The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Thank you 💐

Still no chat with MrC?

I had a date arranged last night and I cancelled. I feel guilty but I just wasn't in the right mindset. I was having a really stressful day at work and just wanted to spend the evening watching the new series I've started, and not having to talk to anyone. I know that makes me sound horribly anti social.

I'm just finding it so much effort. I was happy with the point I'd got to with Mr Forest, we were at the point it was feeling quite nice and comfortable and we could be ourselves. The apps are just too much right now, it's all the constant mindless conversation and trying to remember what you've said to each person, and figuring out who is actually genuine. I just want to skip to the point where I've found someone decent and things are going well, but right now I don't have the headspace for the earlier stages. I'm just so socially awkward around people I dont know and I find it exhausting. And it's been a week since I ended things with Mr Forest after him 'not feeling 100%' about me, I think that's really knocked my confidence too. Basically I just want to give up and accept that I'll be alone forever 😂

🍌🍌🍌 @BananaPopcorn

Sending so much love.

What you say describes exactly how I feel right now.

I even considered asking beered out for coffee.

You did exactly the right thing, in the split and in cancelling the date - how did the date take it?

@BananaPopcorn and @Nosdacariad if you aren’t feeling it then you are doing the best thing having a break.. I’ve just had a month off and getting back to it next week, but agree the early part is hard and mind numbing so I’m not overly looking forward to it

@BananaPopcorn and @Nosdacariad I felt like that so so many times over the year but after being single for 16 years I knew it wasn’t just going to happen irl. This may sound like arrogance but I always thought well if I'm on here why shouldn’t someone of equal quality be on here I just need to trudge on 😂

I do agree though the repetition, meanly some of the pics, the ages of people messaging you but worst for me the openers if you actually found someone you wanted to message wtf to say. I also had to quickly get used to guys I messaged or liked not returning the favour. And also the saddos, this very sweet but frankly elderly and also living in Wales to my Herts used to like me every day I mean really what was the point !

Mind numbing is a great description of the early days and dumb chats.
I caught up to page 6 so far and then read the last few pages. You seem like a great bunch of intelligent and witty women and thank you for the welcomes.
It'll take a while for me to get used to the usernames and the names of the irons.
I messaged Mr Italian this morn just saying I was tired and felt I was still half asleep but should be fully awake by 7pm! (I hadn't answered his last text last night) and he replied that he'd had a very busy morning and would be asleep by 7pm, with a smiley emoji. I thought it may be setting the scene to renege on our 7pm drink but nothing further. I'm going to get ready anyway and will drag a friend out for a drink if he does cancel.
@Nosdacariad I completely get needing to look fabulous around exes, I'm the same.
PS I like the sound of the French guy and would also stick it out.
PPS I was stupid to miss the teeth thing! I still sometimes get surprised by a bald noggin in the final pic despite the previous 4 being be-hatted 🙄

@CountBoscoTheSecondsWife I don't mind bald...but I do mind toothless 😁

😀
It's not a great minglement!

New iron. Date Monday lunchtime. Mr Paint.

@Nosdacariadhow exciting!

Mr London didn't happen yesterday due to the train due to meet today and he had a headache?!

Mr Post Office tomorrow - excited for this one!

Mr Young back up FWB :)

@Nosdacariad
Yaay, hope he's great. Look forward to the update

@Thiswillbefun
Go you! Your username seems apt!

I enjoyed a lovely date with Mr Italian. And some nice kisses. Feels somewhat odd to be kissing a guy in a pub and on the street at 50yo! My kids talk about how cringe it is if a couple are kissing in the pub!!

Ugh it's hard isn't it. Have you met someone now or are you still on the apps?

Oooh how exciting!

He was really nice about it and said he'd love to rearrange for next week when I'm free. I'm not sure. Part of me thinks I should because the conversation has actually been really good. He's chatty, we have things in common, he takes an interest and asks me things about myself. So I should be feeling quite good about this one but I'm just not. The thought if having to go back out and have the awkwardness of a first date again fills me with dread. I just want someone I'm familiar and comfortable with, but I know I won't get that without putting the work in at first. I think maybe I'm the issue here 😂

I'm absolutely not fully healed from my relationship with my husband/kids father which I know is probably playing a big part here!

@BananaPopcorn I don’t think you have to be fully healed so long as it doesn’t affect too much how you are showing up for someone new

good luck xx

He had a headache?! Has he time travelled from pre-aspirin times? And that's a LONG time ago. He must be a cave man. A drippy one.

Make the most of it and please go ahead and embarass your kids! I embarass mine by breathing.

Will there be a second date?

You know yourself best but honestly I think as he was kind, a date might be EXACTLY what you need even or especially if nothing further comes of it 😘😘😘💐

Your kids would’ve cringed at me on a date with a guy recently….pub kissing that resulted in us being slid a bag of condoms by a group of guys 😂

Ha!
This actually was the second date. We both seem keen to meet again but I'll wait for him to ask; I'm old fashioned like thar.

@empirebiscuits12 that's frickin hilarious 😂

@Nosdacariadagreed - he is a non-starter!

Well 5 min on fb reveals Mr Paint has pics with a pretty age appropriate blonde ten days ago.

Could be friend or family, obv.

I may have enquired as to how long he has been single 😁

I felt comfortable with my parner straight away. No butterflies. He makes me feel calm. So if youre not feeling good about that one. Keep looking. You will find the right one.

Yeah im on healing from my kids dad.

I wrote him a letter then burnt it. Felt very satisfying.

Same here @Wynter25 - I've been 100% myself with Mr CS from the start, which is rare for me. Mr M used to put me in anxiety spirals!!