Fiancé says he wishes I was dead

[Luna98]

Hi everyone my fiance and I were arguing and he just came out with I hate you so much I wish you’d die. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to make of it. He said sorry and that he didn’t know what he was saying it was out of anger. He says horrible things when he gets angry then takes it back and says he loves me. Has anyone been through anything similar thanks in advance

Op, why have you posted this rather than leave this horrible man? Can you explain to us why you haven’t left so that we can try to help you?

Mine didn’t say it to me, but I found out he told one ex gf I was an albatross round his neck, and after a row about him having a bit on the side, after we were married, he told me he wished he could afford to pay me off. I left and he chased me for 3 years…we belong together, can’t be without you etc etc still does sometimes.
It’s a small part of general abuse I’d sleepwalked into.

Don’t marry him..everything gets worse once they think they have you tied down , and if he’s like that now? …no..don’t do it. He doesn’t even like you . I’d say he’s probably misogynistic and just likes women around to abuse …he will back track if it looks like you are getting to a point of leaving or withdrawing, but that won’t last. He will keep doing it.

LTB sorry

For the love of god, DO NOT marry this abusive prick. You feel conflicted about leaving him now? Imagine what it will be like when you've been married for a few years with kids and a house. I promise this will escalate.
My H was the absolute perfect man for several years before the abuse started.
I dread to think how your situation will escalate if he's already saying this before you're married!

What if he says that around your children ?? They will be damaged for life hearing their father thinks that about their mother ! Run for the hills OP

What a horrible man
Even more important ask yourself why you would want to marry a horrible man.

This is as good as it gets. This is the honeymoon period when he's trying to impress you because he wants you to make a lofe long commitment. Its only down hill from hear. This is the shit he's saying now imagine what he'll be saying to you when he thinks you are stuck with him. Imagine him saying this shot in front of your kids. Fuck me.... imagine him saying this to your kids.

Yes, it’s called an abusive relationship. Hurt, sorry I didn’t mean it, hurt again.

I’m sorry, OP.

Run whilst you still can. If you marry this waste of oxygen, it will get worse it will get physical if not already and that i wish you would die will become I am going to kill you. That will then escalate to either one of you dies or you forcing yourself to find the strength to leave. Do it now before your whole life is tied to his and its almost impossible to break free.

Run away. Do not marry this nasty piece of work.

am afraid he will say sorry AFTER killing you . Don’t take this lightly . Run 🏃‍♂️

He is abusive and cruel. Please dump him and find somebody who will treat you with the respect and love that you deserve.

No, haven’t experienced similar because this isn’t the symptom of a healthy relationship. You should reconsider your acceptance of his proposal for marriage. This won’t get better.

I have been with my husband for 25 years and we have never said anything like that in any argument, agree with everyone else, take it seriously and find someone better.

If this was your sister, your best friend or your future daughter telling you about this - what would be your gut feeling?

I hope surely you know yourself that this is a dealbreaker. He has shown you his true colours. Painful for you breaking up in the present but you will save yourself a future lifetime of pain with this one.

Dodge this bullet.

Good luck x

Leave. Tell him nobody who says that to anyone can possibly love them or care for them in any real way, and you are done.

I hope you read these replies, OP. In answer to your question: my dad was a sadistic psychopath, I had one verbally and physically abusive husband and one emotionally abusive one. Also a weirdly narcissistic best friend and an insane bully of a boss. All did me serious, lasting harm. None ever told me they wished I was dead.

What your fiancé said is worse than all five of them.

Goodness, thats an awful thing to say. Please end this relationship

Do not marry him. He will get worse not better!

OP, he will erode your self worth until you have nothing left.
Put yourself first, and leave him.

I hope you didn't lose too many deposits when you cancelled the wedding and your relationship. (Though any loss would obviously be a huge investment in your future.) 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Just reading that made me shudder. That’s an extreme thing to say even in the heat of the moment. I would even consider doing a Claire’s Law check on him incase there was anything I needed to know whilst carefully removing myself from the relationship.

If he can't control his verbal abuse then why are you with him?

And surely his brain doesn't just improv on the fly, he has these thoughts or they'd not be so ready in an argument.

I usually think people are being ridiculous on here when they say you should leave over one comment, but I wouldn’t put up with this

It sounds to me like he is unhappy in the relationship, or at least has some very significant resentments or difficulties that he isn't expressing properly.

It is extremely unhealthy that he would shout something like that, even during a very heated argument. I however don't agree with the very simplistic comments above saying that this necessarily means he will be an abusive, awful husband who is going to escalate to beating you etc. That is possible of course, but it can't be determined from what you've said here. Just as likely is that he is emotionally poorly regulated and has deep issues with you and the relationship but doesn't know how to express them properly. You can absolutely love someone and think very negatively about them when arguments and resentments bubble over. This is of course also a bad situation and one that needs to be taken seriously, but I don't think by default you should assume the relationship needs to end.