Fiancé says he wishes I was dead

[Luna98]

Hi everyone my fiance and I were arguing and he just came out with I hate you so much I wish you’d die. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to make of it. He said sorry and that he didn’t know what he was saying it was out of anger. He says horrible things when he gets angry then takes it back and says he loves me. Has anyone been through anything similar thanks in advance

Can you leave him safely?

It sounds like he's already prepared to use you as an emotional punchbag - no one has to tolerate that. An apology is not sufficient - stuff like that should just not be said to a person.

Leave, and be thankful he’s shown you who he really is.

When someone shows you their true self, believe them!
It's not normal to say something like that to the person you supposedly love and want to spend the rest of your life with. If he loses his temper so easily and wishes you were dead, what's to stop him making that a reality in another one of his fits of rage.
I've been married for 20 years and my DH has never once said anything remotely similar to me. If he did, our relationship would be over.
You deserve someone who respects you, and who isn't emotionally abusive.

Please leave. This man will make your life hell if you marry him. He will destroy your mental health. Been there, done that, now trying to stop other women from going through what I did.

He absolutely did know what he was saying and I bet he only speaks like that to you. If he can control his anger at work and in the presence of others, he's doing it on purpose with you. It's a classic abuse tactic and will only get worse. He's testing to see how much you will take. He'll also be super nice to you now as it will incentive you to stay - at least until the next time.

Mine said that to me once.

Still married him, fuck knows why.

Marriage lasted 6 months. Had to live with him for a year after I split up with him. When we were splitting up he threatened to drive us both off the road - we were in the car at the time driving over an isolated moor and he was driving recklessly. 16 years ago now and I still don’t like being a passenger in any car.

After that he bugged my laptop and hacked into my phone.

Don’t ignore the red flags he’s waving at you.

He sounds unstable. Don't even thing about marrying him.

Yeah I've been through the exact same (literally, told to kms then followed by the apologies). It only gets worse. DO NOT marry him for the sake of a wedding. Get out now before you end up as he wishes.

Lots of people have experienced domestic abuse, and more specifically emotional abuse, which is what you are describing. Sadly abuse escalates so it will only get worse. Pregnancy especially is risky as physical abuse often starts or escalates during a pregnancy. Have you spoken to any friend and family about what’s happening? Have you ever completed any work around domestic abuse?

@Luna98 bless you. Ypu must be the same age as my dd.

In summary, he gets angry and wishes you dead.
You aren't married yet and this will likely escalate when you are married. It will escalaye some more when you have a child. A black eye will slither into hands around your neck.

Who's batting for you op? Who can you tell? It won't be long nefore he lays hands on you. Then what? If that happened to dd, her big bro would be round with the first XV.

It's a massive red flag. You are worth much more. Throw this one back, there's no Prince just an aggressive shit.

Let me also ask you; if your daughter came to you and told you her fiance told her he wishes she was dead then said sorry and he loves her... what would you tell her to do?

End this. You deserve better

I hope you have given your head a wobble and he is not your fiancé anymore.

So the wedding's off, right?

Ex-fiance surely?

Surely you mean your ex-Fiancée?

Wtf! This is not a normal thing to say, even during a very heated argument. I would find this really scary and unnerving.

This is scary. Do not marry him! Call off the wedding and the relationship, seek support if need be to do this safely.

For god‘s sake don’t be stupid enough to marry him!!!
If you do, remember this thread, maybe save it, read it back and know where you went wrong. This won’t get better. I’ve been there.

Some men will be with any woman that fulfils their needs, they dont need to like you

This
I’m pleased you haven’t said husband
you need to get rid of him

I’ve been marred over 15 years. My DH and I of course have had arguments but NEVER said anything like that. Please don’t marry someone who behaves like this. Your partner is supposed to be your safe place. And this behaviour is not a one off (which of itself would be unforgivable in my view), it’s a pattern - being angry, saying nasty things, followed by ‘I love you’. Loving someone is not just saying the words but treating someone with care and respect. I can only see this escalating to something even worse. Please end this now. You can’t spend your whole life waiting for the next time he will kick off and be nasty to you. You deserve more.

I've been with my husband for 30 years. He's never sworn at me, shouted or called me a derogatory name. This is how it should be in a loving relationship.

@Luna98 , you can likely relate to this?

Please take heed and get support to leave before it's too late 💐.

I pray you never call this wanker your husband. No matter how many times he apologises, do not accept it. Leave him now. Do you want this prick shouting at your future kids when he is angry.