Fiancé says he wishes I was dead

[Luna98]

Hi everyone my fiance and I were arguing and he just came out with I hate you so much I wish you’d die. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to make of it. He said sorry and that he didn’t know what he was saying it was out of anger. He says horrible things when he gets angry then takes it back and says he loves me. Has anyone been through anything similar thanks in advance

Can you really deal with the thought of a lifetime of abuse like this? You're not even married yet, and it will get worse. Leave before it's too late.

Do you live together, do you have kids together, if not please dump him. If you do live with him you need to leave.

This is only going to get worse until it eventually leads to violence and him getting a kick out of terrifying you with threats to kill you every time he's in a bad mood and needs to take it out on someone.

This is how it starts. They never mean it. They are always pathetic and contrite and desperate afterwards.Full of excuses and apoligies and begging you not to leave. But it will get worse, mark my words.

You need to make plans to leave immediately. What he said is completely unforgivable and there will never, ever be any excuse for it, no matter what else he might say he's going through.

My ex used to say horrible things and then later take them back saying he didn’t mean them but nothing as awful as that.

Also, my ex did mean them. With the clarity of distance I can see that even though he sometimes said he loved me, he didn’t. He was using me, and I think didn’t want the hassle of how much more difficult his life would become without me.

Arguments are only ever to be about the whatever the issue is. Name calling and personality attacks etc is abusive behaviour and he needs to know he is being abusive. Google it. Sadly he is showing exactly who he is. The Gottman Institute have been providing science backed relationship advice since the 1990s.

According to them there are 4 horsemen of the apocalypse behaviours that have about at 92% chance of a relationship not surviving, name calling is one of them. You can find all of this online. I mean if he wants you to die why is he with you? Those are terrifying words out of the mouth of someone who is meant to love you.

He says he loves you….after delivering that vile mouthful? He doesn’t know what love is.

I fear if you go ahead and marry him, sometime in the future you’ll remember the advice given in these posts and wonder why on earth you didn’t walk away when you could/should have. This chap has a nasty nasty temper. You will suffer one way or another if you ‘cross’ him.

This relationship has red flags all over it.

Well now you know that he doesn’t even like you, let alone love you.

I’m sorry you had to find out this way but it’s better than going through with the wedding and spending anymore time on this waste of space.

No, my husband would never say anything like this to me because he lives me.

This man does not love you. Please dump him.

Anyone who loved you could never say this. Please walk away.

You are getting glimpses of the true him. Walk away for your mental and physical good health.

Ex-fiance

Could you say that to anyone you loved OP? No excuses...he lives for the times he can abuse you like that...all the better times are about keeping someone close to accept this nastiness. This isn't love.

Its awful, but also a gift he let this loose before you married. Before children are harmed. Take the gift and flee to a far happier life 🍀

Another one shouting leave

Just leave the twat

I mean those would be the last words I would hear from his mouth before I binned him.

Trust me when I say, being single is a better option than this prince - and surely to God you must know that there are better men out there than this one.

He’s horrible. Don’t marry this twat.

I hope if anyone has they left.

My husband said something really cruel to me. I divorced him.

You should end this but I fear you won't.

The trouble is Op if he says these awful things and then regrets them and begs you to forgive him then it means that in anger he has no control. He doesn't have the ability to see, or doesn't care, what the consequences might be.

This is a scary and dangerous person to be around. You do need to think about what your life will be like married to him.

Assuming your fiancé is not 3 years old and unable to regulate his emotions or operate with logic and reason, you should leave him. He is abusive.

He can’t unsay it, you can’t unhear it but you can believe him and get the f k out of there. The mask will slip if you marry him by which time it will be much harder to escape

He sounds like a psycho please leave him before you end up on a true crime podcast.

Also, I do hope you've done a Clare's Law request. If not you should.

I was just going to post exactly this. One for the ex-files @Luna98 - as soon as possible. Before wishes become actions.

There will come a time when wishing you dead might not be enough for him. He is showing you who he really is in these moments. Believe him. Get out and find someone who rejoices in the fact that you are alive alongside them. x

My ex used to yell "I hope you get cancer and die." Horrible creature who was abusive in many other ways.

That’s chilling when you think about how many women are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every single day.

Do you know that the feeling that keeps many women in abusive relationships isn’t fear, or weakness…it’s pity.

Is that what I can hear in your post? he didn’t know what he was saying it was out of anger. He says horrible things when he gets angry then takes it back and says he loves me

Don’t waste your love, and potentially your life, on someone who imagines you dead. This is probably the moment that a future version of you would wish to time travel back to, and tell you to turn that love and compassion towards yourself and get the hell away from him. Choose yourself. Choose life.

Fucking run 🚩