostly because I enjoy the opportunity to put my glad rags on - and definitely feel more confident the more spruced up I am!

I would go with whatever outfit you will enjoy wearing the most - and something that you feel express who you are, if that makes sense? X

Show quote history

It’s at a rooftop bar in the city centre tomorrow evening. So need to layer up as may be outside, but also don’t think wearing lots of jumpers and baggy clothes will do me any favours! I think I will go with the dress and boots, both are chocolate brown and the wool coat is cream so think it will look polished but hopefully not too OTT.

Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 20:40

Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:18

Feels a bit red flaggy like he thinks he's owed.
Try saying no to something tiny and see how he reacts?

Show quote history

I explained my reasons for wanting more comms before meeting in person and he accepted that immediately. He has been separated for four years and I think is upset he hasn't found that elusive perfect partner yet.

I didn't begin to tell him that on and off over almost three years I'd had more than 40+ dates and several false starts...

Original poster
Nosdacariad · 08/09/2026 20:41

CleanShirt · 08/09/2026 20:27

I'm being left on read a lot... Particularly over the last couple of days. Really makes me anxious.

Show quote history

I feel like that's at best careless and at worst rude. Do you feel able to bring it up?

How long has it been now?

OP posts:
Chocolatefreak · 08/09/2026 20:42

BoxOfCats · 08/09/2026 20:31

It’s at a rooftop bar in the city centre tomorrow evening. So need to layer up as may be outside, but also don’t think wearing lots of jumpers and baggy clothes will do me any favours! I think I will go with the dress and boots, both are chocolate brown and the wool coat is cream so think it will look polished but hopefully not too OTT.

Show quote history

@BoxOfCats Sounds very chic! Best of luck!