Name changed so not outing.
Ive been with my partner for 6 years. My kids got on great with him for years, but I’ve noticed that y eldest daughter (14) has recently been really short with him, avoiding interacting and giving him funny looks.
To be honest our relationship is not great anymore, many many issues and resentments and I’ve definitely taken a step back from him as we have been going round in circles over the same issues for so long now, I feel he doesn’t listen, his moods are very up and down and he seems to go back and forth with engaging with us and then not. I feel that he’s not consistent, he used to be actively involved with the kids but as time has went on he comes home from work and spends the rest of his night on his computer. I’m left to do all the bulk work that comes with pre-teens, taxi-ing, school, dinners etc as well as working two jobs. There are many many other issues but too long to explain.
I have sat back and watched this for a while now so I approached her gently a few days ago and asked her how she felt about him, explained I thought I’d noticed she seemed a bit annoyed by him and assured her I would not repeat anything she said to me. She tried to deflect it back to me and ask me how I felt about him but I said that I wanted to know how she felt (I don’t think it’s appropriate as a parent to tell her how I’m feeling at the minute but I also want to be honest with her so it’s hard). She said she’s pretty much sick of him and he makes her cringe 😬 but then said that she feels like that about people sometimes and she’ll probably be ok with him in a few months. I thanked her for being honest and assured her I wouldn’t repeat anything she said and her happiness is my first priority.
I have been hesitant to end the relationship because I’ve been worried about the impact on the kids and my younger child still enjoys his company (when he engages) but now I feel that as one of my children isn’t fond of him anymore this is the nail in the coffin. But then I’m still worried that my younger child will be impacted by a breakup.
Im aware that 14 is a rough age and there’s hormones flying everywhere and she has over the past 6 months really grown up/hit the teenage years with a bang, so I don’t know if how she’s feeling is just a phase, but maybe not. I also wouldn’t want her to feel any guilt if I did end the relationship as ultimately it is my decision, but they and their happiness will always come first and they shouldn’t have to live with someone they no longer like or tolerate.
Has anyone experienced similar? Please be gentle, this is a very hard time right now. Thank you