Would this freak others out?

[Plankingponyclub]

Because it did freak me out a bit I guess.
Early days but I’m seeing a guy who honestly seems amazing. I’m not the most self confident person and I feel a bit inferior but that’s obviously my problem and not his fault.

Anyway I went to stay over at his for the first time this weekend and whilst the place is beautiful he had some weird stuff around which made me feel uneasy, like old style weapons. And we’re not talking about a nerdy 18 year old basement dweller but a man in his 40s with a good career and really good manners.

I did ask about them, and he explained that it was a hobby. He seems a bit eccentric which is fine, but I think I just don’t understand the interest and it made me feel a bit vulnerable if this makes sense?

He hasn’t given me any other reason to be wary, apart from me wondering why he’d be interested in me considering that we are quite different in some ways, but super compatible in others. I really like him and he seems really keen, too. I don’t want to make this awkward but I think others would find this a bit weird too?

It wouldn’t freak me out as my dad has a similar hobby, but I also understand why you’re freaked out. There’s no right or wrong answer at the end of the day and if it’s not for you it’s not for you. You know what’s right for you and if it makes you uncomfortable you’re well within your rights to talk to him about it or simply not see him again.

Yeah I’m out, too many horror films! Are they on the walls? In a cupboard? Are they ready to go?
I mean why does he have them? What can he tell you about them? They aren’t expensive… does he use them?

The swords wpuldn't bother me but the crossbows would - not sure why.

Because angry men use them to punish women for leaving them.

That sounds rather obsessive, which would bother me.

I don't mind the odd fake or antique weapon on display, some are pieces of family history after all, but wouldn't be a bit dubious about crossbows. Also, the sheer number of weapons you seem to be describing is unusual. Perhaps bordering on obsessive like I said.

Bit weird, but I’d have a conversation about it and see what his explanation was - are there family links, is it a hobby or interest in re-enactment? FWIW I’ve got a WW1 bayonet at home, but I’ve only ever been dumped for my “weird” interest in Star Wars! Maybe you’re just not compatible?

Yep I would run a mile. Especially the crossbows. My DP loves archery and a number of other similar things (not guns) but he keeps his stuff at the archery club and has never brought any home and if he wanted to I would say no, even though he's a very sweet guy. Bad vibes not welcome in my house.

Thanks all.
He did explain and as I said he is a bit eccentric which is totally fine with me. I just felt uncomfortable around the crossbows (there were two), and the whip despite them being hung up. No cabinets but I’m not sure if this would make it much better. At least they are in a separate room.
He’s in a big corporate job so this is obviously a hobby.

At least I am not the only one who feels uneasy about this so thanks

Ah. That clears it up. Corporate people are psychos*

*I am not citing any evidence for this

Has he got one of these in the garden?

I didn’t know how else to describe it.
Anyway, thanks.

Ugh, I may be a bit unimaginative but I can't envisage the mindset that would rather be looking at symbols of violence and terror, than not looking at them.

I would have to say goodbye, I would feel there was such a gulf between my world view (where violence is unpleasant, upsetting and wrong) and his (where violence is so attractive it gets a place of pride on the wall)

Anyone who owns a crossbow is a big red flag in my opinion! Eccentric my arse 😒

I wouldn’t be comfortable with this. What might weapons say about him? Sometimes it’s a weak man’s toys to make himself feel strong.

Wow. Is everyone on here so neurotic? I can't get my head around it.

Sounds very ‘Gladiator’ to me. Maybe he likes that sort of film genre etc

Totally normal to own two crossbows, nothing to worry about I’m sure.

I hate weapons so the collection at his house would make me feel very uneasy and tbh, I don't think I'd be able to go back.

@Plankingponyclub This would make me hugely uncomfortable and I wouldn’t go back. Weapons make me think of violence. I don’t like thinking of violence because it’s horrible and I don’t want to be confronted with tools of violence. I certainly wouldn’t collect them or hang them on a wall. I think that’s horrifying. Your gut is telling you something important. Listen to it. He may actually be very dangerous.

I would be massively freaked out. I would have to end the relationship.

@Plankingponyclubcatch yourself on, Harold Shipman had a professional job. Who in their right mind has crossbows and a whip on display?

I don't think its neurotic and I'm an extremely relaxed an unfearful person - I'll walk around at 2am no problem and invite a stranger into my house if they don't definitely seem dodgy... but a man I barely know with loads of weapons on display? No thanks. Breast case scenario he's just a weird guy who thinks weapons are cool. Still not a great outcome.

Didn’t that guy who killed the racing commentator’s daughters and wife do it with a crossbow?

No I dont think I would want to be too close to weapons thanks very much

this would put me off him.

I have an over active imagination at the best of times and seeing this all lying about would terrify me.