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Relationships

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Partner kept a kink secret and now I feel misled

189 replies

Salmiacchew · Yesterday 19:28

I’m in a relatively new relationship (less than a year). Things have been great and he’s been an amazing partner so I can’t complain (until now).

I found out now that he has a secret kink or affinity that he never even mentioned. It only came out when someone else alluded to it in my presence and I asked about it. He seemed embarrassed and said that he didn’t know how and when mention it yet. I let it go at the time but I’ve been thinking about it and getting quite angry.

The things that bother me is that he didn’t tell me about it and it hurts me, because it is clear that previous partners knew about it. It also makes me wonder if I even know him at all or what else he might be hiding, and I’m so mad at the thought that I might have wasted almost a year on someone who kept secrets.

And yes, I will be launching a Clare’s Law request just in case. I’m also considering contacting the person who flippantly made the remark/ joke in the first place to see if it aligns with what he told me. But I’m just mad right now. Things were going too well and I was wondering where the catch was.

OP posts:
Dozer · Today 08:56

No one has to tell new partners about their sexual past, but probably he didn’t mention it sooner so you’d fall in love with him without or before having the information.

It’d be a deal breaker for many. If it is for you that’s OK.

Salmiacchew · Today 09:00

I’ve been thinking about this all night and have decided that I will just talk to him properly to see if I’m ok with this or not. I still feel hurt that he kept it hidden but there is no point dwelling on it. Whilst he is a great listener he is absolutely dreadful at talking about his own personal matters.

He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself. This is not “just” violent porn but also other things. I’ve obviously been thinking back about some things and conversations and just can’t help thinking that I probably really misjudged the moments.

On the other hand he has not shown me any sign of aggression or tried to push me to do things that I have not been comfortable with.

I think he was embarrassed about it and I was upset so we probably didn’t have the best conversation about it. I will speak to him later because and I want to understand how this would impact us in the long run. I really want to be with him but I don’t want to build a relationship with someone who might be missing out and who will then get it somewhere else.
Thank you all, and sorry for having been so confusing on my thread.

OP posts:
seawitchandgarden2 · Today 09:00

I would assume it was some kind of warning from the ex that potentially his kink will become hard to repress and might blight your sex life and relationship in the future.

A sadist needs to look for a willing partner with a masochist kink and be open about their preferences from the start, no hide them.

It does not sound like something which is appealing or natural to you so I would dump him and save yourself a lot of future angst.

Men with real kinks don't change or lose their kinks overnight.

Goditsmemargaret · Today 09:07

I can't believe his ex wife brought it up in the company of you and her partner. That's a power move if ever I saw one; I know him better than you, our intimate past is ever present.

I really wouldn't be that keen on continuing this current setup. Do they have children together?

As for the 'kink' - maybe he's not into it anymore. I used to love being spanked. If DH tried it I'd probably phone the police.

Seriestwo · Today 09:08

Ick.

F63C · Today 09:11

Salmiacchew · Today 09:00

I’ve been thinking about this all night and have decided that I will just talk to him properly to see if I’m ok with this or not. I still feel hurt that he kept it hidden but there is no point dwelling on it. Whilst he is a great listener he is absolutely dreadful at talking about his own personal matters.

He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself. This is not “just” violent porn but also other things. I’ve obviously been thinking back about some things and conversations and just can’t help thinking that I probably really misjudged the moments.

On the other hand he has not shown me any sign of aggression or tried to push me to do things that I have not been comfortable with.

I think he was embarrassed about it and I was upset so we probably didn’t have the best conversation about it. I will speak to him later because and I want to understand how this would impact us in the long run. I really want to be with him but I don’t want to build a relationship with someone who might be missing out and who will then get it somewhere else.
Thank you all, and sorry for having been so confusing on my thread.

Yikes.

If he took the pain himself it would be something redeeming.

This speaks right to his character.

Queenncat · Today 09:14

'He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself.'

Shocker. Ffs - please get away from this piece if sht. There will be someone out there for you, a man who won't take pleasure in physically hurting and degrading you.

malefields · Today 09:21

It will depend on what degrees of pain, what subjects etc but overall I’d be worried because realistically, the kink isn’t going anywhere and if you’re not integrating it into your sex life (which is valid, obviously) he’ll just end up finding an outlet for it and generally it will come in the form of cheating.

Plus these kinks tend to grow in experimentation. I know we tend to make snap judgments online but… run a mile.

Dery · Today 09:25

“He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself. This is not “just” violent porn but also other things. I’ve obviously been thinking back about some things and conversations and just can’t help thinking that I probably really misjudged the moments.”

Ah - this would trouble me and, as i posted upthread, DH and i have engaged in some light BDSM. Done properly, it’s actually very respectful and it is the sub who truly holds the power. But this sounds founded in disrespect.

Seriestwo · Today 09:28

Ask him if he’d like to choke you and whether he knows about how dangerous it is. He’ll likely say it’s very safe because he knows what he is going - because these people all say the same thing. Have a Google of non fatal strangulation beforehand, and understand the latent effect and how many women have strokes weeks after this sort of sexual activity.

remeber that paraphilias cluster and escalate.

lots of people enjoy bdsm, but he hasn’t told you in a year, or even given you a copy of the terrible 50 shades of grey as an opener to a bit of spanking? That’s weird.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · Today 09:29

PyongyangKipperbang · Today 00:03

Its very clear that there are a lot of posters on here who don't understand what BDSM is and how it is done within a respectful relationship, @Salmiacchew being one of them. I do, not because it is my thing (it isnt) but because my ex BIL and SIL were very much into that and SIL and I were very close and she told me about it. It was an eye opener for sure, not for what they do but how respectful it is. She has never ever felt forced or coerced into sex for example, whereas most women on here will say that they have at some point, if only to "shut him up".

The whole point, as others have said, is that the sub is the one truly in control. It isnt about "getting off on hurting women" its about "getting off on them getting off". So if the sub isnt enjoying it then there is no enjoyment for the dom. Its called "safe word" for a reason. "No" ALWAYS means no in a card carrying sub/dom relationship.

This kink that many couples happily participate in, in loving respectful LTR's, is not the red flag many people think it is!

Would I do it? No. But would I assume a man who brought it up with me in the context of our relationship was a pervy wrong 'un who needed looking into, also no! All it would mean to me is that we are mismatched sexually so would probably be better off looking elsewhere, and that is exactly what I think the OP should do. Her shock and disgust, compared to his ex thinking its funny and no biggie, suggests that long term this wont work out. No fault on either side, just a mismatch.

ETA....I dont believe that the OP has actually confirmed whether it is ManDom WomanSub. Very often it is the other way around (according to SIL, there were more men getting "punished" at the clubs they went to). I wonder what the reactions would be if she confirmed that he wanted her to hurt him.

Edited

I've read and occasionally commented on an American chat site for relationships that was established by a woman who wanted to encourage female sex-positivity, to help women become liberated about sex and their sexual desires and to live their best sexual lives. All admirable goals. I read it for a long time and learned a lot. Including about BSDM and poly, and the rules around both, particularly safe words, ongoing honest communication etc. The woman who established the site was both poly and a BDSM sub.

She'd also been violently raped and beaten into a coma by her father when she was 4.

I admired her for not only surviving this but also managing to live a somewhat functional life. But it was clear that her first sexual experience had irrevocably shaped what sex would come to mean for her later. She also eventually could not hold at bay what had been done to her as a child, she became increasingly mentally unwell, and the site had to be taken over by others.

And I see this everywhere, women trying to resolve the trauma that they received at the hands of men/patriarchy in their formative years by trying to rewrite it, by playing it out in their sexual life, by becoming subs.* The same is true for male subs.

I understand this. But I do NOT understand doms or why anyone would like to hurt and humiliate others, regardless of how much the sub wants it and whether it is with respect and with code words and the dom is actually doing everything at the behest of the sub. How can a dom get literally aroused by this? It's basically exploiting the mental and emotional harm that was inflicted on someone as a child so you can imagine yourself to be powerful.

BDSM should not be seen a a cool kink. It's not at all cool, it's based on psychological compulsion and it's weird and disturbing. The normalisation of BDSM as a 'cool' kink has led to an explosion of choking, hair pulling, slapping, and violent sex in porn, with young blokes now thinking that this is the way sex should be done and young women getting brain damage from it.

And then when people point out how weird and creepy BDSM is, and they don't want any part of it in their own sex lives, they're sneered at as being "prudish" and "vanilla". And that they should "try it".

The majority of people like uncomplicated sex that simply gives them a great orgasm, that feels good. They don't want to be hurt, or to hurt. That's healthy, pleasant, lovely sex. THAT should be/remain normalised.

*A recent example in the Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/feb/08/sex-addict-spent-years-meeting-strangers-masochistic-hook-ups

I spent years meeting strangers for masochistic hook-ups. Was I a sex addict?

After a sexually frustrating marriage led to divorce, I chased increasingly extreme BDSM encounters. But I never felt truly satisfied. Had I been looking for the wrong thing all along?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/feb/08/sex-addict-spent-years-meeting-strangers-masochistic-hook-ups

Iamnotalemming · Today 09:30

I don't think I could enjoy being intimate with a man who might be fantasising about me being hurt and getting off on it. It would be a deal breaker for me. Let alone the risk he might be tempted to act on those thoughts. Sorry OP.

LeebLeefuhLurve · Today 09:32

OP, you don't need to talk to him to see if you are ok with this or not.

This man has a violent paraphilia and he has deliberately kept it from you, long enough for you to start developing feelings for him and assume that he is wonderful. Who knows, the deception may have even been a turn on for him.

'Kinksters' 🙄enjoy waxing lyrical about how everything is respectful and about consent, but, you were not given the opportunity to go into this relationship with all the important information. A fetish is extremely relevant.

Vanilla is used as an insult, fuck that. Vanilla is aromatic, complex and classic.

ThatCosy · Today 09:38

I wouldn't be near anyone who wanted to hurt and humiliate others. Saying that it's a sexual thing doesn't make it different.

Blummingorgeous · Today 09:41

OP I couldn’t fancy someone with a kink like this - someone who gets sexual pleasure from others’ pain is a sadist. I hate how the term kink is used to completely normalise dangerous sexual acts perpetrated on women. Yes they may be able to compartmentalise it to purely sexual situations, but even so, I could not look at him in the eye knowing the kind of degradation of women he enjoys sexually, or knowing the kind of porn he is watching to engage in this solo (unless he uses sex workers or has some kind of sex slave he pays for). Really inappropriate of ex wife to joke openly about this - but I would heed it as more a warning than a territorial put down to you. Actually not so sure - regardless of how chummy they are - I think I’d want to give them both a real swerve. She seems a bit too invested in their friendship & is sabotaging yours with comments like this. Leave them both in the dust. The combination is grim x

Seriestwo · Today 09:46

“I have a kink”
v
”I am sexually aroused by hurting women”

thats where I get stuck with the whole “the sub has control” thing. Ok, fair enough, consenting adults, don’t yuk my yum, and all that.

but hurting women, purposefully, and looking. Forward to it and thinking of all the different ways in which you can hurt women, and it’s not a crime because “she consented, m’lud” - ick.

Dandelionroots · Today 09:51

I went out with one like this. Found out his commonly known sadism tendancies about 6 months in. It was a well known thing he'd just not mentioned.

It clearly hadn't been an important part of his sexuality was my thinking, or it would have come up already... Anyway. When it came out, I agreed to try it. Didn't mind it. It became the only way he could have sex with me. He started strangling me. Sometimes this was completely unexpected - he'd just strangle me unconscious unexpectedly on the bus, in town. He raped me, unpleasantly, it left lasting damage. It turned into a completely abusive relationship, horribly so. He never sought consent. He ignored all safe words.

I was just a human sex toy who was brutalised. He nearly killed me accidentally once and I think tried to kill me deliberately once, only he chickened out when I screamed at him to 'fucking do it then!' it was only fun when I was scared of him. It turns out my response to death threats is disgust and fury, not the sort of cringing sexy submission he wanted. I'll never know if he was going to kill me or not.

It was very hard to get away from him. Ultimately, he died of being a fucking idiot shortly after the particularly brutal rape, which got me out. I discovered after his death, that he had a credible plan to trap and dismember me. If the plan was real, it was due to start soon, but he died first... If. If. If... It took me years to get my head back together after. It's a funny feeling, not knowing if someone was going to cut you up while you were alive. Hoping they were just imagining.

This all happened because I chose to be open minded at the start. Then he was too manipulative for me to get away for a while. Then I was too broken to leave; I genuinely saw no life to live for. Now he was clearly highly abusive, but it was actually in very plain sight. It was never hidden - apart from the first couple of months; just cloaked in BDSM. I would never go near a self professed sexual sadist again. Never. They are open that they get off on causing you pain and humiliating you - if you're not just as into that, then it's just pain and humiliation after all. Their whole thing is manipulation and hurting you.

Yours might be very different, but he might not. There are innumerable numbers of these men. Mine knew so many over forums and websites. Seemingly many of them were just like him. They are not safe men.

Seriestwo · Today 09:58

@Dandelionroots im so sorry. I’m glad you are safe from him but sorry you won’t get justice for what he did to you. I hope you are doing ok.

ClairDeLaLune · Today 10:01

Run OP. He wants to hurt you and he’d enjoy it. Get out now.

Onlyme7575 · Today 10:02

Queenncat · Today 09:14

'He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself.'

Shocker. Ffs - please get away from this piece if sht. There will be someone out there for you, a man who won't take pleasure in physically hurting and degrading you.

He sounds vile,no good will ever come of this.

Dandelionroots · Today 10:09

Seriestwo · Today 09:58

@Dandelionroots im so sorry. I’m glad you are safe from him but sorry you won’t get justice for what he did to you. I hope you are doing ok.

Thank you.

The scary bit really is how many people just like him he communicated with over the internet. I'm sure there are the safe, consenting BDSM relationships too, but he knew so many men in so many countries that were just like him. They shared photos, videos, ideas. I think that's where the dismemberment thing came from.

Now he's dead and I've moved on, but some of them are probably still wanking over the photos and videos he sent them of me being raped and beaten. Some people are just sick fuckers. In my view, this is obviously a much higher chance in someone who is already performing a sick fucker though... Not worth the risk if your not into degradation already.

Edit for typo.

Dependsoncontext · Today 10:12

ThatCosy · Today 09:38

I wouldn't be near anyone who wanted to hurt and humiliate others. Saying that it's a sexual thing doesn't make it different.

Exactly, the word "kinks" does not make being a sadist Okay.

20thCenturyFecks · Today 10:13

Is this about BDSM?

Edit: ignore, reread the OPs last post

PinkyFlamingo · Today 10:19

He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself. This is not “just” violent porn but also other things

Toe that's not just a "kink" I think that downplays what you've just said. To actually want to see other people hurt or degraded is psychopathic and cruel. Sexually or non sexually it doesn't matter, it is a deeply disturbing part of their personality. And it doesn't disappear so what he had been doing to get gratification in the year he had been with you I would question. Has there been any hints e.g. has he been testing the waters with you about hurting you in small ways?

BunnyLake · Today 10:22

Salmiacchew · Today 09:00

I’ve been thinking about this all night and have decided that I will just talk to him properly to see if I’m ok with this or not. I still feel hurt that he kept it hidden but there is no point dwelling on it. Whilst he is a great listener he is absolutely dreadful at talking about his own personal matters.

He gets off on witnessing other people’s pain or degradation, not being hurt himself. This is not “just” violent porn but also other things. I’ve obviously been thinking back about some things and conversations and just can’t help thinking that I probably really misjudged the moments.

On the other hand he has not shown me any sign of aggression or tried to push me to do things that I have not been comfortable with.

I think he was embarrassed about it and I was upset so we probably didn’t have the best conversation about it. I will speak to him later because and I want to understand how this would impact us in the long run. I really want to be with him but I don’t want to build a relationship with someone who might be missing out and who will then get it somewhere else.
Thank you all, and sorry for having been so confusing on my thread.

Are you saying you are still weighing up the pros and cons? He’s not shown me this violent side so maybe he’ll be ok with me and just violent, or getting off on violence, to others, is not a ‘pro’. Ye gods, woman!!