The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Urgh after a few hours of being back on the apps I’ve remembered I do not like them … when I’m swiping it’s like that scene on the Grinch … “loathe”… “hate” 😂

and what’s with blokes adding an unnecessary O on the end of their names. Jimbo, Danno etc

Morning ☺️
@Thiswillbefun i would wait before asking about a second date if he’s about to go on holiday. I’m not understanding if you consider the not on Hinge anymore a problem ?

@Nosdacariad you are right no time frame has been given. That you should write 5 years leads me to think that the outside point of view is I should be patient with this. The inside view ie mine is I don’t know how much longer I can do it. However nice he is one night a week sandwiched between exhausting shifts at work isn’t enough. The communication in between is perfunctory and I’m coming to feel pointless as it’s just how are you, I miss you and other inanities. Whilst he is more than justified in wanting to make up for 15 years away from being near his parents I don’t like where it’s leaving me. I’m shying away from the fact I actually spend as much time feeling shit about not seeing him as I do feeling good when I’m with him and the aftermath of that.

@AlwaysCarrieSATC or they add ey on the end eg Clarkey , you never see women doing it !

@comingintomyownhe has just messaged to say he will finalise his holiday plans today and then we can make plans to meet up. He then said how much he enjoyed our first date. So exciting but in tender hooks!! I was wondering he he had just unmatched me but I think maybe he has deleted it. I might leave it untouched until the 2nd date. I won't meet lawyer if I have a 2nd date planned.

With the French man could the in-between bits be improved with video calls etc? Sorry if I missed you trying this.

Oh that is exciting but I still might meet the flakey lawyer …

We have had the odd phone call but I don’t really like the phone and he hasn’t suggested it much, I don’t why it doesn’t work for me

@AlwaysCarrieSATC that additional O is giving blokey/laddish vibes.

@comingintomyown that was how I was feeling about Planes, spending more time feeling anxious/annoyed than happy. It's not how it should be and I wonder if it would be a whole different thing if he was attentive in between 💐💐💐

@Nosdacariad How annoying about the ex. But agree, definite bullet dodged if he's going to be constantly trying to appease his ex 🙄

@comingintomyown sorry to hear you're feeling so blue at the long weekends. It seems you're getting a bit more upset as time goes on so maybe that's your answer to how you need to proceed.

@thiswillbefun that all sounds great
Long may it continue to make you happy.

I had a long day yesterday. Mr (bad) teeth had invited me for a cocktail making class & lunch and had a really fun time. Was out with him 1-7pm. Was awkward when the chat about what we want came up. I don't want to hurt his feelings so haven't gone down the 'no spark' route but have been very honest that I'm having fun dating and want to continue to date others.
Then met a friend in the local and Mr Italian joined for a good while (friend left earlier). Well Jesus I had the face worn off me and don't think there's an inch of me that wasn't pawed. In me local for goodness sake!! He wanted.to get a hotel and I explained I'm more of a 3 months than 3 dates type. on that note...I'm terrified of the idea of sex again. Since 1994 I have only been with my ex H, and no one since we split in 2018. I was never one for casual sex but now think maybe I just need a drunken one night stand with some rando where I can tiptoe out after he falls asleep! If I try to think about having sex, it's inevitably ex H I think of 🙃

@comingintomyownI think I will carry on talking to the lawyer, if he initiates, but not see him. I like Mr Post and want the see if it goes anywhere.

I never liked phone calls but since internet dating I have discovered that I do. My ex was hard work on the phone so it felt awkward. Some of the dates have been super chatty and it has been great to talk on the phone.

@CountBoscoTheSecondsWifeI was similar as in last first sex with my ex over 20 years ago. I had a weekend long date with someone who had no prospects long term and I am so glad I did. I know now how best to approach it when I do it properly 😉

@CountBoscoTheSecondsWife I'm sure you'll find the right way to adapt to sex with a new man - out of interest how did he react when you said three months rather than three dates?

Hmm another iron. Mr Tractors.

Fb pics with partner on 15th of this month.

That's not even two weeks ago right?

@Nosdacariad you're having some bad luck lately. But I've noticed even women posting pictures with their exes son dating profile's. The mind boggles 🤷.

You deserve some luck shortly, sure to god.

Thanks @MrFlintstone yes I don't think it's gender-specific but it is probs related to their capacity for consequential thought.

It's the same (gift, frankly) as having an open fb profile that uses the same pics as the dating profile where they've also posted racist/xenophobic stuff on fb. I expect some women do that too.

Hi all - so much to catch up on! @Nosdacariadand anyone - been in Edinburgh with 3 of my kids plus one of their husbands (well only one is married actually) - fantastic weekend. Saw Jon Bon Jovi, who gave me one of my best fucking nights of the decade at least lol! He rocked Murrayfield. Also saw the tattoo which was absolutely awesome. Bit of the Fringe and food and drinks and little sleep - if life was like this all the time I wouldn’t need a man in it lol!
Awkward comms with Mr T over weekend - as so often - but he seems keen to see me tomorrow so all still good.
I will catch up properly now but everyone remember we are the prize!

Glad you've had a riot in Edinburgh @MsJinks - sounds ace.

How were comms awkward, glad you get to catch up tomorrow xxx

Flipping heck it gets worse I’ve just had the most formal first message ever which I presume he copies and pastes and just replaces the woman’s name “I’ve reviewed your profile, you have a nice smile, it would be good to message some before discussing a date”

Nooooo

I would reply "message away"

@Nosdacariad fairly true to form for most men. If they haven't already been looking for a new woman they immediately start looking when their marriage/relationship breaks down. It's very rare that a man seems to be genuinely single for a while before looking again. That seems to be much more common for women. Why is it that men just can't take some time for a bit of self reflection before moving on?

Oh wow! Imagine what the chat would be like on a date. Seems like the type of person who’d order tap water on a date 😂 (I’ve been know. To drink tap water though with meals out, so who am I to judge 😂).

There's a difference between drinking tap water and making it one's whole personality 😁

@Nosdacariad🤣

So Mr. Post messaged to say where he was going on holiday and it is far. He was arranging flights etc and my reply hasn't been delivered. Something is bizarre. Going to try and meet Mr Lawyer this week to see how it is in person. There is Mr Tennis too who is keen for a chat...

Good to keep going with Mr Lawyer and Mr Tennis.

Can you see his "last seen" MrPost? Maybe his phone is off? Out of signal?

@Nosdacariadmy last message is undelivered. The last message he sent was he would have to wait a while to see me. Let's see if he reemerges and in the meantime.....

@Nosdacariadha ha he has literally just messaged me!

Good news 😘