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Original poster

I asked him out, he said yes now silence

218 replies

Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 18:03

After months of developing feelings for somebody I see on a regular basis (He works somewhere I have to frequent, a lot) I worked up the courage to ask him out today.

I asked if he was single and when he said yes I asked if he'd like to go for a drink together. He said yes. Great, I said, shall we swap numbers? I'll give you mine he said, so he did, then I text mine across.

I think it took him by surprise as I hadn't indicated that I liked him in that way. Anyway.

This was 10am this morning and he hasn't been in touch.

I know its hardly a week of silence after the fact but he's one of those people who use their phone constantly and upon reflection he didn't seem all that enthusiastic.

I feel a bit silly for being so direct and think I might have scared him off.

It's going to be so awkward seeing him now 😔

OP posts:
Lifestooshort71 · 15/07/2026 18:38

You asked him out for a drink not a long-term relationship so there's no need to feel awkward. If you don't hear from him then pretend the invite never happened when you see him next. Bright and breezy does it!

FinallyHere · 15/07/2026 18:40

Let’s hope he is working out some options and will make good on his promise to text you later.

well done on making the first move. I do agree that the ball is now in his court.

Fingers crossed.

HappiestSleeping · 15/07/2026 18:57

I wouldn't rule him out on the basis of him being slow. Many men are chancers and will ask anything with a pulse on the basis that some will say yes.

If he is a little slow on the uptake, it doesn't necessarily mean he isn't interested.

My wife kept asking me out to places and it took a long while for me to think "if I play my cards right....". 🤦‍♂️

Original poster
Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 19:13

HappiestSleeping · 15/07/2026 18:57

I wouldn't rule him out on the basis of him being slow. Many men are chancers and will ask anything with a pulse on the basis that some will say yes.

If he is a little slow on the uptake, it doesn't necessarily mean he isn't interested.

My wife kept asking me out to places and it took a long while for me to think "if I play my cards right....". 🤦‍♂️

Did you accept the invitation, say you'd send her a message and then not send one though? 😁

OP posts:
PepsiBook · 15/07/2026 19:15

You gave him 8 hours...

category12 · 15/07/2026 19:21

I suppose he still might message you tonight.

I presume he's been at work so I'd probably give it a bit longer before giving up hope.

Fiendishandfiery · 15/07/2026 19:28

I’m really stunned at this, I’d assume later meant in the next few days, I’m really stunned op you think 8 hours is enough and it means he’s not interested,

Goditsmemargaret · 15/07/2026 19:32

Listen you've let him know you're interested. Just forget about him except to self congratulate for your own bravery. If he gets in touch, great. If he doesn't, then no loss - someone better is coming along.

Seriously. You did great to ask. Who knows what's going on with him? Get busy with your life.

NotMajorTom · 15/07/2026 19:37

Fiendishandfiery · 15/07/2026 19:28

I’m really stunned at this, I’d assume later meant in the next few days, I’m really stunned op you think 8 hours is enough and it means he’s not interested,

This
poor bloke. Let him get home from work before you write him off!

and tbh you asked him so you message. If you posted that he’d asked you and he hadn’t texted the you’d be told he’s the arse.

relax. Message him. Then relax some more

Lavender14 · 15/07/2026 19:42

Honestly op, I totally get why you're feeling in a pickle over it but I agree the ball is now in his court.

He's a grown up so if he didn't want to go on a date he could easily just have said thank you but actually I keep work and private life seperate as it stops things getting complicated. If he's said yes with no intention of following through then I think that's on him.

You've made the first move, you've put yourself out there and you've sent him your number. He's said he'll text you.

I think now you wait and see what he does next. At the end of the day you don't want to be wasting time on someone you need to shephard into dating you.

I think it's still quite early, he's maybe had a busy day, he's maybe thinking about what to say in a message or he's panicking and not sure how to extract himself, or maybe he had a different time frame in his head when he said he'd text/ doesn't want to look too keen. But this are all his issues to deal with.

I wouldn't be sending another message, I'd wait and see what he does next and if he doesn't text you then the next time you see him id actually just say to him 'hey listen I'm sorry if I put you on the spot the other day I know some people like to keep work seperate- I hope we can just move past it as normal? And then you've cleared the air.

It really doesn't need to be awkward and at the day you need to see what effort he puts in so you can decide whether or not it matches what you need from a guy you're dating.

HappiestSleeping · 15/07/2026 19:44

Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 19:13

Did you accept the invitation, say you'd send her a message and then not send one though? 😁

Show quote history

No, that is a fair point. I did message when I said I would.

Two2TooAlsoToToward · 15/07/2026 19:44

Lavender14 · 15/07/2026 19:42

Honestly op, I totally get why you're feeling in a pickle over it but I agree the ball is now in his court.

He's a grown up so if he didn't want to go on a date he could easily just have said thank you but actually I keep work and private life seperate as it stops things getting complicated. If he's said yes with no intention of following through then I think that's on him.

You've made the first move, you've put yourself out there and you've sent him your number. He's said he'll text you.

I think now you wait and see what he does next. At the end of the day you don't want to be wasting time on someone you need to shephard into dating you.

I think it's still quite early, he's maybe had a busy day, he's maybe thinking about what to say in a message or he's panicking and not sure how to extract himself, or maybe he had a different time frame in his head when he said he'd text/ doesn't want to look too keen. But this are all his issues to deal with.

I wouldn't be sending another message, I'd wait and see what he does next and if he doesn't text you then the next time you see him id actually just say to him 'hey listen I'm sorry if I put you on the spot the other day I know some people like to keep work seperate- I hope we can just move past it as normal? And then you've cleared the air.

It really doesn't need to be awkward and at the day you need to see what effort he puts in so you can decide whether or not it matches what you need from a guy you're dating.

Good advice

chocoluv · 15/07/2026 19:58

Do not text him.

He will likely text you but may just be busy.

I remember the last time someone have me their number through a co-worker.
I waited until the weekend to text (not sure why now perhaps I didn’t want to come across as too keen or something) but I learnt later how he’d been checking his phone constantly.
So it is common to not text straight away.

But you did put him on the spot a bit.
I think you were amazing btw but if he’s a nice guy then he may not have wanted to hurt your feelings.

I have regularly accepted phone numbers and then texted later to say that I’m not interested because we work together, just got out of a relationship, too young etc.

Hopefully he’ll text either way but I wouldn’t see this as a bad sign necessarily.

I don’t know you but I’m so proud of you 😂
The amount of men I’ve fancied and felt a spark or them hinting about fancying me, but I’ve never been brave enough to ask for their number and then I end up not seeing them again and regretting it.

Original poster
Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 19:59

Lavender14 · 15/07/2026 19:42

Honestly op, I totally get why you're feeling in a pickle over it but I agree the ball is now in his court.

He's a grown up so if he didn't want to go on a date he could easily just have said thank you but actually I keep work and private life seperate as it stops things getting complicated. If he's said yes with no intention of following through then I think that's on him.

You've made the first move, you've put yourself out there and you've sent him your number. He's said he'll text you.

I think now you wait and see what he does next. At the end of the day you don't want to be wasting time on someone you need to shephard into dating you.

I think it's still quite early, he's maybe had a busy day, he's maybe thinking about what to say in a message or he's panicking and not sure how to extract himself, or maybe he had a different time frame in his head when he said he'd text/ doesn't want to look too keen. But this are all his issues to deal with.

I wouldn't be sending another message, I'd wait and see what he does next and if he doesn't text you then the next time you see him id actually just say to him 'hey listen I'm sorry if I put you on the spot the other day I know some people like to keep work seperate- I hope we can just move past it as normal? And then you've cleared the air.

It really doesn't need to be awkward and at the day you need to see what effort he puts in so you can decide whether or not it matches what you need from a guy you're dating.

I agree with PP this is good advice thank you.

I'm not going to follow up with a text, if he isn't interested / feels awkward that's the last thing he will want.

I'll be breezy and cordial when I next see him and say exactly as you suggested.

I would hate for there to be an awkward atmosphere.

Also noted what people are saying about how it's too soon to write him off, maybe.

I took later to mean later today but who knows really.

If nothing comes of it then I'm sure I'll be able to look back and see the humour it one day, the poor sod definitely didn't see it coming 😂

OP posts:
PeachOctopus · 15/07/2026 20:04

It might be football related.

chocoluv · 15/07/2026 20:10

PeachOctopus · 15/07/2026 20:04

It might be football related.

Good point.

He could have been pretty busy getting home from work and getting ready to go out with mates etc

I definitely need to be in the right headspace to text someone like this and if I was rushing around then I’d leave it until I was less busy.

Really good point.

Zanatdy · 15/07/2026 20:12

Give him chance. It isn’t later yet, and maybe he doesn’t want to act too keen. If you haven’t heard in a few days then I guess you know he isn’t interested but too early at moment to assume that.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2026 20:16

StrawberryMatchaLatte · 15/07/2026 18:11

I'd probably not text. I know people say it's sexist to let the man do the chasing but when they're really into you, they let you know about it. Trust me. If you do text him, just keep it very casual and wait for his response.

In general, yes, but here it was OP who asked him out. She's taken on that role so she needs to stand by it. It's on her to suggest something imo.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2026 20:18

" but I agree the ball is now in his court."

How is the ball in his court? OP asked him to go out, but didn't say when or where. It's for her to say something. If she had asked him about Friday at 7, then yes, the ball would be in his court, but she hasn't. She just made a vague suggestion of going out sometime.

Original poster
Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 20:22

Thank you for these replies, they help. I feel a little better. I think.

It's so uncharacteristic of me to do something like that. I was going back and forth with myself about it for days. In the end I concluded that I'd rather deal with the potential of a rejection than spend another 3-6 months wondering "what if"

OP posts:
Original poster
Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 20:24

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2026 20:18

" but I agree the ball is now in his court."

How is the ball in his court? OP asked him to go out, but didn't say when or where. It's for her to say something. If she had asked him about Friday at 7, then yes, the ball would be in his court, but she hasn't. She just made a vague suggestion of going out sometime.

He said he was going to send me a message himself, I risk looking even more desperate if I reach out now.

OP posts:
Teacupover5 · 15/07/2026 20:32

Stop thinking of yourself as desperate !!-you knew what you wanted and you went for it .That is reason to be proud of yourself .This man is lucky you chose him .Faint heart never won fair lady and all that ….why should it be any different for us girls ?

RoseOliviaAu · 15/07/2026 20:32

It’s the World Cup semis. He will be busy tonight. Expect a text tomorrow or Friday. If we win tonight the date will not be on Saturday or Sunday this week.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2026 20:33

Jilly113 · 15/07/2026 20:24

He said he was going to send me a message himself, I risk looking even more desperate if I reach out now.

Show quote history

Well, you didn't explain that in your OP!

smallsilvercloud · 15/07/2026 20:34

Maybe he’s watching the football, I’d give it until later this evening if not then it unlikely he’s interested.
Dont beat yourself up about asking him out, it’s better than wondering what if all the time.