I asked him out, he said yes now silence

[Jilly113]

After months of developing feelings for somebody I see on a regular basis (He works somewhere I have to frequent, a lot) I worked up the courage to ask him out today.

I asked if he was single and when he said yes I asked if he'd like to go for a drink together. He said yes. Great, I said, shall we swap numbers? I'll give you mine he said, so he did, then I text mine across.

I think it took him by surprise as I hadn't indicated that I liked him in that way. Anyway.

This was 10am this morning and he hasn't been in touch.

I know its hardly a week of silence after the fact but he's one of those people who use their phone constantly and upon reflection he didn't seem all that enthusiastic.

I feel a bit silly for being so direct and think I might have scared him off.

It's going to be so awkward seeing him now 😔

That’s why you don’t chase men or do the legwork for them.
Sorry OP.

Just text him saying "im getting the vibe youre having second thoughts about that drink, just wanted to say no worries, I get it. Enjoy your time off"

I disagree @inkognitha . I asked my husband on our first date. (Although, if he’d said no, I would likely have never have seen him again, so my risk assessment on future awkward encounters was pretty much 0).

Oh god, don’t do this, for the love of god. It is utterly cringe and would make the situation so much worse.

Never again. I just hope he doesn't make a point of telling our peers, I feel embarrassed enough as it is.

This is probably my bruised ego talking but I can do better anyway. When I pointed him out to my sister she thought I was having her on 😬

Ugh, I'm sorry, OP. But honestly, what a weirdo (him, not you!). You don't want a man who's such a walnut that he can't even muster up a 'I'm really flattered, but I'd rather just be friends.' And then scuttles off like a coward? Ick. You dodged a bullet.

Did he give you any indication that he was interested in you OP? Your original post mentioned developing feelings for him over several months, but was that just one sided from you?

I thought there were indications he was interested but in light of how he has reacted now I think I likely deluded myself.

Some examples:

Catching him looking over at me a lot
Him going the extra mile on something he helped me with
A few incidents where he seemed nervous(?) around me - this was way before I asked him out. I've never flirted with him.
He started calling me "darling" (which i now think he must just do to everyone)

And he winked at me.

It was the wink that made me think "hmm, maybe he does?"

oh Jesus OP do not heed this advice under any circumstances.

He just called me and then immediately cancelled the call. Probably a pocket dial.

Aww don’t you worry, we’ve all been rejected and it’s horrible. You’ll feel better in two weeks, and you did the right thing. You’ll meet someone else and this will become a funny story. Look after yourself over these coming weeks

I'm not a man but no way would I have been texting anyone last night.

I don’t think you have done anything wrong by asking him out - good for you but I suspect he said yes as you caught him on the hop and he was being polite .. it’s hard to say no to someone’s face. Just forgot about it now and be breezy if you see him and move on quickly. Like it’s not a proposal so no big deal

Just act normally with him, don’t show any embarrassment,
and hopefully he’ll be scratching his head wondering what it was all about.

I don’t think you did anything wrong in approaching him. It sounds like he was interested in you but maybe he’s an old fashioned type who likes to do the chasing himself. In which case would that put you off him? It would me.

I would not give him another thought if I were you.

I wouldn't panic just yet. He could be getting other stuff done first to make sure he's fully present with you. A lot of people don't do things immediately now because they're protecting their boundaries to be more present with people. I would hold off on conclusions till the weekend if I were you. If the weekend passes and you still don't hear from him, then you know you're not his priority

Possibly… there’s also the possibility that he really likes you, and doesn’t know what to say and is nervous about it.

Just give him time, and act normally.

You did absolutely nothing wrong, OP. People meet through work all the time. You weren’t to know he’s the kind of wet lettuce who chooses avoidance rather than politely saying he didn’t see you that way.

That sounds like a good sign you got a missed call from him. He could want you to ring him back. I wouldn't for now though. play it cool and see what happens

Right. Act normally at work as if nothing happened, including the 'pocket dial'. He sounds a bit odd tbh.

Who pocket dials these days? At the very least he was reading your message again

Ah it wasn't his number that called, just one that looked similar. I've already deleted his contact.

Fair play to you for asking. You have moxie. You won't see him for a while so just act normally when you do. If he mentions not contacting you, just play it cool and say 'ah well, such is life' and sort of chuckle like an evil seductress. All will be well once you stop kicking yourself.

Yes, sounds like there were a few signs coming from him. Good for you for giving it a go, it hasn’t worked out and that’s fine. Just act normal and move onwards and upwards 💅

Block him for calling you darling

Well he sounds a bit of a plum, a gorgeous woman offering her number and he hasn't the experience to know how to take you up on the offer? Set him free and cast the net wider. Ask half a dozen men out and then take your pick xx
What an idiot he is.