I asked him out, he said yes now silence

[Jilly113]

After months of developing feelings for somebody I see on a regular basis (He works somewhere I have to frequent, a lot) I worked up the courage to ask him out today.

I asked if he was single and when he said yes I asked if he'd like to go for a drink together. He said yes. Great, I said, shall we swap numbers? I'll give you mine he said, so he did, then I text mine across.

I think it took him by surprise as I hadn't indicated that I liked him in that way. Anyway.

This was 10am this morning and he hasn't been in touch.

I know its hardly a week of silence after the fact but he's one of those people who use their phone constantly and upon reflection he didn't seem all that enthusiastic.

I feel a bit silly for being so direct and think I might have scared him off.

It's going to be so awkward seeing him now 😔

I know. I realised that after the first few replies.

As an aside, is football a reason men wouldn't text? I'm watching it now, although admittedly under duress of my DS, I'm not that interested in it personally.

"As an aside, is football a reason men wouldn't text?"

They can still find the time to text, but maybe they're not thinking about dates as they're thinking about when to watch which game.

Ball is totally in his court. Try and put it to the back of your mind.

It’s been barely what 12 hours? If that? And there is a pretty important game on right now …. Give the guy a chance ….

I mean if he also doesn’t text tomorrow then I might worry. And if you haven’t heard anything on or around Saturday I’d probably write it off but as is it’s early days. Maybe he’s waiting to see about something due at the weekend and doesn’t know when he will be free atm.

Just keep easy breezy and play it by ear.

I think you were very brave OP. He may well still contact you and I hope he does but if you don't hear from him I would just front it out - make no reference to it next time you see him, just act like it never happened. He's hardly likely to bring up the subject 😉

Honestly calm down, he’s been working the footie is on, he will text if he’s interested if you’ve not heard by Sunday write it off. Or as he’s away for two weeks, maybe when he comes back

dont reach out again, it will look desperate and give him the right ick.

Yes!!

I am not a football fan but some of my friends are and I know there’s no point texting them because they’ll be busy.

It’s not just about sitting at home and watching the game.
Lots of people will go to a pub or mates house etc and be too busy during the match and then the break times are to use the toilet and talk etc.

It’s a very rare occurrence so most people won’t be on their phones.

It's really very simple. So please try to relax.
If he doesn't message back, then game is not on.

But you had a go, massively brave, and onwards and upwards. And take sustenance in your courage and confidence. You are someone who shoots for what they want.

England is playing a really important game right now. He’ll be watching with his mates. He won’t be thinking about texting

Don't text. But also, don't feel bad. If he never replies then you'll breeze it out next time you see him, it'll be fine.

I have done similar though like you, only once in a blue moon. if he's feeling it, great and if not, hey ho, it was just a thought.

There are many reasons he may not have text. You said he's not going to be around for a while. Is he going away? Maybe he's been busy finishing things at work. Maybe he's busy preparing for whatever he's doing for the next week or so. Maybe he's with mates watching the football, in which case texting will be far from his mind. Don't write him off yet. Him not being around for a while could work to your advantage as it'll lessen any awkwardness when you see him again.

He's not going away per se but he isn't going to be working, which means I won't see him. Apologies for being vague I think I'd sooner die than out myself on this one 😂

You've every right to ask someone out for a date, OP, it's a compliment to him and brave of you. Maybe he won't take you up on the offer, which is a shame, but at least you have tried and won't have to agonise over what to do any more, because you've put the ball firmly in his court. Well done.

Upon reflection I'm pretty sure I made him feel awkward so I'm inwardly cringing this morning. There's a chance I will have to cross paths with him today too, not overwhelmingly likely but possible. I'm hoping not. I could do with the fortnight to get over myself 😂

Ah don't stress OP - well done on having the courage to ask him out!

I asked a guy out once and got rejected, it definitely stung and not going to lie if I went back in time I wouldn't do it again, but I too had the feeling at the time of 'i'd rather try then be left wondering what if'.

He said yes initially (maybe also felt put on the spot) and then after a few days sent a long message rejecting me. It was a nice message but honestly I would rather he just said a simple no.

It was a bit awkward a while but not too bad, I just went with a bright and breezy attitude like PP have said and didn't let him see that it bothered me.

You go girl!

You did a very good thing, at least now you know, and you have 2 weeks to let that settle as he wont be at work. No regrets!

Don't beat yourself up about it. You had the guts to tell him you were interested - good for you! And don't be embarrassed - there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

If you see him today - hold your head high and say a breezy hello and then just get on with your day. 🙂

OP don't stress it. I once asked out a man I worked with, he said yes and we ended up married for the worst 9 years of my life. Had he just said no I wouldnt have had to suffer lol I am sure whatever is meant to happen will happen and good on you putting yourself out there that takes guts :)

Yes… If I had plans lined up for the evening already, my focus would be on that.

Likewise I wouldn’t text during my working day.

I’d also probably leave it a couple of days as I wouldn’t want to appear too keen.

If you do see him today, he might suggest something then.

That makes it very different as he was clear that he was going to text you. So yes, the ball is definitely in his court. Although "later" doesn't mean the same day to everyone. Maybe leave it till Friday, which will be later in the week before you write him off. He might be waiting for a shift rota or something.

He just deliberately avoided me.

He was standing in the car park when I got to work then went inside when he saw me coming (I didn't actually want to bump in to him today myself as I feel self conscious about him not getting in touch)

Seems a bit unnecessary to be honest - I asked him out once I've hardly harassed him. A simple no thanks would have been sufficient. He's just made it awkward now. Bloody hell.

Oh Lordy, ok just act breezy and don’t be awkward in return.

Yep just keep it light and pleasant when you see him next, like nothing has happened. Make no mention of it. Once you’ve done this the first time it’ll be easier after that.

You just need to act as if the swapping phone numbers never happened. Don’t feel silly. He was obviously too polite to tell you he wasn’t interested face to face.