I asked him out, he said yes now silence

[Jilly113]

After months of developing feelings for somebody I see on a regular basis (He works somewhere I have to frequent, a lot) I worked up the courage to ask him out today.

I asked if he was single and when he said yes I asked if he'd like to go for a drink together. He said yes. Great, I said, shall we swap numbers? I'll give you mine he said, so he did, then I text mine across.

I think it took him by surprise as I hadn't indicated that I liked him in that way. Anyway.

This was 10am this morning and he hasn't been in touch.

I know its hardly a week of silence after the fact but he's one of those people who use their phone constantly and upon reflection he didn't seem all that enthusiastic.

I feel a bit silly for being so direct and think I might have scared him off.

It's going to be so awkward seeing him now 😔

Text him?

I don't feel comfortable being the one to reach out for the second time at this point 🫣

I feel like if he was interested he'd have been in touch, that said, a message to say "thanks but no thanks" would have been graciously received too. Its the silence 😳

You asked him, so it’s on you to text and say you’d love to meet soon, suggest a place and ask if there a particular evening that’s best ‘or would Tuesday be okay?’ Or whatever.

Agree with @NegativeSpace , you
asked him out so he's probably waiting for you to suggest where and when

To clarify: you swapped numbers at 10am today?

Did you just send a quick “it’s me” message when you swapped numbers?
Maybe he is waiting for the follow up text with the date details?

You’ve asked him now, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle. So either you leave it and it gets awkward or you follow up with details of the date you asked for, and he goes for it which could be great or he says no, which could be awkward but no more awkward than it already is with the silence looming.

I'd probably not text. I know people say it's sexist to let the man do the chasing but when they're really into you, they let you know about it. Trust me. If you do text him, just keep it very casual and wait for his response.

You approached him and asked him out, so maybe he is expecting you to text him first?

I forgot the most relevant part.

After we swapped numbers he said he would send me a message later, that's why I've been waiting on one.

Yes

If this was the other way round OP, I suspect you’d be now waiting for him to reach out and make suggestions for the date. I know I would! If someone asked me out, then swapped numbers, I would be waiting for them to send over dates/venues etc to see if we could agree on a date/time place.

Just message him: Hey Frank, lovely to chat this morning…I’m free on (x/y/z) days. If either if these suit you, how about we meet at Bill’s Bar and grab a drink? Just let me know if any of these work for you 👌🏻

You've done the hard part. Ball is in his court. Leave it be, if he wanted to he would.

Had he not specifically said he'd text me I'd be more open to texting first. At this point I feel like the ball is in his court.

Yeah, I wouldn't text him first if that's what was agreed.
If he doesnt text you then chalk it up to experience and move on.

Those are my thoughts exactly.

If he doesn't get in touch I'm going to feel so incredibly awkward seeing him in the setting I have to see him in. Every other day.

Fuck.

He said he would text you—so we’ll see. Ball is in his court. It’s only been 8 hours! I’d be surprised if he texts today.

It is still "later" on today.

When does later end for you? Midnight?
You could mention specific place and time tomorrow?
Then give up if no commitment to a drink

He probably hasn’t even got home from work yet!

I think you put him in a very awkward position by asking him while he was at work. How was he supposed to respond?

Leave him now, he might not reply, which is fine.

It’s only 6 o clock, later to me would be this evening, try to calm down.

Well, 10 out of 10 for nerve OP!

But absolutely leave it now. He knows where you are

In hindsight I think so too.

The window was closing as he's not going to be around for a fortnight so I just seized the opportunity and I'm now kicking myself

I've never asked a man out in my life before 🫠

You could always send a text to say ‘on reflection, I might have put you in the spot today! If you’re interested, would a drink on Sunday night suit? If not interested, well, faint heart and all that.’

Really don't fret OP he is very likely to be flattered and caught on the back foot. Give him time to respond and really it's not awkward just act as if nothing happened. I had a conflict with my manager a few weeks ago but that's water under the bridge now it seems. If you are dwelling on this it will go totally out of proportion in your head. Its not ad if you were rude to him is it? Hope it works out for you

You asked him so you need to make the next move - don’t be scared, what’s the worst that could happen? He says no and your ego takes a knock for a couple of weeks - good luck!! 🤞