Would this freak others out?

[Plankingponyclub]

Because it did freak me out a bit I guess.
Early days but I’m seeing a guy who honestly seems amazing. I’m not the most self confident person and I feel a bit inferior but that’s obviously my problem and not his fault.

Anyway I went to stay over at his for the first time this weekend and whilst the place is beautiful he had some weird stuff around which made me feel uneasy, like old style weapons. And we’re not talking about a nerdy 18 year old basement dweller but a man in his 40s with a good career and really good manners.

I did ask about them, and he explained that it was a hobby. He seems a bit eccentric which is fine, but I think I just don’t understand the interest and it made me feel a bit vulnerable if this makes sense?

He hasn’t given me any other reason to be wary, apart from me wondering why he’d be interested in me considering that we are quite different in some ways, but super compatible in others. I really like him and he seems really keen, too. I don’t want to make this awkward but I think others would find this a bit weird too?

Yes. Horrible. That's what first came to mind tbh. A few others too, they're super dangerous and not as regulated as other long range things you could easily kill someone with (eg a gun). I wouldn't want one in my house and I wouldn't be delighted to visit a house where there was one.

So we’re talking about mediaeval, historical battle type stuff? That wouldn’t bother me in the least. It sounds quite interesting. I’d see it as akin to people who are interested in historical battle reenactments or whatever, and go out at weekends and wave swords and pikestaffs around and fire cannons. People go and look at this stuff in museums every day and make models of tanks and bombers and so on. The church at the top of my road used to host a Viking battle group who met every week and they had replica axes and stuff. They were all lovely.

If he’s popping out to buy brand new modern crossbows and zombie knives like some weird little incel, that’s different - but it just sounds like a historical interest to me.

Obviously you were uncomfortable, though, so don’t see him again if this isn’t for you.

Sounds absolutely creepy. Run for the hills. Crossbows and whips. Good grief. These are a lot worse than collecting world war 2 memorabilia or guns.

This would put me off.

If you do decide to stay in a relationship with him then please apply for a Clare's Law tomorrow.

Was a tank in the driveway?

I once went round a guys place and he had crossbows everywhere.

Just reminded me of the crossbow cannibal killer so I left sharpish.

Is this hobby due to an interest in history or an interest in cool ways to kill people? Does he play video games? There are lots games set in Middle Ages settings. Maybe that’s part of it. If the crossbows make him uncomfortable, you should tell him. Maybe he could put they away before you come over. But asking him to get rid of his things would be unreasonable. Is he worth it?

This

Personally it wouldn’t bother me but I like things like this, my DH regularly moves me on from looking at “cool” swords, knives and things. I don’t buy them as I’m too cheap but I do like looking at collections of these types of things.

im assuming there is a significance to his collection?

🤣 He'd only have a Katana and a Claymore then, and absolutely is lying about his corporate job and his age!

Thanks for the ear worm at 2am 🎼

I’m the opposite of most of the PPs, the swords and knives would keep me out more than the cross bow. Heard of too many murders using daggers and swords.

The beginnings of a potential relationship are for finding out whether you're compatible. You've now discovered you have incompatible views on the ownership of deadly weapons.

Job done. Next! I must admit to being intrigued - but I'm not dating him, you are (or were).

It wouldn't freak me out but it would certainly make me reconsider seeing him.

I've never met a man with an interest in weapons strong enough to collect them or buy mags about them who hasn't, in the end, revealed a bit of a nasty streak in some way. Not necessarily violent, but always a bit vicious.

If I really liked the person otherwise and felt that the relationship has potential I would (away from the property) explain that I really disliked the weapons - that they make me uneasy, and ask if he would be willing to get rid of them.

He is of course entitled to collect what he likes within the law, but you are perfectly entitled to not want to date someone with a weapon collection.

If he's got any sense he would rather have a girlfriend than a weird collection. If his weapons mean a lot to him and he doesn't want to get rid of them then you wouldn't want to date him anyway. If he is serious about you and cares for you he would want you to feel safe.

Hmm, I feel like it could be fine as longnas he was into histoty. People go to gory museums, Tower of London, Clink museum all the time or listen to history podcasts including violence, war, weapons. Plenty of people have an interest in this kind of thing but it doesn't make them psychos. But if they were randomly there and didnt match the personality I would wonder...

Erm my dh is a lot younger and the first thing I ever saw many years ago was crossbows, knives and swords all around his flat but it never occurred to me to be freaked out. He collected and enjoyed that hobby. However as time moved on and I wasn't to keen with them around kids he packed them all away and stored them and there still in storage 20years on. He will go once a month and polish or whatever them and ye not sure why you want to be freaked over them

Is it battle reenactment stuff? Are they real or just made to look real? You haven’t actually said how he explained it, or did he just say ‘it’s a hobby’ and you didn’t ask anything else?

Some of the reactions on here do seem a bit extreme! Most violence against women doesn’t involve weapons. Curious to know if those who have concerns would consider dating someone who did martial arts or combat sports etc?

Yeah, no. Start of horror movie vibes.

What kind of swords, I have 2 friends who collect Japanese swords and they're lovely, like pieces of art 🤷‍♀️

Is he into reenactment maybe?

Is it related to a hobby, or is collecting them the hobby…?

I think it depends on the whole vibe TBH.
My brother collects weapons, Iinc some nazi stuff. But he also has other bits of armor and kit and medals, all displayed. Not to mention a ton of related books and given the chance will want to tell you 'interesting' facts!
Consequently he just comes across as really nerdy!😆

It doesn't matter if other people would be OK with his weapons hobby, you are not. You said it made you feel vulnerable, you should pay attention to that. You will never become self confident if you turn to others to validate your feelings or opinions. We're all different and you are allowed to have different boundaries to other people. Other people do not have to live with the discomfort you feel.

That would put me off. People's interests reflect who they are. Collector of antique books or maps, fine. Weapons? No...

@FOJN "It doesn't matter if other people would be OK with his weapons hobby, you are not. You said it made you feel vulnerable, you should pay attention to that."

^ This

Quite apart from the obvious danger he sounds like Gareth from "The Office" with his nunchuks, ick